Trying to detox at home and feeling suicidal

[itsallover]

I am trying to detox off medications and supplements I have used for a few years and taking it down just a little bit has left me feeling like I just want to end this shit already because I am not completely healthy yet and I have stupid counselors pushing me in this direction. If they reduce my medication as a punishment then I will just go ahead and do myself in as medical community is full of it and only harms people, never heals or helps them. I have been to all these different specialists, and tried so many things and I am a little better but still struggling immensely. I can't live with the thought that five whole years or now even more have been wasted with this garbage. I don't know what else to say. Maybe someone can let me know that detoxing yourself does make you suicidal. I really don't know what to do anymore. Im thinking why get sober when everyday I am going to struggle physically and then mentally I am going to lose my mind and probably make a split second decision to take my life that may go wrong and I end up as a complete vegetable. I pretty much am one now as I don't work, go out, or anything, but at least the medications helped. I think Im going to curse out this counselor and the stupid agency that sent her and then had the guile to question me about a previous counselor who went out of his way to keep contact and understood me while they were just waiting on fucking paperwork. Stupid bitch of a manager called me back to ask when exactly I last spoke to him which left me furious and now they have some professional type bitch up my ass. Rant over. Thanks for any advice.

 

[Carrotcake]

Getting off your meds can definitely destabilize you and increase suicidal thoughts/tendencies.