Help Trying not to lose it and am at my wits' end. Any advice appreciated.

[Nanako]

I have to keep myself calm and level-headed until I can acquire the tools I need to ctb. I live with my parents and have no money of my own, plus they're always around, so this might take a lot of time and planning. Problem is, I keep having terrible thoughts about how my future will go, as mild paranoia is unfortunately a trait of mine, and on top of that I also have to deal with this constant feeling that I'm on the verge of having a panic attack and giving in to despair, which is my worst fear right now.
Aside from my unstable mental state, I don't have to deal with any sort of unbearable pain or discomfort or anything like that, I just have to maintain a strong mind and not give in to despair, but that's a lot more dificult than it sounds.
I'm aware that I might just be naturally more anxious than most and that there might not be much I can do to quell this but I have to ask anyway: any advice on what I could do to alleviate my anxiety and fears? I drink chamomile tea but it's not super effective. Is there a better type of tea to quell anxiety? (or a good supplement) I try to keep myself distracted by watching videos or playing videogames, but they're not too effective either.
Talking to people online helps too, somewhat. Send me a message if you feel like it, we can talk about whatever and be a support for one another.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

Journal. Writing about your feelings can help!

 

[meetapple]

Try exercise.

 

[Gordy99]

I feel like I say this in a lot of my posts but have you considered taking medication? One of the medications I take is klonopin and I rarely have any anxiety. I'm on a low dose too. If you are against medication than that is perfectly ok. I don't think I could have gotten rid of my anxiety without the medication. Distracting yourself with videos and video games is definitely helpful.

 

[Nanako]

I feel like I say this in a lot of my posts but have you considered taking medication? One of the medications I take is klonopin and I rarely have any anxiety. I'm on a low dose too. If you are against medication than that is perfectly ok. I don't think I could have gotten rid of my anxiety without the medication. Distracting yourself with videos and video games is definitely helpful.

I might... Only as a last resort though.

Journal. Writing about your feelings can help!

That's an interesting suggestion, I'll give it some thought.

 

[Bahbah Blacksheep]

I don't know, if you'd prefer natural stuff over pharmaceuticals, maybe try kava or kratom (I'd say red or green strains in low doses).

 

[VerbalWinter]

Practicing meditation could help I think

 

[StarryStarry]

I don't know, if you'd prefer natural stuff over pharmaceuticals, maybe try kava or kratom (I'd say red or green strains in low doses).

Where can you get kava or kratom? Is it good for depression? Thanks.

 

[Bahbah Blacksheep]

Where can you get kava or kratom? Is it good for depression? Thanks.

I don't know where you're at, I believe they are legal in most in most countries, just look it up in google if there's a shop that ships it to where you live. In simplified terms, you can think of kava as a plant benzodiazapine, and kratom as a plant with opioid effects (depending on the strain, some are also more stimulating). I have had quite positive experiences, especially with kratom. Though it can also be addictive, and is rather gross to consume (if you don't get it in capsules). But you get used to it...

 

[StarryStarry]

I don't know where you're at, I believe they are legal in most in most countries, just look it up in google if there's a shop that ships it to where you live. In simplified terms, you can think of kava as a plant benzodiazapine, and kratom as a plant with opioid effects (depending on the strain, some are also more stimulating). I have had quite positive experiences, especially with kratom. Though it can also be addictive, and is rather gross to consume (if you don't get it in pill form). But you get used to it...

I'm in the US. I will confer with my favorite friend, Goode. Thank you!

I'm in the US. I will confer with my favorite friend, Goode. Thank you!

That should say Google. My fingers are tired.

 

[Bahbah Blacksheep]

I'm in the US. I will confer with my favorite friend, Goode. Thank you!

That should say Google. My fingers are tired.

Worth a try I'd say. You can look up what the different kratom strains are, in short: red=sedating, opioidlike white=stimulating, green=something in between

 

[StarryStarry]

Worth a try I'd say. You can look up what the different strains are, in short: red=sedating, opioidlike white=stimulating, green=something in between

You are a wealth of information thank you!

 

[Nostalgic]

journal how you feel and your thoughts. Wake up and go to sleep at the same times everyday. Get into a daily routine and build structure in your day, learn to draw, take lessons online or with skillshare maybe for example. Have goals and maybe pick up a new skill (keeps you focused on other things). I dont know your parents but ask them to support you and keep you accountable for this. Under the assumption you're parents are good to you and good parents in general, if not it might be best to leave them alone. Keep you chin up. I wish you all the best, lots of love

 

[Arrow]

One thing that helps me deal with future dread/paranoia is writing or journaling as @PDAnnie2610 suggested. The other day I was feeling massive dread so I just took like 5 or so pages of notes on a word document about all of my problems and ideas to solve them. Haven't really made any progress but it was kind of fun for some reason and helped me relax. Maybe try that.