Trust People Less and Less Each Day

[HGL91]

I find that the older I get, and the more intelligent people are that I associate with, the less I trust people because they're so good at lying. People can lie to your face that they will do something to help you and then not follow through what so ever.

I'm so tired of dealing with people and and this world. I trust people on this forum more than I do in real life and I don't even share personal info here. That's how little I trust.

Ok. Rant over.

Anyone else have trust issues? Do you trust anyone?

 

[bath salts]

I trust myself and thats it. You can't really rely on anyone but yourself in the world and thats the sad truth. It's easy to believe what you're being fed, but it gets hard to continue on that way.

 

[Notcutoutforlife]

I've found the same, the older I get, the more I realise everyone is just playing games with you for their own benefit and always at my cost - I don't believe all so it maliciously but it's rife - I don't live like that. I just want honest, decent people who will help you without you feeling that they're doing it out of charity or to make themselves feel good that they 'helped'.

Sorry I went off on one a bit there but I recognise exactly what you're talking about - and it sucks. I keep being told to socialise to get out of this but the more I do, the more I see of the above which just makes me want to check out even more! It's hard to feel a connection with people when you feel you're just being used! My own mother called me a doormat recently so you can see how things have been in terms of my being social haha.

Many hugs
Xxx

 

[TimeToDie]

It's clear to me that I'm the only person that I can rely upon. I don't deal with many lies since social phobia ensures that I keep dealing with people to an absolute minimum. And it's not just lies that prevent from helping you. Example: my best friend owes me $15,000 and due to her total inability to pay me in cash, I hired her to do things around my house to pay me back. It's been 7 weeks since I've seen her. She has seemingly endless health problems that keep her home, mostly in bed. I'm sure she had a sincere desire to pay me back, but sincerity doesn't clean my house or mow my lawn.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I find that the older I get, and the more intelligent people are that I associate with, the less I trust people because they're so good at lying. People can lie to your face that they will do something to help you and then not follow through what so ever.

I'm so tired of dealing with people and and this world. I trust people on this forum more than I do in real life and I don't even share personal info here. That's how little I trust.

Ok. Rant over.

Anyone else have trust issues? Do you trust anyone?

I trust very few people. I would trust an alligator more than most people.

 

[Pilum Muralis]

I trust myself, and my husband and that's it, and even he doesn't know many of my secrets or just how bad I've been lately. I don't have any real friends currently, just a few friends I've been online friends with for 10+ years. When I worked, I had "office friends" that were all petty,p and two faced and I wouldn't confide what I was having for lunch with them any of them.The last friend I truly had ctb a few years ago, and I wasn't there for him. Some friend I am.
The one time I truly confided in who I thought was a friend, ended up turning on me and using much of what I told her against me (my severe anxiety problems and my fathers alcoholism), then bullied me for 2 years in high school. I have a hard time trusting people now that actually want to be my friend. I always wonder what their motive is.
I think I've told you all more than I've ever told any of my so called friends over the years.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

It's clear to me that I'm the only person that I can rely upon. I don't deal with many lies since social phobia ensures that I keep dealing with people to an absolute minimum. And it's not just lies that prevent from helping you. Example: my best friend owes me $15,000 and due to her total inability to pay me in cash, I hired her to do things around my house to pay me back. It's been 7 weeks since I've seen her. She has seemingly endless health problems that keep her home, mostly in bed. I'm sure she had a sincere desire to pay me back, but sincerity doesn't clean my house or mow my lawn.

The best policy is NOT to lend money to people. Especially if you are expecting to get it back. Does she really have all those health problems or are they an excuse not to pay you back ?

I trust myself, and my husband and that's it, and even he doesn't know many of my secrets or just how bad I've been lately. I don't have any real friends currently, just a few friends I've been online friends with for 10+ years. When I worked, I had "office friends" that were all petty,p and two faced and I wouldn't confide what I was having for lunch with them any of them.The last friend I truly had ctb a few years ago, and I wasn't there for him. Some friend I am.
The one time I truly confided in who I thought was a friend, ended up turning on me and using much of what I told her against me (my severe anxiety problems and my fathers alcoholism), then bullied me for 2 years in high school. I have a hard time trusting people now that actually want to be my friend. I always wonder what their motive is.
I think I've told you all more than I've ever told any of my so called friends over the years.

Sorry to hear that. As for the first friend... sometimes it is difficult to be there for people when we are dealing with our own issues. I don't know what happened but you can't beat yourself up about it for the rest of your life. Easier said than done ... I know. I do it about my mistakes also.
I've trusted people I shouldn't have as well. I'm more careful now.

 

[TimeToDie]

The best policy is NOT to lend money to people. Especially if you are expecting to get it back. Does she really have all those health problems or are they an excuse not to pay you back ?

The decision to lend her money was clearly temporary insanity on my part. That was in the summer of 2016, so if her intent was to not pay me back she could have cut off contact three years ago. She is the nicest person you could possibly imagine and even I, the world's leading cynic who can see that worst in everyone, am certain that she was honest & sincere.

She needed the money to pay back her mother-in-law. Typing that it sounds mighty stupid to provide her with funds to pay off a prior debt that she was unable to pay off on her own all while being crazy enough to think she'd somehow be able to pay me back -- and pay me with interest no less. The idea of getting interest long since passed, along with the wild & crazy idea that I'd ever seen even a single dollar in cash. The only repayment has been in the form of her doing work for me, though that's always been limited by the constraints of her disability (arthritis pain) & always had to be scheduled around her part time work. She's a school lunch lady so she's had no work since early June but now she's too ill to come over.

Some of her ailments would be obvious to anyone who's not blind, so she's not faking.

 

[a_strange_day]

dont even trust myself and my judgment, I can change my mind on something in an hour, so...anyway I think that trust is too strong a word generally speaking, I rely more on acts only, it dosen't lie

 

[JoeFailure]

I think those people you can truly trust are few and far between but they are out there. I have good friends but 3 in particular that truly are trustworthy. And some of my family. So it is possible, yes.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

The decision to lend her money was clearly temporary insanity on my part. That was in the summer of 2016, so if her intent was to not pay me back she could have cut off contact three years ago. She is the nicest person you could possibly imagine and even I, the world's leading cynic who can see that worst in everyone, am certain that she was honest & sincere.

She needed the money to pay back her mother-in-law. Typing that it sounds mighty stupid to provide her with funds to pay off a prior debt that she was unable to pay off on her own all while being crazy enough to think she'd somehow be able to pay me back -- and pay me with interest no less. The idea of getting interest long since passed, along with the wild & crazy idea that I'd ever seen even a single dollar in cash. The only repayment has been in the form of her doing work for me, though that's always been limited by the constraints of her disability (arthritis pain) & always had to be scheduled around her part time work. She's a school lunch lady so she's had no work since early June but now she's too ill to come over.

Some of her ailments would be obvious to anyone who's not blind, so she's not faking.

I am sorry for you and for her but I doubt you are going to get your money back. I really hope you do but I don't think it will happen.

 

[oopswronglife]

The best policy is NOT to lend money to people. Especially if you are expecting to get it back. Does she really have all those health problems or are they an excuse not to pay you back ?

This has been a real problem for me because I am empathetic and want to help people. If someone is worse off than me, no matter how bad off I am, I try to spare what I can...and it's nearly always resulted in them screwing me over. I lost a big chunk over Christmas, that I couldn't really spare long term, because I couldn't stand how someone was being ignored and treated. But they turned around and screwed me over. To me victims who victimize others are another level of evil because if anyone should understand it's them. Related to this, I hate people who punish the innocent for the crimes of the scum so I refuse to just assume everyone is a liar because I have suffered as a result of people doing that. It's a real struggle and I don't know the answer.

 

[bacardirum]

I find that the older I get, and the more intelligent people are that I associate with, the less I trust people because they're so good at lying. People can lie to your face that they will do something to help you and then not follow through what so ever.

I'm so tired of dealing with people and and this world. I trust people on this forum more than I do in real life and I don't even share personal info here. That's how little I trust.

Ok. Rant over.

Anyone else have trust issues? Do you trust anyone?

I hear you, be selective of who you open up to and talk to in real life

 

[Soul]

My trust issue is that I can't help it - I trust people even when they've betrayed me or lie to me. If I can't cut them out of my life entirely - like work colleagues - I just go right back to trusting them because I don't know any other way to deal with people.

I *have* learned not to lend money, though. I simply give what I can.

 

[Seven]

I place too much trust in people and get hurt in the end, it's really not worth it. I guess I just assume the best in everyone but it's usually not the case. Recently I'm going back to old habits, being cynical, stoic, and very distrustful. I can hide it pretty well, It usually makes my life much easier when I am like this. Prepare for the worst hope for the best. Hope's kinda useless though..

 

[HGL91]

Oh my god! This is what I mean about not trusting people!

I went to a new clinic today to get a my Lexapro prescription renewed. Doctor said it didn't seem like it was helping and prescribed me 2 new drugs. Since I left the office 8 hours ago, I have called the receptionist THREE times at the clinic telling them that the pharmacy hasn't received her prescription yet (and of course called the pharmacy 3 times as well)! Now the clinic is closed at 5pm and I can't get my medication today! I am SO pissed!

Psych medication needs to be taken seriously because the withdrawal is quick and awful!

I place too much trust in people and get hurt in the end, it's really not worth it. I guess I just assume the best in everyone but it's usually not the case. Recently I'm going back to old habits, being cynical, stoic, and very distrustful. I can hide it pretty well, It usually makes my life much easier when I am like this. Prepare for the worst hope for the best. Hope's kinda useless though..

I don't know which is better anymore. I find if don't trust people easily, they take offense and try to ruin my life and if I trust people too easily they still ruin my life but are nice to my face!

It's a lose-lose situation. Useless like you said. :/

 

[oopswronglife]

I went to a new clinic today to get a my Lexapro prescription renewed. Doctor said it didn't seem like it was helping and prescribed me 2 new drugs. Since I left the office 8 hours ago, I have called the receptionist THREE times at the clinic telling them that the pharmacy hasn't received her prescription yet (and of course called the pharmacy 3 times as well)! Now the clinic is closed at 5pm and I can't get my medication today! I am SO pissed!

I have this experience every single time I try to get a prescription. The doctors office always messes it up. Doesn't respond to the pharmacy after repeated requests. Then starts acting like I am harrassing THEM over it because I am calling every few days to try and sort it, which always takes a week or more and about three "it's taken care of" messages from them wherein it is NOT. It's maddening and nothing I can say or do gets them to fix it, and each problem is tallied up against me as if I am causing it. They even recently instituted a policy saying you are only "allowed" to call ONCE re prescriptions and anything more than that will result in them refusing to continue care. When I asked how one was supposed to deal with them messing up if we are not allowed to follow up I was ignored. I hate doctors.

 

[HGL91]

I have this experience every single time I try to get a prescription. The doctors office always messes it up. Doesn't respond to the pharmacy after repeated requests. Then starts acting like I am harrassing THEM over it because I am calling every few days to try and sort it, which always takes a week or more and about three "it's taken care of" messages from them wherein it is NOT. It's maddening and nothing I can say or do gets them to fix it, and each problem is tallied up against me as if I am causing it. They even recently instituted a policy saying you are only "allowed" to call ONCE re prescriptions and anything more than that will result in them refusing to continue care. When I asked how one was supposed to deal with them messing up if we are not allowed to follow up I was ignored. I hate doctors.

"They even recently instituted a policy saying you are only "allowed" to call ONCE re prescriptions and anything more than that will result in them refusing to continue care. When I asked how one was supposed to deal with them messing up if we are not allowed to follow up I was ignored. I hate doctors."

This is so cruel!! They KNOW that medication withdrawal is serious and yet they don't take medication situations seriously!! So wrong. :( :(

 

[Ruffian]

I only trust my boyfriend, and that's because we've been together for almost 8 years. I have a strict "no contract" policy, so marriage is out of the question. I have serious financial problems, so if you marry me, you're only marrying problems. Love doesn't require a piece of paper. Same reason I never had kids - why make little versions of me when I can't get my own shit together. There are two people I really trust and care about on this forum, if they see this I hope they know who the are. There are others who really just make me day. And unfortunately, I devolve into gossip occasionally, but try really hard not to. And then there's the people who say goodbye, but are still active the forum. I never learned passive-aggressiveness very well, so I really appreciate it when someone sends me a PM that I'm crossing a line. I don't want to add to anyone's suffering. Trust is very difficult for me. Good topic.

 

[Conflicted Cat]

I have very extreme trust issues. You can never tell what someone's thinking in their mind. I can't even trust anyone to do a simple task for me, because they always fuck it up, or try use it in a way that benefits them.

"You want something done right, you have to do it yourself."

 

[HGL91]

I have very extreme trust issues. You can never tell what someone's thinking in their mind. I can't even trust anyone to do a simple task for me, because they always fuck it up, or try use it in a way that benefits them.

"You want something done right, you have to do it yourself."

"You want something done right, you have to do it yourself."

Unless it's surgery! But yes, I understand what you mean. Everyone does things differently and it can be really annoying when you pay for a service or ask for help on something and they mess up. Then, if you do everything by yourself it can be exhausting.

And yes. Can't read minds. Sometimes I'm glad about that because I'm sure everyone thinks some messed up things, but also it can be frustrating when a person says one thing, and then does another.

 

[DoneWithThis]

Hmm. Trust. I trust them to be emotional and irrational. Driven more by fear and self preservation, than objectivity and logic. You know why? Because I'm no better. I've hurt people that didn't deserve to be hurt. Broke their trust or let them down. Probably, some of the people who have trusted me the most, are the ones I've hurt the most. And I've also had the same thing happen to me. Sometimes a person that we wouldn't generally trust surprises us, and sometimes someone that we really trust lets us down.

What can I trust? I can trust that everyone is going to do, what the they think is best in that situation. Whatever the outcome might be. I can trust that everyone isn't always going to act or feel the way I expect them to act or feel, or how I would act and feel in that situation. I trust most people until they give me a reason(s) not to trust them anymore.

 

[HGL91]

Hmm. Trust. I trust them to be emotional and irrational. Driven more by fear and self preservation, than objectivity and logic. You know why? Because I'm no better. I've hurt people that didn't deserve to be hurt. Broke their trust or let them down. Probably, some of the people who have trusted me the most, are the ones I've hurt the most. And I've also had the same thing happen to me. Sometimes a person that we wouldn't generally trust surprises us, and sometimes someone that we really trust lets us down.

What can I trust? I can trust that everyone is going to do, what the they think is best in that situation. Whatever the outcome might be. I can trust that everyone isn't always going to act or feel the way I expect them to act or feel, or how I would act and feel in that situation. I trust most people until they give me a reason(s) not to trust them anymore.

I agree. I'm not better either. Another reason I figure I might as well off myself. I can't trust myself to be the person I want to be. I can't trust others to be the person I want them to be.

Like you said, people make decisions based on fear and self preservation. After all, that's how humans were created to think, in order to survive.