I want to have friends and be honest and open with people. But I cut myself off and I don't reach out. I don't talk much and when I do it's always awkward and one-sided. I can be mean and cold. I think I've forgotten how to socialize. Last time I felt comfortable talking to others was when I was 11yo. How to make friends if you hate yourself? I don't wanna be such a downer but I've not been one in 8 years how tf do I change my entire personality? Where do I start? I feel powerless. I am so lonely I think it's making me insane.
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If you haven't yet, we highly encourage you to check out our Recovery Resources thread!
Jumping right into socializing may be too high a hurdle. If you find a group that is oriented around a task or subject, it can may the occasional peripheral social connections a little easier. For example volunteer work or finding a book club through the library may be a place to find social encounters that can ease you into experimenting.
You can also prepare statements to recover from any socially awkward situations should they arise such as . "You will have to excuse me, I have been a bit of a recluse for a while and my social skills are not at their peak."
You can also prepare statements to recover from any socially awkward situations should they arise such as . "You will have to excuse me, I have been a bit of a recluse for a while and my social skills are not at their peak."
For what it's worth, most adult friendships seem to start by having a common activity. Finding something low effort but consistent might be helpful.
