Venting Trouble making a choice w a rant

[SmutnyJay]

I've been recently considering killing myself though I just have thoughts about how it will affect my family. For instance it will make my mother sad but because I drain so much money from her and keep on pissing her off I don't think it will negatively affect her. Personally I don't have much to offer to the world, I don't care much for school since I have so many chronic diseases that already affect me and others physically, mentally, and financially. (IBS, Anxiety, Depression, Fatigue, etc) I don't have the strength to even get out of bed sometimes, or to even finish school work to graduate senior year of high school. I literally have NO ambitions whatsoever in the future. College is crazy expensive but I don't even know what to do. I was hoping to join the reserves atleast but I'd be immediately disqualified because of anti depressants. Not to mention in order to not go ballistic from an anxiety attack I'm heavily medicated. I see no future for myself nor do I want to. It's getting really tiring and painful living like this. That's all I gotta say for now, if anyone has advice just lmk. As of right now I'm considering suicide hopefully in the next few weeks.

 

[theboy]

Therapy?

 

[SmutnyJay]

Therapy?

Since I was 10 years old I've been to therapy for ADHD, then 2 years later anxiety and soon depression, I stopped therapy last year since it had no effect on me. From now to 2013 I've been to atleast ~13 different therapists/counselors. I even tried hypno therapy.

 

[theboy]

Since I was 10 years old I've been to therapy for ADHD, then 2 years later anxiety and soon depression, I stopped therapy last year since it had no effect on me. From now to 2013 I've been to atleast ~13 different therapists/counselors. I even tried hypno therapy.

Oh, and do you have a family member or friend to lean on?

 

[SmutnyJay]

Since I was 10 years old I've been to therapy for ADHD, then 2 years later anxiety and soon depression, I stopped therapy last year since it had no effect on me. From now to 2013 I've been to atleast ~13 different therapists/counselors. I even tried hypno therapy.

Oh, and do you have a family member or friend to lean on?

Yeah just my mom, father is absent. But I've worn her out through the years.

 

[theboy]

Yeah just my mom, father is absent. But I've worn her out through the years.

I understand you
I too have "ruined" my family, especially my mother.

Maybe you can apply for a scholarship for university or get a part time job

 

[SmutnyJay]

I understand you
I too have "ruined" my family, especially my mother.

Maybe you can apply for a scholarship for university or get a part time job

I'm back. I'm trying to get into UTI but it's gonna be hard to pass. Got thrown into a psych ward and came out worse than before.

 

[Remorse Code]

I'm back. I'm trying to get into UTI but it's gonna be hard to pass. Got thrown into a psych ward and came out worse than before.

glad to see you back.