Triggered

[livingded]

I volunteer at the nursing home usually once a week to keep me active. I like it, but today I felt triggered in it. Usually the group I help is "painting coloring together" but today they changed and did activities to stimulate the mind (like maths, writing letters, crosswords). And I remembered that we used to do the same when I was in the psych ward. I felt a huge sadness. So now Im triggered.
And then I remembered this patient...he was on "house arrest" (he did crimes but was put in the ward for mental illnesses) but we bonded..even tho he was like an elder. His face and teeth ruined by the drugs, tattoos that he did in prison. He teached me things like hand language that he learned in prison xD But he was like an elder. Unable to speak, falling asleep evne outside of his room. Now those elders made me think of him. I wonder if he's still there (probably) and I want to go and see him but I dont know.

 

[Susannah]

Wow, I'm sorry you got triggered. It took me 3y to handle all the side effects from the psyc ward. I admire you for your volountary effort. I still have huge problems with all kinds of hospitals.

Try to think about theese triggers as therapy, for yourself, for you to put the psyc ward behind you. I met a lot of wonderful people when I was "thrown in psyc jail", and they helped me much more than the therapists did. I often think of them with love. And I hope they're fine now. Stay focused and strong. You can overcome this.

LoveS