tried to get help ngl

[Bernie__]

tried to get help for CPTSD and Depression but therapy and all the assessments just made me realize how much broken my life is, now I can't stop trying to find ways to kill myself, these therapists and doctors have literally caused this, forced me to remember and respond to details questions for when I got rapped then expected me to get better, now I don't really see any other choice but suicide, I'm 19 can't pass a drivers test, can't leave my room, have 0 relationships with anyone including my own family, so idk what's the point, can't stop remembering all these memories and flashbacks and nightmares just wish I had a way to killmyself ngl, tried to slit my wrists but it just made me fall asleep for a couple hours and the bleeding stopped it's self so I can't even kill myself right.

 

[UKscotty]

Maybe try the recovery thread if you want to get better?

Good luck in whatever you decide.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm so sorry for what you have gone through. It's kind of frightening that therapy could actually make things worse but I can see how it could happen. A neighbour of mine used to be really in to psychoanalysis. I'm no expert but from what he said, it was a lot of going over and over traumatic, painful memories and paying shit loads for the privelage.

Not to say it's wrong to talk about problems of course. I don't know though. I'm not convinced how beneficial it is to keep raking over painful events. I'm so sorry it has made things worse for you.

 

[CloudyNightSky]

It's really hard to go by slitting your wrists so don't feel too bad for it, but gonna be honest can't see the reason to exist too rn. And yeah I have some trauma, but overall I still should have some reason to live. Friends etc. but still feel like decaying every second I live. The only thing that makes me truly happy is when I get one step closer to killing myself. Like when my Sn arrived or I found useful information. It's almost euphoric. At these times I feel so good it's incredible, but when it comes to therapy, if you're not happy with your current one, please look for another one. And start forming a friendship with just one person. Idk look around at work? Idk if you're working or somewhere else. One is enough and hopefully that person can kinda introduce you to more ppl.
I don't even know what I'm talking about. You probably already thought about that, but its the only thing I can think about rn if you wanna recover.

 

[Bernie__]

It's really hard to go by slitting your wrists so don't feel too bad for it, but gonna be honest can't see the reason to exist too rn. And yeah I have some trauma, but overall I still should have some reason to live. Friends etc. but still feel like decaying every second I live. The only thing that makes me truly happy is when I get one step closer to killing myself. Like when my Sn arrived or I found useful information. It's almost euphoric. At these times I feel so good it's incredible, but when it comes to therapy, if you're not happy with your current one, please look for another one. And start forming a friendship with just one person. Idk look around at work? Idk if you're working or somewhere else. One is enough and hopefully that person can kinda introduce you to more ppl.
I don't even know what I'm talking about. You probably already thought about that, but its the only thing I can think about rn if you wanna recover.

What is SN is it like a drug or smthn?

 

[CloudyNightSky]

What is SN is it like a drug or smthn?

Basically it's a poisonous salt, wich you dissolve in water and then drink it. A suicide method. Sn stands for sodium nitrite you can look it up if u wanna