tomz323
Walking to the bus stop
- Mar 29, 2019
- 367
-
Hey Guest,
If you would still like to donate, you still can. We have more than enough funds to cover operating expenses for quite a while, so don't worry about donating if you aren't able. If you want to donate something other than what is listed, you can contact RainAndSadness.
Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt
Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVS
DD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
Temporarilyabsurd
NOISE:signal
- Apr 27, 2018
- 438
Stopped booze four years ago ? a few back slides but I'm not on AA so I don't rock that back to zero stufff.
It made it worse for a year or two , and it has started to improve . ( reaally ? well I guess )
I realized this year that I had the DT's ( Detoxings ? ) for a few years ... extra neurotic and paranoid.
Made some seriously bad decisions during that time ,
Quit ciggies with Alan Carrs easy way audio book ( 3rd or 4th time .. and umpteenth in total after 37 fucking years )
That was the big one .
Cigarettes perpetually make you feel needy as fuck and miserable and reinforce low self esteem ( Alan Carr opinion that I buy into ).
I'm less actively suicidal , just see it as inevitable destination .
Still junk out on palm oil infused SUGAR chocolate ... antichrist treats .
It has helped a lot .
Started to meditate ... really have to do that because that led to the latest ciggie stop .
It made it worse for a year or two , and it has started to improve . ( reaally ? well I guess )
I realized this year that I had the DT's ( Detoxings ? ) for a few years ... extra neurotic and paranoid.
Made some seriously bad decisions during that time ,
Quit ciggies with Alan Carrs easy way audio book ( 3rd or 4th time .. and umpteenth in total after 37 fucking years )
That was the big one .
Cigarettes perpetually make you feel needy as fuck and miserable and reinforce low self esteem ( Alan Carr opinion that I buy into ).
I'm less actively suicidal , just see it as inevitable destination .
Still junk out on palm oil infused SUGAR chocolate ... antichrist treats .
It has helped a lot .
Started to meditate ... really have to do that because that led to the latest ciggie stop .
Last edited:
Tortured_empath
Arcanist
- Apr 7, 2019
- 463
For me I think it works the other way around. It's my mental issues that makes me turn to addiction in the first place. I think it's called "emotional relapse". I only use it because those brief dopamine spikes are the best way to escape from my head sometimes.
Or maybe that's just something I tell myself because I don't have the willpower to quit... I'm not sure.
Or maybe that's just something I tell myself because I don't have the willpower to quit... I'm not sure.
Last edited:
have to say, I wasnt suicidal years ago when I stopped drinking booze for 14 months - but it definitely helped me get my life together.
I think booze causes the person to stagnate, it shortens the time frame inside of which one is functioning,
one lives so he can drink, reward himself, instead of living for a better future. I've read that suicide and alcohol abuse
are highly corelated... anyways, good luck
I think booze causes the person to stagnate, it shortens the time frame inside of which one is functioning,
one lives so he can drink, reward himself, instead of living for a better future. I've read that suicide and alcohol abuse
are highly corelated... anyways, good luck
Kringle's Curse
Member
- May 1, 2019
- 94
I drink to bury my feelings, and when I'm not drinking I'm constantly thinking about hanging myself. Just hope I find the courage to ctb soon..
I quit adderall which is similar to meth. I think I'm slightly more mentally stable at 3 months sober. I'm very unhappy in life though and now that I have feelings again it's torture. I wouldn't say I'm doing better. Now the full gravity of how terrible my life is hits me a lot harder. Yesterday I almost looked for adderall. I find myself crying and feeling lots of grief and pain over my abortions in my 20's.
I get mad at myself for not understanding how careful I needed to be with men and my sexuality. I mean not to hook up with the wrong ones or u end up feeling pressure to abort or ending up a single mother. Avoid risky sex unless u are with someone who is ok with u getting pregnant and is able to provide in the event that u do.
In my 20's I thought this would be the last thing I regret in my 40's. I figured it was probably better to abort than being in poverty or having fatherless kids. While I was correct on trying to avoid disadvantaging my would be kids, adoption would have been much healthier for me. I could have one day met my kid or kids.
I completely went off the topic I'm sorry lol! I still sometimes touch marijuana but I need to avoid it now because under legalization they destroyed the quality and I get more negative effects. If I had adderall on hand I would most certainly relapse because I'm so miserable. I don't see any happy future.
I get mad at myself for not understanding how careful I needed to be with men and my sexuality. I mean not to hook up with the wrong ones or u end up feeling pressure to abort or ending up a single mother. Avoid risky sex unless u are with someone who is ok with u getting pregnant and is able to provide in the event that u do.
In my 20's I thought this would be the last thing I regret in my 40's. I figured it was probably better to abort than being in poverty or having fatherless kids. While I was correct on trying to avoid disadvantaging my would be kids, adoption would have been much healthier for me. I could have one day met my kid or kids.
I completely went off the topic I'm sorry lol! I still sometimes touch marijuana but I need to avoid it now because under legalization they destroyed the quality and I get more negative effects. If I had adderall on hand I would most certainly relapse because I'm so miserable. I don't see any happy future.
Last edited:
DepressionsAHo
Heaven gained a new ho
- Feb 15, 2019
- 831
Fuuuuuuuuuuuucccckkkk that lmaooo
You think I'm about to face this shit show sober. I need my things just to pass by life
You think I'm about to face this shit show sober. I need my things just to pass by life
EddieAllenPoe
Specialist
- Mar 19, 2019
- 304
I think for about 6 months in a row I was on a sinking ship where I consumed about 5 liters of wine a day. My desire to CTB was growing by the day. I made myself go to AA a few times but I was failing to show up. Fortunately, I got myself into a situation where I'm no longer drinking. With sobriety I actually got clearer about how to CTB. I learned better ways to actually do it. But the funny thing is that my desire to CTB has gone down ever since I quit drinking. Go figure, huh? Turns out substance abuse makes you want to die.
Similar threads
Suicide Discussion
Praestat_Mori
