Venting tried again, failed again

[RobinWhoLostItAll]

ive tried so many times i tried again todat i cant do it i just cant i hate it, i have nothing to cling onto but i still cant go through with it i just wish dying wasnt so hard fuck i hate myself i hate this all i hate the situation i was born into, the body i was born in, everything sucks now and all the future has to offer is getting my antidepressants dose up because im still a broken mess of a person

so, for context, my method is hanging, and by tying the rope to a beam in my room i have enough room to hang with my toes touching the ground, just enough so that i can climb back up on my bed and not die, so thats what happens every time i try, and today i tried again during one of my breakdowns and i just couldnt do it, i feel like shit, and now i feel worse, i hate this

 

[FuneralCry]

I also hate how it's so unnecessarily difficult to cease existing, it's horrible how we cannot just choose die in peace, for me it'd be such a relief if the option is there to never wake again. But anyway best wishes.

 

[RobinWhoLostItAll]

I also hate how it's so unnecessarily difficult to cease existing, it's horrible how we cannot just choose die in peace, for me it'd be such a relief if the option is there to never wake again. But anyway best wishes.

its almost comedic how cruel this all is, at some point i managed to make myself believe that this whole world must be some sort of entertainment for higher beings, it just doesnt make sense that its this sick and cruel for no reason, i snapped out of my delusions a little while ago, explanations stopped mattering when everything else stopped mattering

 

[Yaffle]

Can you somehow prevent getting your feet on the bed or move the bed, tip on its side etc?

 

[RobinWhoLostItAll]

Can you somehow prevent getting your feet on the bed or move the bed, tip on its side etc?

my room is tiny, i was thinking of using a very tall stool we have next attempt, instead of the small one im using, but i cant until im home alone sadly

 

[Yaffle]

my room is tiny, i was thinking of using a very tall stool we have next attempt, instead of the small one im using, but i cant until im home alone sadly

You'll find a way when the time is truly right for you.

 

[RobinWhoLostItAll]

You'll find a way when the time is truly right for you.

im at a point in my life where it feels more right than ever before, i just gotta make one little push

 

[King Ashoka]

My method is also full hanging. I don't know what i will do on that day.

 

[RobinWhoLostItAll]

My method is also full hanging. I don't know what i will do on that day.

SI is horrible, i plan on drinking (moderately this time) whenever i make my attempt, hope you can find peace before and after yours

 

[King Ashoka]

SI is horrible, i plan on drinking (moderately this time) whenever i make my attempt, hope you can find peace before and after yours

I don't drink alcohol. I drink tea too much. I maybe intoxicated with tea.