Tricky spot

[Wantingpeace]

I'm so stressed out as a close family member emigrates in two weeks. It is rather sudden as he was initially leaving in a month,

I'm totally tortured physically and mentally and feel I have to die every minute and has gotten worse but only seriously researched doing this recently. So now I feel pressure to ctb before he leaves or doing it after he goes. I feel so stuck. It will be horrific to have to come back a 36 hour flight alone to bad news after just starting a new life. but i dont feel will manage to keep going much longer to even let them get settled into new life first.

So the option is nembutal which I'm looking to order as I don't feel can do anythung ekse as I also have severe terror of death. Or sodium nitrite which I could do before he goes but I'm worried would be conscious too long would raise alarm and would be in worse condition.

It is terrible pressure to kill self with torture but with fear of death and pressure to stay alive to not muck up for this family member. Just do not know what to do. All other methods ruled out due to terror and cognitive problems.

 

[Trashcan]

That is rough. N might be a good idea if you can get past the bad taste because it's so quick.

 

[Wantingpeace]

Yes the

That is rough. N might be a good idea if you can get past the bad taste because it's so quick.

Yes trying to get it but it wont be here in time before he emigrates.

Yes the trouble though is when..whenever I feel I "have to" stay alive it increases the distress. Will be so rough on family. Mine will be third death of close family member for my father this year. I just do not want to muck up for other family member just starting new job and emigrated but i cant see how much longer to hold on.

 

[Trashcan]

Yes the


Yes trying to get it but it wont be here in time before he emigrates.

Yes the trouble though is when..whenever I feel I "have to" stay alive it increases the distress. Will be so rough on family. Mine will be third death of close family member for my father this year. I just do not want to muck up for other family member just starting new job and emigrated but i cant see how much longer to hold on.

I'm sorry that is all happening. :( It's not easy to figure out exactly what to do and hopefully whatever method you choose, it all works out in the end.

 

[Wantingpeace]

I'm sorry that is all happening. :( It's not easy to figure out exactly what to do and hopefully whatever method you choose, it all works out in the end.

Thank you I'm just worried for family member

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

you should mentioned this in your suicide letter

 

[Wantingpeace]

W

you should mentioned this in your suicide letter

mention what?

 

[Wantingpeace]

So they start therir new life but then you make them fly 36hrs back for your funeral caused by them going away?
Come off it. Ruin your own life however you want but that seems extremely mean to do to someone.

You don't understand the conditon I'm in. I'm extremely upset and distressed, can't you not tell from my post it is last thing I want to do but i cant see how to hold on. My life was ruined for me. I have excruaciting progressive neurotoxicty.

 

[Wantingpeace]

So they start therir new life but then you make them fly 36hrs back for your funeral caused by them going away?
Come off it. Ruin your own life however you want but that seems extremely mean to do to someone.

You thinking am dying because the person Is leaving??? No

 

[Wantingpeace]

I'm going to have to attmept sodium before he goes is other option

 

[Wantingpeace]

I'm going to have to attmept sodium before he goes is other option

But i cannot see how without raising alarm the terror of death is really bad.

 

[weedoge]

So they start their new life but then you make them fly 36hrs back for your funeral caused by them going away?
Come off it. Ruin your own life however you want but that seems extremely mean to do to someone.

I disagree with this. Killing yourself will probably affect somebody for life regardless of when or where you do it. I'm not happy that my mum will come home from a holiday to find me but it makes it more convenient than having to sneak around while she's home.

Took me a long time to mentally process it but she has lost other people and I think shell get through it in the long term, and even if she doesn't that's sad but I'm not living my shit life for somebody else just as I'm not taking it for somebody else.

 

[DeathBecomesMe]

But i cannot see how without raising alarm the terror of death is really bad.

Hi Wanting, can you maybe get some benzos to help you relax so that you don't feel the terror of death so much?

Nembutal will be the best way, but it won't arrive in time. Maybe you can write a note to say that you don't want to have a funeral and that your relative must not come back after you die. That way you don't have to rush it.

 

[Wantingpeace]

Hi Wanting, can you maybe get some benzos to help you relax so that you don't feel the terror of death so much?

Nembutal will be the best way, but it won't arrive in time. Maybe you can write a note to say that you don't want to have a funeral and that your relative must not come back after you die. That way you don't have to rush it.

I don't think benzos will be enough as the bad near death experience Is just terrifying.

It's my brother so I could write that but i doubt he wouldnt want to come back.

Just don't know can't hold on much longer.