Traumatized from involuntary hold

[Hecubaa]

Over a month ago I was drunk and stupid and sent a friend a suicide letter while also telling them I took 60 pills of hydroxyzine. I was, obviously, an absolute idiot for telling them that. I was mildly drunk and somewhat psychotic. It's a bad habit I have -- convincing myself that I will die in my sleep as a way to get myself to go to sleep. I know I shouldn't have shared that with someone else. My friend panicked and talked to their parents and another friend of mine about it and they all decided to get a "wellness check" on me. It all resulted in me being taken to a hospital without my consent. I woke up 3 hours after taking the hydroxy (which was more like 40, not 60 pills) and texted my ex partner who lives with me and they told me they were on their way home. Then I heard a knock at the door and thought my ex forgot their keys so I opened the door butt naked and saw fucking cops. I froze for a few seconds and then went back in and put some clothes on. I really regret not running away through my back yard when I had the chance. Anyway, I opened the door for them again and they came in, saw the bottles of booze (some were old because my ADHD ass is bad at cleaning) and also the bottle of hydroxy and called the ambulance on me. They also said my speech was slurred which is kinda xenophobic because I'm a non-native English speaker who have immigrated relatively recently -- my accent, especially shortly after I wake up, doesn't mean my speech is slurred. They didn't let me take my service dog with me either. I was on an involuntary hold for 12 hours until they finally let me talk to a psychologist who said I'm fine to go home. Throughout that whole time, I was treated like shit. I was told I am lucky I survived by nurses (hello, look up LD50 for hydroxy, even mixed with alcohol, and then talk to me.) I was treated like a completely crazy person. I wasn't allowed a charger for my phone (because yeah, sure, an iPhone charger is long enough to hang yourself, wtf?) I was transferred to a shared room with people who talked to God or acted weird in other ways. Anyway, now I have a huge hospital bill to pay and I feel bad asking the people who called the ambulance on me (I already told them we are no longer friends) to pay for it but I also get notifications about it all the time and I can't afford it. I want to recover and I feel like this is pulling me back. Just needed to share. Thank you for reading this <3

 

[Hvergelmir]

I'm sure it was a horrible experience and I don't want to add to that, but you're not being fair.

If a friend calls, drunk and psychotic, claiming that they'll kill themselves and already have overdosed of pills, what do you think is an appropriate action to take?
Police and nurses have to prioritize safety, until the situation is evaluated. They don't know what's going on, they routinely have to deal with some truly deranged people, and they don't know who you are.

You'll end up very lonely if you hold others accountable for things like this. I think you owe your friends an apology.

 

[dontwakemeup]

Over a month ago I was drunk and stupid and sent a friend a suicide letter while also telling them I took 60 pills of hydroxyzine. I was, obviously, an absolute idiot for telling them that. I was mildly drunk and somewhat psychotic. It's a bad habit I have -- convincing myself that I will die in my sleep as a way to get myself to go to sleep. I know I shouldn't have shared that with someone else. My friend panicked and talked to their parents and another friend of mine about it and they all decided to get a "wellness check" on me. It all resulted in me being taken to a hospital without my consent. I woke up 3 hours after taking the hydroxy (which was more like 40, not 60 pills) and texted my ex partner who lives with me and they told me they were on their way home. Then I heard a knock at the door and thought my ex forgot their keys so I opened the door butt naked and saw fucking cops. I froze for a few seconds and then went back in and put some clothes on. I really regret not running away through my back yard when I had the chance. Anyway, I opened the door for them again and they came in, saw the bottles of booze (some were old because my ADHD ass is bad at cleaning) and also the bottle of hydroxy and called the ambulance on me. They also said my speech was slurred which is kinda xenophobic because I'm a non-native English speaker who have immigrated relatively recently -- my accent, especially shortly after I wake up, doesn't mean my speech is slurred. They didn't let me take my service dog with me either. I was on an involuntary hold for 12 hours until they finally let me talk to a psychologist who said I'm fine to go home. Throughout that whole time, I was treated like shit. I was told I am lucky I survived by nurses (hello, look up LD50 for hydroxy, even mixed with alcohol, and then talk to me.) I was treated like a completely crazy person. I wasn't allowed a charger for my phone (because yeah, sure, an iPhone charger is long enough to hang yourself, wtf?) I was transferred to a shared room with people who talked to God or acted weird in other ways. Anyway, now I have a huge hospital bill to pay and I feel bad asking the people who called the ambulance on me (I already told them we are no longer friends) to pay for it but I also get notifications about it all the time and I can't afford it. I want to recover and I feel like this is pulling me back. Just needed to share. Thank you for reading this <3

I completely agree with you for letting your friends go! My friends helped get me admitted on a psych hold and I felt so violated and lonely. I had to let them go because they broke my trust, so now all I do is cry...alone. I understand the reason why people would call but you ultimately can't stop someone's from attempting. If our friends really loved us they should already know our reasons as why we don't want to go on! It's selfish, I personally would never stop anyone! I definitely understand your pain. I'm sorry