Water-Lily
Enlightened
- Dec 26, 2020
- 1,182
I watched an episode of 911 with my brother. This was a few months ago. There was one episode where an individual has an opportunity to be rescued from a roller coaster accident. The officer told them to grab his arm and he would be rescued. However, he felt like a failure. Consumed by his own depression, he let go and fell to his death. And indirect suicide.
His family grieved the loss of their family member before coming to the conclusion that "some people don't want to be helped"
I think this is true in many ways. I do voluntarily go to therapy to discuss my traumas and learn better ways to heal, understand, and grow from them. Yet especially when you are in a traumatic environment, this is challenging to do. From my mom's abuse and school bullying, to sexual assault I experienced in college, I cannot say I have been blessed with a "good" life. There are times where the traumas and flashbacks of the many individuals who hurt me re surface, only for it to kick start my desire to die
I understand it is a controversial motive to discuss here, but I do think about revenge suicide often. Of course, if I am dead that I won't be around to see the impact of such "revenge". But I don't want to get my "revenge" by living. Living is at times hard. I just want to die and get it over with most days.
What a sad life I have lived
His family grieved the loss of their family member before coming to the conclusion that "some people don't want to be helped"
I think this is true in many ways. I do voluntarily go to therapy to discuss my traumas and learn better ways to heal, understand, and grow from them. Yet especially when you are in a traumatic environment, this is challenging to do. From my mom's abuse and school bullying, to sexual assault I experienced in college, I cannot say I have been blessed with a "good" life. There are times where the traumas and flashbacks of the many individuals who hurt me re surface, only for it to kick start my desire to die
I understand it is a controversial motive to discuss here, but I do think about revenge suicide often. Of course, if I am dead that I won't be around to see the impact of such "revenge". But I don't want to get my "revenge" by living. Living is at times hard. I just want to die and get it over with most days.
What a sad life I have lived
