trauma dumping

[hyacinths]

holy shit do you guys ever just completely trauma dump on someone after they share a similar experience? i have no idea how to relate/comfort people unless i share experiences, to let them know that they're not alone and i share in yet it often turns to me trauma dumping on them instead. i think maybe i'm a super manipulative person without meaning to be. fuck i literally just want to jump off a bridge sometimes when i think about how often i do this shit

 

[Circles]

Or just when you finally get some human interaction and you want to dump all your problems and dark thoughts on them cause you can't hold it all in anymore due to all aching loneliness. Then you realize you have to keep up appearances and be fake just so you don't run anybody off.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

I used to be worse about it. I feel like I'm not as "worked up" about it anymore, but damn. Yeah trauma dumping used to be an issue for me. Was craving connection, validation, etc.

Or just when you finally get some human interaction and you want to dump all your problems and dark thoughts on them cause you can't hold it all in anymore due to all aching loneliness. Then you realize you have to keep up appearances and be fake just so you don't run anybody off.

Yes, that aching and consuming loneliness. It's awful, man

 

[MeltedJello]

holy shit do you guys ever just completely trauma dump on someone after they share a similar experience? i have no idea how to relate/comfort people unless i share experiences, to let them know that they're not alone and i share in yet it often turns to me trauma dumping on them instead. i think maybe i'm a super manipulative person without meaning to be. fuck i literally just want to jump off a bridge sometimes when i think about how often i do this shit

I feel the same way when I post sometimes. I wish I could just give them an irl hug, instead of sharing problems they may not have the energy to care about. Don't beat yourself up too much, as I think this is pretty common. We all just need a hug or something.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

It makes total sense if you're in pain and the other person is too. You can't say anything to comfort them because you're experiencing something similar. So you contribute your own story in order to relate and find some common ground. Totally normal if you ask me.

 

[restforeternity]

I'm horrible with that especially when they curiously ask what, when, where, why, how.

 

[deflationary]

i have no idea how to relate/comfort people unless i share experiences, to let them know that they're not alone and i share in yet it often turns to me trauma dumping on them instead.

If it's done in the spirit of empathizing with the other person, I think its totally fine. I'd rather share stories of shitty experiences with someone than be buried under a mound of toxic, fingers-in-ears positivity. Just ask questions about their situation as well and it's perfectly fine.

 

[motel rooms]

especially when they curiously ask what, when, where, why, how.

People can be insensitive creeps. My childhood is not a gore video that I'm willing to play for just anybody. Fuck you & your morbid curiosity, why the hell do you wanna know exactly how I was molested?

 

[OrcWitch]

I used to idk. I will depending on the context. Like if we are just casually discussing molestation and domestic violence as these matter of fact things, I'll relate my story. If someone is actively in pain and needing to express their trauma I just try to listen and make them feel heard/supported. There have been times I probably should have been a supportive listener but selfishly chose to dump my trauma instead.

Often times people just need their pain acknowledged and dont need to hear me compare or give advice. I wish I understood that when I was younger. I still struggle with being self centered but Im getting better at this.

I dont think you're manipulative for doing that. Youre just traumatized, it really makes these situations difficult. You should go easier on yourself for this behavior.

 

[ReallyTired]

Or just when you finally get some human interaction and you want to dump all your problems and dark thoughts on them cause you can't hold it all in anymore due to all aching loneliness. Then you realize you have to keep up appearances and be fake just so you don't run anybody off.

I used to do it as well. I've only realized it recently, I wasn't really aware of it. Having Asperges and clinical depression at the same time feels like a curse. This world can be a really lonely place without any meaningful human connections.

 

[myopybyproxy]

old thread but holy shit i did not ask to be called out like this smh