Help Toxic postivism

[theboy]

I apologize if this doesn't go in the correct "Help" thread. Consider it as this can help learn and stop the stigmas that still circulate in our society

"Don't worry" "don't be sad" "just think positive" "you have to have good vibes" "there are many people who are worse off than you, you shouldn't be sad"

These are some phrases that people often repeat to comfort someone.
These phrases invalidate emotions and place emotional pressure on people who need help. It is important to differentiate toxic positivity from being a positive person. Being optimistic is seeing the best side of things and the learning that each experience we go through leaves us. A positive attitude, willing to manage emotions and learn from situations, can improve our well-being

I wanted to share this topic with you.
Thank you for reading!

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that phrases like that are really invalidating. Telling someone to just think positive won't take away any of the very real suffering that exists in the world. The fact that others have it worse doesn't mean that we don't suffer. Having negative thoughts and feelings can be perfectly rational and people are delusional if they think that all problems can be helped just by saying positive phrases. Those types of people simply don't understand as they are not in a similar situation. They would be feeling differently if they were in the same situation as the person suffering.

 

[SexyIncél]

Toxic positivity's a last resort for the desperate: life sucks, so perceive it as good

Another last resort is what we discuss: life sucks, so stop perceiving it

Two camps in conflict with one another

 

[hamvil]

It is their way of saying: "your situation is too much for me, please figure it out". My father keeps telling me that I should just forget what happened because it is the past and move forward. I should not cry either or voice my pain. My wife usual answer is that "there are people in worse conditions" meh

I found this forum refreshing, for the first time I do not get such crap and people show some form of compassion for what I feel.

 

[Marktheghost]

It is their way of saying: "your situation is too much for me, please figure it out". My father keeps telling me that I should just forget what happened because it is the past and move forward.

Yeah, just ignore the problem and move on. It's like telling somebody that breaks their leg halfway up Mount Everest to just move on! How can I move on when the problem I'm trying to get help with is exactly what's holding me back, and nobody's willing to help me?!

 

[Hollowillow]

I apologize if this doesn't go in the correct "Help" thread. Consider it as this can help learn and stop the stigmas that still circulate in our society

"Don't worry" "don't be sad" "just think positive" "you have to have good vibes" "there are many people who are worse off than you, you shouldn't be sad"

These are some phrases that people often repeat to comfort someone.
These phrases invalidate emotions and place emotional pressure on people who need help. It is important to differentiate toxic positivity from being a positive person. Being optimistic is seeing the best side of things and the learning that each experience we go through leaves us. A positive attitude, willing to manage emotions and learn from situations, can improve our well-being

I wanted to share this topic with you.
Thank you for reading!

So true!!! I don't want to go out of my toxic home that is making me feel AGONY because people demand me to be positive at all times. Got banned from support groups, lost friends... Git invited but told for 30 minuted to not say anything negative... Not mention my home problems... Not call for help... But any question they coukd ask about family, job, how are you... Is freaking dark .. not because I want to... But because this is my reality, my life, who I am.

And i was never good enough at my best. So now it's pointless to try. I don't have the energy.

At the psychiatric hospital employees refused to talk with us, while we cried or slept they laughed max loud... Like evil clowns. I wanted to scream & hit them. A crying girl screamed crying that she waited all day to speak with them, they injected sedation by force & locked her up.

I fucking hate positive people. Even my humor us dark because that's my reality...

I like you... Very much... I hope you don't hate me with disgust or are not completely indifferent ..

Yeah, just ignore the problem and move on. It's like telling somebody that breaks their leg halfway up Mount Everest to just move on! How can I move on when the problem I'm trying to get help with is exactly what's holding me back, and nobody's willing to help me?!

THIS

I think that phrases like that are really invalidating. Telling someone to just think positive won't take away any of the very real suffering that exists in the world. The fact that others have it worse doesn't mean that we don't suffer. Having negative thoughts and feelings can be perfectly rational and people are delusional if they think that all problems can be helped just by saying positive phrases. Those types of people simply don't understand as they are not in a similar situation. They would be feeling differently if they were in the same situation as the person suffering.

If they were in our situation they'd be in denial of pain with booze, drugs, antidepressants.

Every time I see your avatar it soothes me. I recognize you. Like a friend?

 

[Astral Storm]

My family keeps saying these phrases too. That I should be happy because others have it worse and that I shouldn't think about negative or sad things. It's so invalidating and an utter disrespect to my feelings and pain.

So sad that this is the behaviour of most people. There's no compassion or understanding in it at all. They just don't want to do listen to it because it would be too uncomfortable to them.