Venting Toxic positivity towards existence just makes me wish for the peace of death even more

[FuneralCry]

I cannot stand toxic positivity towards existence, it's truly so terrible and insulting. And it's depressing how it's everywhere, nowhere offers a safe space from the delusions of anti-suicide people who invalidate how hellish existence truly is and insist that those who prefer the true peace of non-existence over suffering so senselessly are "ill". No matter what existence itself will always be the true problem and that is why I only wish for the permanent absence of it, I don't belong in this cruel and repulsive world. The fact that life exists truly is the most horrific tragedy that has caused endless amounts of suffering and harm which is why it really disgusts me how this reality gets dismissed.

Positivity really is just toxicity and all that anti-suicide people ever do is cause others to suffer way more, to have the ability to exist truly is an abomination that only death can bring relief from. I see no point or value to suffering in this hopeless, futile existence, life really never should have existed at all and I wish I stayed permanently unaware of the evil that is existence.
To be conscious and aware capable of feeling such immense pain and being tormented so immensley is a tragedy, existence itself will always be evil as it's the source of all suffering, it's the ultimate cause of all that harms existing beings.