Help Totally overwhelmed

[BipolarGuy]

I feel completely and utterly overwhelmed.
I don't 'just' mean that I feel very depressed!

It has got to the point where I feel like I'm constantly experiencing sensory overload. I cannot, for instance, concentrate on reading/typing on here while listening to music.

I also feel as though I'm in constant cognitive overload, and have no capacity. For instance I was messaging someone the other day on here, and for the life of me I just cannot remember who it was. Even looking through the list of PM's doesn't help.

Time also seems to be flying by, without me even realising it, to the point where it's just unbelievable!
A couple of weeks ago I went to message a friend on Facebook who I had been meaning to reply to for some time. I knew I hadn't replied to their message for a while, but when I came to open the chat and looked at the dates of the messages, it had been over a year since a message had been exchanged between us!
Just a few days ago I opened another Facebook chat on another conversation, and a conversation I thought had maybe happened a week ago had in fact taken place about a month ago!

I just don't understand what's happening to me :( and I am actually quite scared that I am falling apart mentally other than just being very depressed.
Then again maybe these are extreme symptoms of depression.

 

[ropebunny]

All of this is sadly relatable for me, lol.

 

[RealHumanBean]

I can definitely concur that short-term memory loss and time passing in a blur are indeed symptoms of depression. Or anxiety, or both. I don't have any good ideas on how to handle it, but at the very least i can empathize and let you know you're not crazy. The days just kind of meld together when there's nothing interesting to look forward to or differentiate them. I'm sorry

 

[BipolarGuy]

I can definitely concur that short-term memory loss and time passing in a blur are indeed symptoms of depression. Or anxiety, or both. I don't have any good ideas on how to handle it, but at the very least i can empathize and let you know you're not crazy. The days just kind of meld together when there's nothing interesting to look forward to or differentiate them. I'm sorry

I've experienced the days feeling as though they're melting together before, and then loosing track of time in the sense that I need to remind myself what day it is.
This might happen on a long holiday, for example.

But it's like my perception of time is warped. Like so much time passes, but I'm literally only aware of a tiny fraction of it passing.
As I said, an example of this would be how I went to reply to a friend on Facebook messenger only to discover that the last message sent between us was more than a year ago!
This is just not normal.

I've definitely felt very low in my mood before now, but I'm questioning if I'm even stable at this point. I'm just not feeling right.
My memory, perception of time, etc, all completely off.

I definitely plan to go ahead with this.
I don't even know if I'll get around to sorting everything out that I had planned to before I do it.

 

[tidalwxves]

I feel completely and utterly overwhelmed.
I don't 'just' mean that I feel very depressed!

It has got to the point where I feel like I'm constantly experiencing sensory overload. I cannot, for instance, concentrate on reading/typing on here while listening to music.

I also feel as though I'm in constant cognitive overload, and have no capacity. For instance I was messaging someone the other day on here, and for the life of me I just cannot remember who it was. Even looking through the list of PM's doesn't help.

Time also seems to be flying by, without me even realising it, to the point where it's just unbelievable!
A couple of weeks ago I went to message a friend on Facebook who I had been meaning to reply to for some time. I knew I hadn't replied to their message for a while, but when I came to open the chat and looked at the dates of the messages, it had been over a year since a message had been exchanged between us!
Just a few days ago I opened another Facebook chat on another conversation, and a conversation I thought had maybe happened a week ago had in fact taken place about a month ago!

I just don't understand what's happening to me :( and I am actually quite scared that I am falling apart mentally other than just being very depressed.
Then again maybe these are extreme symptoms of depression.

Setting up a routine should help with the time portion, do you live alone? If not pushing for more interaction with the people you live with can help as well. Sorry its been such a struggle for you

 

[Wayfaerer]

Yes, I do. I can't even function normally it's basically impossible.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

It is horrible when you reach a point where you feel like life is hitting you at a pace that makes it impossible for you to stand up and face it. I feel this way currently. It's like the world is closing in and crushing me.

 

[BipolarGuy]

It is horrible when you reach a point where you feel like life is hitting you at a pace that makes it impossible for you to stand up and face it. I feel this way currently. It's like the world is closing in and crushing me.

You have articulated it rather well.

I feel as though the universe is pushing me towards ending my life.
I don't mean in some psychotic sense; I don't actually believe 'the universe' is plotting against me.
But the sequence of things that have happened over more than a decade that has culminated in me feeling this way is just unbelievable.
Some of the things that have happened are "that sort of thing doesn't happen" type stuff.

God I'm ready :(

 

[Chupacabra 44]

I see your user name and I hate to make assumptions, but here goes......I have bipolar disorder. The best psychiatrist I ever saw told me these things. First, she believed circadian rhythms were the key to stability for bipolar disorder. After not complying (like many with bipolar I tend to fight against structure), I finally capitulated and I am 100% on board with this. It helps keep me balanced more than anything. How are your circadian rhythms? Most importantly do you have a sleep schedule. I'm like a two year old with my sleep schedule, but it works for me.

Next, she highly recommended mindfulness and meditation both work great for me. Do you practice both these?

Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to compare notes.

 

[BipolarGuy]

I see your user name and I hate to make assumptions, but here goes......I have bipolar disorder. The best psychiatrist I ever saw told me these things. First, she believed circadian rhythms were the key to stability for bipolar disorder. After not complying (like many with bipolar I tend to fight against structure), I finally capitulated and I am 100% on board with this. It helps keep me balanced more than anything. How are your circadian rhythms? Most importantly do you have a sleep schedule. I'm like a two year old with my sleep schedule, but it works for me.

Next, she highly recommended mindfulness and meditation both work great for me. Do you practice both these?

Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to compare notes.

It's ok, you are not making an assumption at all.
We have already talked on another thread, on which I confirmed that I have bipolar.

A healthy sleep pattern definitely helps, and this is something I'm struggling with at the moment.

I'm not entirely sure what is meant by "mindfulness", but no I do not meditate.
Do you find that doing so helps?

 

[Chupacabra 44]

I was 99% sure we talked about it but I'm exhausted right now.

I had no idea what mindfullness was before. When you are feeling better Google to learn about mindfulness. It's really proven effective at keeping my mania at bay. I'm kind of teetering into hypomania all week. I'm not sleeping well. A huge red flag for me. I've taking my Zyprex all week.

I went out yesterday and bought a new phone and a tablet because I'm triggered.

Fyi, I'm forgetting what day of the week it is right now. A symptom of little sleep. So my memory is messed up.

 

[BipolarGuy]

I was 99% sure we talked about it but I'm exhausted right now.

I had no idea what mindfullness was before. When you are feeling better Google to learn about mindfulness. It's really proven effective at keeping my mania at bay. I'm kind of teetering into hypomania all week. I'm not sleeping well. A huge red flag for me. I've taking my Zyprex all week.

I went out yesterday and bought a new phone and a tablet because I'm triggered.

Fyi, I'm forgetting what day of the week it is right now. A symptom of little sleep. So my memory is messed up.

Olanzapine helped me quite a bit actually.
Watch your appetite though!

How are you finding it so far?

You went out and bought a new phone and tablet because you're 'hypo-manic'?

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Olanzapine helped me quite a bit actually.
Watch your appetite though!

How are you finding it so far?

You went out and bought a new phone and tablet because you're 'hypo-manic'?

Yes. I usually don't spend money other than on necessities, but when I go into hypomania/mania that's one of the reckless features that comes out within myself. My closet is full of about $3,000 worth of suits, neckties and dress shirts and the tags are still on most of these items. I bought these items about 10 years ago during a manic episode. Lol

Today, through practicing mindfulness with my psychiatrist and my therapist I can see this behavior in myself, and then I'm able to direct it into a little bit more productive activities. (Once on a whim I decided to book a flight and travel for a month on the other side of the globe, thanks to a very exciting AND FUN manic episode).

The other day when I went out and bought my phone and tablet I knew I was in hypomania and I accepted it and I went ahead and spent money anyway and frankly I'm very happy now that I'm a little bit more stable that I bought those items.

I posted last night on a thread in off topic listing everything I have taken, but I've been on about 13 different psychiatric meds trying to help my situation with bipolar, and the only one I found that I like so far was Zyprexa, and I agree with you I have to really watch my appetite when I take zyprexa, as it has one of the worst side effect profiles with overeating from what I've seen.

For me Zyprexa is the only medication that's worked and it works absolutely incredibly well. Frankly I was surprised how well it works for me.

 

[Nadcouw]

I feel completely and utterly overwhelmed.
I don't 'just' mean that I feel very depressed!

It has got to the point where I feel like I'm constantly experiencing sensory overload. I cannot, for instance, concentrate on reading/typing on here while listening to music.

I also feel as though I'm in constant cognitive overload, and have no capacity. For instance I was messaging someone the other day on here, and for the life of me I just cannot remember who it was. Even looking through the list of PM's doesn't help.

Time also seems to be flying by, without me even realising it, to the point where it's just unbelievable!
A couple of weeks ago I went to message a friend on Facebook who I had been meaning to reply to for some time. I knew I hadn't replied to their message for a while, but when I came to open the chat and looked at the dates of the messages, it had been over a year since a message had been exchanged between us!
Just a few days ago I opened another Facebook chat on another conversation, and a conversation I thought had maybe happened a week ago had in fact taken place about a month ago!

I just don't understand what's happening to me :( and I am actually quite scared that I am falling apart mentally other than just being very depressed.
Then again maybe these are extreme symptoms of depression.

1 year has gone by and I have been in constant depression. I am worried beyond belief. I feel guilty for wasting so much time. I can't believe I never had a relationship, held a job and unable to support myself and I am now 58. Afraid I will be homeless soon. I am living in constant anxiety, fear and loneliness.