total desperation

[headinghome]

sorry....nowhere else to go/vent...devastation, despair,
destruction...where is my peace and where is death? tried once but failed now imprisioned in house unable to physically do what was all normal stuff due to injury...now can't even get out to get any means to take away the immense suffering...seems no one can or will help me...I am therefore in HELL...If anyone was made to suffer like I said I'm sure some of you...and they would be the first to push the button… How can I get out of here? I am just so desperate so desperate I want to scream every second
help me I want out of here....I want out I want out I want out...sorry can't live like this....if I was physically OK none of this would be happening...why? if you are able please consider living ... although I would never suggest any path for anyone… I just want to die I just want to die.....

 

[brighter]

"Hell is empty and all the devils are here"
William Shakespeare

I know of the pain you're talking about and of the desperation.

Maybe it will help you to make a plan? If you really can't make life work, you should consider making a good ctb plan and making that work? This is no way to live, and if you feel as if there is no way your life is going to get better, I know I will not be alone to help you find peace. I also know that I will not be alone if you want help or advice on how to be happy and live.

Whatever you can make work sweetheart :)

 

[headinghome]

"Hell is empty and all the devils are here"
William Shakespeare

I know of the pain you're talking about and of the desperation.

Maybe it will help you to make a plan? If you really can't make life work, you should consider making a good ctb plan and making that work? This is no way to live, and if you feel as if there is no way your life is going to get better, I know I will not be alone to help you find peace. I also know that I will not be alone if you want help or advice on how to be happy and live.

Whatever you can make work sweetheart :) ❤

despair/devastation from injury that has left my mobility compromised...all joy and things that sustained my life are now gone...I am not one of those who can "just move on" and be content sitting on the sidelines because "you still have so much to offer" Fuck that and fuck anyone who says that to me....if this is so great YOU TRADE PLACES with me and see how you survive compromised, limited, stuck, dependent, rotting, ruined....

 

[brighter]

despair/devastation from injury that has left my mobility compromised...all joy and things that sustained my life are now gone...I am not one of those who can "just move on" and be content sitting on the sidelines because "you still have so much to offer" Fuck that and fuck anyone who says that to me....if this is so great YOU TRADE PLACES with me and see how you survive compromised, limited, stuck, dependent, rotting, ruined....

I honestly didn't mean to upset you. I wasn't trying to downplay your emotions either. I think I didn't word it properly, you don't seem to understand my point.

I'm sorry for what you're going through and want to say that if you want to ctb, I will support you, and if you want to live, I will support you.

 

[headinghome]

I honestly didn't mean to upset you. I wasn't trying to downplay your emotions either. I think I didn't word it properly, you don't seem to understand my point.

I'm sorry for what you're going through and want to say that if you want to ctb, I will support you, and if you want to live, I will support you.

you didn't upset me...was speaking about my interactions....thx for your support unfortunately I have no methods that I could use....that I could go through with....tried with benzos/oxy and was dragged to hospital ....now have no access to any meds etc and don't think I can maneuver thru getting N....This whole thing is a nightmare and never in 1 million years would I imagine being here… Let alone being on a suicide support site… It's like I've been taken hostage by hell… Or my life has been switched with someone else's… None of it makes any sense…

 

[brighter]

you didn't upset me...was speaking about my interactions....thx for your support unfortunately I have no methods that I could use....that I could go through with....tried with benzos/oxy and was dragged to hospital ....now have no access to any meds etc and don't think I can maneuver thru getting N....This whole thing is a nightmare and never in 1 million years would I imagine being here… Let alone being on a suicide support site… It's like I've been taken hostage by hell… Or my life has been switched with someone else's… None of it makes any sense…

Oh honey I'm so sorry, you must be going through hell.
Would you be able to do a hanging method? I'm not sure what your physical condition is exactly.

 

[headinghome]

Oh honey I'm so sorry, you must be going through hell.
Would you be able to do a hanging method? I'm not sure what your physical condition is exactly.

don't think i could do that...

 

[An hero of our time]

If you pardon me such a question, you injured due failed attempt with benzos?

 

[headinghome]

don't think i could do that...

ankle was broken so now i hobble around....was strong, able, ran exercised extremely healthy..never had suicidal thoughts had a good life with friends ...now they all think I should just
"live with these horrid limitations"
...now I am a dependent cripple ....I want to die!

If you pardon me such a question, you injured due failed attempt with benzos?

no injured ankle slipping on hill
attempted suicide later with benzos but didn't have enough....although it might have worked....thought eight hours alone would be enough...

And you say it would be too hard to get N? Maybe SN? less reliable than N but it would still work if executed properly.

not sure i could get the supportive drugs for SN....

 

[An hero of our time]

ankle was broken so now i hobble around....was strong, able, ran exercised extremely healthy..never had suicidal thoughts had a good life with friends ...now they all think I should just
"live with these horrid limitations"
...now I am a dependent cripple ....I want to die!

no injured ankle slipping on hill
attempted suicide later with benzos but didn't have enough....although it might have worked....thought eight hours alone would be enough...

I am sorry.
Do you know about shallow water method? It seems pretty easy once you figure out how to pass out due hyperventilation. Do you able to get a bath without help?

 

[headinghome]

I am sorry.
Do you know about shallow water method? It seems pretty easy once you figure out how to pass out due hyperventilation. Do you able to get a bath without help?

not sure I could do this to myself...
the drugs were easy and peaceful and the way it should be when one chooses to end their life....not some horrible painful way....being able to have access to a drug like N is a basic right for those who truly wish to pass... don't get me wrong I am desperate to end this hell and to get out of here that's why I feel helpless because I don't think I could hang myself or stab myself or drown myself or jump… Or throw myself in front of a train or throw myself out of a moving car…