Id had some shrooms sitting in my closet for a while now and decided to take them last night. I hadnt done them in years but wanted to try them as a last resort to get my depression and suicidal thoughts under control. The come up was awesome and I couldnt stop smiling, then right around the peak my brain switched from being happy to thinking about the circumstances that are making me suicidal and I just couldnt stop repeating in my brain for the rest of the trip that I needed to kill myself soon. I wouldnt even call it a bad trip, I felt very calm and still a little bit euphoric after the peak but just knew that I had to kill myself. This morning I feel like my SI is the weakest its ever been. Im going to give it a few days and refrain from doing anything rash but if I still feel like this once I pickup my shotgun later this week, I think its going to be over for me.
acerace
Member
- Jun 5, 2023
- 62
I've had similar experience with alcohol/ drugs ill usually get even more depressed and suicidal. I'm guessing they make the chemical imbalances worse if it's already a preexisting condition. Best of luck if you decide to go through with it
AntHills
Degenerate
- Aug 31, 2022
- 71
Every experience I've had with LSD and Psilocybin has been pretty much identical to this since my first attempt. I kept taking them with the hope that I could have a good trip, but it always just escalated into me talking to myself in the mirror about how urgently I needed to CTB. It sucks when your life is so shit that you can't even enjoy drugs anymore. Alcohol, marijuana, and psychedelics aren't even on the table for me anymore.
TheGoodGuy
Visionary
- Aug 27, 2018
- 2,998
I feel you, I can't enjoy drugs anymore either because of allergies or from anxiety which I get from pretty much everything even weed and opiates. I wish I could at least cope with drugs since internal happiness doesn't exist for me anymore it would be nice to experience it from external sources like drugs.
