Venting Too Sick to Die

[Lawliet]

I'm too sick for my preferred method, SN. I have gastroparesis and this recent flare up has had my more suicidal than ever. I can't keep any food or liquid down, I've been to the ER for fluids and all o could think of was how easily it would be to slip something into my IV, if only a nurse would have and then left me there to die. I have a stomach surgery coming up this Wednesday and I just want to die during it. Why are they putting so much effort into keeping someone alive hope doesn't want it? I have such a shitty life with so many health problems galore and even though I have a very loving mother and family to take care of me I just can't handle it anymore.SN seems like the most viable option but I can't keep anything down. Even the strongest antimetics can't help me keep down water, it's a joke to think they'd keep down my SN.

I'm about to get into my fucking car and drown myself with a backpack of rocks. It's like one of the worst ways to go but I don't have to luxury of something simpler. I've been this way for ages. I'm just too much of a pussy to go through with it. My dad has a gun upstairs but I don't know how assemble it let alone use it and I'm not about to blow my face off but not die. Plus I'd have to sneak around and I just. I need help walking lmao. Fuck my life. Fuck these people prolonging it. I just want peace. And for life to leave me the fuck alone.

 

[wereqryan]

I'm about to get into my fucking car and drown myself with a backpack of rocks. It's like one of the worst ways to go but I don't have to luxury of something simpler.

Look into inert gas if you haven't. Its a bit complicated but worth it because it knocks you out in seconds.

 

[FuneralCry]

We deserve an peaceful exit at a time of our own choosing, we need a right to die. It is cruel how society expects us to suffer for decades. Nobody should have to resort to unpleasant methods. It is not cowardly being unable to go through with it as we are programmed to survive. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[Wrennie]

Your situation is so strikingly similar to mine and I empathize with your suffering so strongly. It truly is unbearable what they force us chronically ill to endure. I cannot take SN either because I have a nerve condition (an antibody that causes my nerves to eat themselves) and the second it enters my bloodstream I will experience greater amplification of my already-unendurable physical agony. I am completely codependent on my parents and live with them, so ordering N instead would be immensely difficult because if the cops trace it to my address it could cost my father his job as a side effect, even if he weren't involved in any way (he also has the most insufferably ironic employment for a person in my predicament).

I need help walking too because I have POTS, so I'm prone to fainting upon standing, and my nerve condition ate the reflexes in my legs. Also I broke my hip jumping off a building.

We're both trapped in this Hell. I wish I could liberate us from it.

 

[Judah]

Oh friend, your situation is somewhat overwhelming, and also the fact that the number of CTB methods is very low, if you find one, make sure you feel like it, if you feel compelled by the lack of resources, it is more prone to SI manifesting, I also want to use SN but my body works in a strange way so I'm afraid of failing.

Hug!

 

[NormaJeane]

Human life should only be extended, not shortened, regardless of health status, this shows how stupid the society and people are. Euthanasia is the solution to all problems.

 

[BobMorane]

for 200$ you can get a generator at Home Depot. That and a closed space like a car and you have your CO poisoning, painless .

 

[Crazy4u]

Please don't try it when you are overwhelmed. You have better chances if you are calm. I hope you find peace

 

[Wrennie]

for 200$ you can get a generator at Home Depot. That and a closed space like a car and you have your CO poisoning, painless .

Could you elaborate more on this? What type of generator? Would I just carry it in the car with me and flip it on and pass away, or do I need to hook it up to various things? I'm not tech-savvy at all.
Thank you, I truly appreciate it.

 

[BobMorane]

I have a generator. Could I run it to my garage and close the door? Would that do the trick? How long would it take?

Could you elaborate more on this? What type of generator? Would I just carry it in the car with me and flip it on and pass away, or do I need to hook it up to various things? I'm not tech-savvy at all.
Thank you, I truly appreciate it.

Check out this :

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/carbon-monoxide-megathread.2053/

 

[toforigivelife]

I'm too sick for my preferred method, SN. I have gastroparesis and this recent flare up has had my more suicidal than ever. I can't keep any food or liquid down, I've been to the ER for fluids and all o could think of was how easily it would be to slip something into my IV, if only a nurse would have and then left me there to die. I have a stomach surgery coming up this Wednesday and I just want to die during it. Why are they putting so much effort into keeping someone alive hope doesn't want it? I have such a shitty life with so many health problems galore and even though I have a very loving mother and family to take care of me I just can't handle it anymore.SN seems like the most viable option but I can't keep anything down. Even the strongest antimetics can't help me keep down water, it's a joke to think they'd keep down my SN.

I'm about to get into my fucking car and drown myself with a backpack of rocks. It's like one of the worst ways to go but I don't have to luxury of something simpler. I've been this way for ages. I'm just too much of a pussy to go through with it. My dad has a gun upstairs but I don't know how assemble it let alone use it and I'm not about to blow my face off but not die. Plus I'd have to sneak around and I just. I need help walking lmao. Fuck my life. Fuck these people prolonging it. I just want peace. And for life to leave me the fuck alone.

Look into buying what you need to die a more peaceful death on the dark markets. There are some serious drugs available on those markets.

 

[Lawliet]

Thank you everyone for your help and condolences. I've since had my surgery and I'm in a lot of pain. I live with my parents so I can't possibly get together a generator.

Look into buying what you need to die a more peaceful death on the dark markets. There are some serious drugs available on those markets.

I'm not sure what you're referring to.