Help too much trauma and emotional development to be able to socialize?

[SketchedOut]

before i start talking about this, i want to say that i know that it sounds like the most cliché "i'm not like other girls" shit and i'm sorry for that, but i genuinely don't know how else i could explain this to myself.

for the longest time i felt like everyone around me is somehow less of a human with less emotions and less thoughts, as if i was surrounded by npcs in real life. but i've recently realized that maybe it's a me problem.

i feel like i've went through so much trauma that shaped me and made me go through so much character development, and it feels like it might've gotten to the point that my brain just works in completely different waves compared to everyone else. as if i was too emotionally developed for other people to be able to understand me and my feelings and actions.

do you ever feel similarly? do you think it's possible for something like that to happen?

 

[Mitsumi]

I totally understand you and I also feel like this. It's totally possible. I've always thought I was the problem though. Hope you feel better !

 

[Argo]

before i start talking about this, i want to say that i know that it sounds like the most cliché "i'm not like other girls" shit and i'm sorry for that, but i genuinely don't know how else i could explain this to myself.

for the longest time i felt like everyone around me is somehow less of a human with less emotions and less thoughts, as if i was surrounded by npcs in real life. but i've recently realized that maybe it's a me problem.

i feel like i've went through so much trauma that shaped me and made me go through so much character development, and it feels like it might've gotten to the point that my brain just works in completely different waves compared to everyone else. as if i was too emotionally developed for other people to be able to understand me and my feelings and actions.

do you ever feel similarly? do you think it's possible for something like that to happen?

You can probably see that the trauma/neglect/development struggle is a safe fact to notice(I notice it in myself too). So in one sense, people are broken in that there are those who can more easily connect/interact with others, and those who can't or struggle. As you said a "me problem". But...

That only points the finger at one person, when what we're really talking about is a complicated problem. People are not skilled in managing the suffering of those around them, they actually tend to act in self-interested ways that preserve their own needs first, and this has a bearing on the pain of others. You can look at someone, and if they give the "wrong" reaction, one you are unhappy with, you'll be unhappy.
But why did they give that reaction? Because they're just a conditioned monkey, just like all of us, unable to socially connect. Unable to just look for the right amount of time, not too little, not too long, and smile warmly, and send a signal that says "You are valid, you are welcome". They can't do that. They're too self-absorbed, too scared, too anxious, they are drowning in self concern and self criticism and low self worth. And that doesn't just affect them it affects everyone who interacts with them.
So that's what we are shaped by. It's not just us, it's also those around us. Suffering multiplies and our ability to connect decays more and more.

And what if you do connect? What if you have a good friendship, or a relationship that starts off good? The same rule applies. Slowly the rosy picture begins to have cracks form. Slowly it decays and is poisoned and whatever suffering exists(and everyone has suffering in them just by being born), that suffering will echo into the person you are in relations with, and their suffering will echo into you, and things will decay. That could take the form of exploiting each other, that could take the form of one running away from another, that could take the form of violence or cruelty or callousness, or sabotage, or smothering, or boredom or countless other forms. One thing is certain though, that as long as one person is suffering, as long as one person is wanting and clawing at something that they need from the other person, or constantly on guard about things they don't want or fear, things will be poisoned

 

[caninecomposer]

You're not alone; I feel absolutely no relation to humans as a species. Trauma can lead to developing forms of intelligence that most people are incapable of achieving naturally, and that isn't a problem with you. It's an issue of people's brains never developing enough to be compatible with those who see life for what it actually is. Even when presenting the most basic logic to others, I've found nearly every person to willingly choose to fight against objective truths, and that unfortunately can't be changed without drastic neural rewiring. Or maybe the motivation to achieve perfection, but sadly everyone writes that off as "impossible".

 

[calebzz1]

I definitely feel this a lot, since I had refractive surgery and my vision is a bit impaired I feel "different" to a lot of people, almost inferior in nature since my corneas are permanently damaged.

I know it's not true, but the confidence I have is shot and unfortunately no one in my immediate life can relate to my situation which of course doesn't help.

I think I still have some hidden trauma after my dream surgery did not turn out as well as I hoped, so much regret that is felt everyday.

 

[AInilam]

I thought emotional intelligence is what makes someone more sociable and that character development is being able to grow via empathy and connection.

Imo I feel stunted by my trauma. I'd rather not acknowledge that other people exist unless I'm put in a situation where I have to get to know them or (rarely) if they approach me. I don't think they're npcs, it's just that people generally ignore me irl and I've just grown used to blurring people into the background. For me, the more distance I place between me and people, the less room I have for more trauma, shame, anxiety or humiliation.