Too much hope for dying

[guinea-pig]

I don't know if anyone experienced a person like this too but it pisses me off.

My boyfriend has too much hope about dying and how easy it is even though he's never actually attempted. He has thoughts but like thoughts don't compare to when you're actually in the moment thinking about going through with your plan. Everything will be different and you might still want it but a lot will be different in your head. And that's if you get as far as having a plan because it is fucking hard to die. Most methods are inaccessible and the accessible ones can be still hard to get or just hard to go through with because of survival instinct. He also thinks SI is just people not having the willpower either which doesn't make any sense and I tried explaining but he wouldn't listen to that one.

I think it also just pisses me off because I wish I had hope for anything anymore.

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess that after all if one plans to actually ctb then they will soon learn that it isn't straightforward, to me suicide could never be easy especially as we exist in a society that makes suicide as difficult as possible for people, purposely making peaceful methods inaccessible. I wish suicide actually was straightforward but of course that would be far too good to be true.