Too messed up in teens/20's for college and then feared starting later in life?

[Nolan96]

I'm wondering if anyone else has any experience with this. I'm 25 and I live right near a college where I see so many 18 to 22 year olds coming and going. i often feel jealous of them. I don't even know what I'd want to study or how exactly I'd manage to afford it, but I just want to because I know if life hadn't gotten in the way and I'd gotten a proper chance at it, it would have been something I could have excelled in to give me a source of pride. My situation is a little less fucked than it was a few years ago, at least in the relevant logistical ways if not in terms of how miserable and hopeless I am. Realistically I think it'd still take some time before I was ready to try something like that. But I also feel like the students are overwhelmingly from a pretty different generation from me at this point and I'd feel so awkward and embarrassed being one of the oldest in all my classes. Does anyone else feel similarly or has anyone else actually gone through with pursuing something like this?

 

[whatevs]

I think you are in a good age to give it a shot. Don't think that because you have 4 - 7 years more than them you will be alienated. You will be alienated, but because of the same reasons you landed in this forum, not because of your age. And you might meet someone similar to you. It's a good age that you have! Imagine being in your 30s in the same situation. I would go for it.

 

[Ldog9]

No one will care or ask about your age. If its a commuter school or any large state school, there will be people of all ages.

I was in my early 30s when I went back to finish my bachelors. It was not uncommon to see other people in similar age group. Younger people didn't notice or care.

I assume you're talking about a 4 year college, if you're unsure you're ready, I'd suggest going to community/junior college (there will be a ton of people of different ages) and taking all your basic courses there. Then transferring to the 4 year college to get your degree.

 

[Lebensunwertes]

I am a bit older than you and considering taking up college again in form of weekend classes to get a degree that will boost my earning power. The advantage of this choice is that most people who make such decision are in my age group or even older as younger people usually attend daytime classes (the educational system where I live looks like this - daytime college is free of charge, then there is afternoon classes which are extra paid, but you can also take classes over the weekend every second week for extra amount of money). The interaction with younger people often throws me into more depression, because I realize the youthful years I wasted away rotting in my room.

 

[Lullaby]

It's never too late. When I was in CC, there were a few students who were a lot older than the rest of us. I'm talking in their 50-60s and no one ever judged them.

I was debating on going back to college but settled on something else. When I was thinking about, I definitely had the same fears but when we you jump into it, you realize you're not the only one doing it.

 

[NumbItAll]

To be fair there is also nothing wrong with taking your time about going to college. I think a lot of people go out of obligation and wind up taking out massive loans starting at age 18 without any real plan. Pretty strange how that is encouraged too.

 

[lofticries]

College is not just for 18s and early 20s. There are ppl in their 30-40s that either want to improve in their field of education ,change their career, or hell now have enough money and are stable enough to go to college.

 

[Julgran]

I'm wondering if anyone else has any experience with this. I'm 25 and I live right near a college where I see so many 18 to 22 year olds coming and going. i often feel jealous of them. I don't even know what I'd want to study or how exactly I'd manage to afford it, but I just want to because I know if life hadn't gotten in the way and I'd gotten a proper chance at it, it would have been something I could have excelled in to give me a source of pride. My situation is a little less fucked than it was a few years ago, at least in the relevant logistical ways if not in terms of how miserable and hopeless I am. Realistically I think it'd still take some time before I was ready to try something like that. But I also feel like the students are overwhelmingly from a pretty different generation from me at this point and I'd feel so awkward and embarrassed being one of the oldest in all my classes. Does anyone else feel similarly or has anyone else actually gone through with pursuing something like this?

Your feeling of being different will probably pass fairly soon, compared to a life time of regret if you don't take the opportunity to better your life.

Of course - you should accept your feelings about your situation, but that's just step one - step two is to take action and actually push those feelings aside. Just think about where you will be in five to ten years from now. No one of those other students may even know who you are, so what does it matter if they think differently about you, which they will probably not even do...?

 

[Nolan96]

Your feeling of being different will probably pass fairly soon, compared to a life time of regret if you don't take the opportunity to better your life.

Of course - you should accept your feelings about your situation, but that's just step one - step two is to take action and actually push those feelings aside. Just think about where you will be in five to ten years from now. No one of those other students may even know who you are, so what does it matter if they think differently about you, which they will probably not even do...?

It'd be a lot easier to push through if I felt confident college actually would better my life in the long-term. But like I said, it's really an emotionally motivated desire in the first place. I don't even know what degree I'd want to get. I have plenty of family members who wasted their best years at college, racked up tens of thousands of dollars of debt which still hasn't been paid off to this day on degrees that offered them no employment security, and now deeply regret it. So for all I know I'd be making a huge mistake.

I don't get how your average 16-year-old seems to manage this kind of stuff better than me. Such a nightmare.

 

[Julgran]

It'd be a lot easier to push through if I felt confident college actually would better my life in the long-term. But like I said, it's really an emotionally motivated desire in the first place. I don't even know what degree I'd want to get. I have plenty of family members who wasted their best years at college, racked up tens of thousands of dollars of debt which still hasn't been paid off to this day on degrees that offered them no employment security, and now deeply regret it. So for all I know I'd be making a huge mistake.

I don't get how your average 16-year-old seems to manage this kind of stuff better than me. Such a nightmare.

I'm personally inclined to believe that you are correct in your assessmentt, but do you have any other plans - like going to trade school instead of college/university?

I do think that there's no winning in this existence, but you will be damned if you do nothing.

 

[Nolan96]

I'm personally inclined to believe that you are correct in your assessmentt, but do you have any other plans - like going to trade school instead of college/university?

I do think that there's no winning in this existence, but you will be damned if you do nothing.

No other plans, no. I'm currently just stagnating in a dead-end low-paying job.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

College is not just for 18s and early 20s. There are ppl in their 30-40s that either want to improve in their field of education ,change their career, or hell now have enough money and are stable enough to go to college.

I totally agree. It's never too late to achieve our dreams and goals and if it's something you really want go for it. You're still young. And then when you graduate, have already worked and some time has passed, you won't even notice the difference having started later. Better late than never. And I think it's great that you're making life plans for yourself, you should be proud. Keep pushing.

 

[OctoberDusk]

I had to leave college for a while over money. I was nervous, but I went back when I was 26-27, mainly taking evening classes. I found a lot of other students were in similar circumstances: working and taking classes when we could. I think because of that many classes were more engaging than during my first time around. I was also a lot more focused when I returned, too. Anyway, returning to school when older turned out to be one of my really good ideas. I then accepted an assitantship and stayed on for a Master's.

The school I attended also allowed senior citizens to audit classes for free. Some were the most brilliant people I've met, like a Gestalt psychologist and two married poets who had witty arguments. Maybe see if that school has a similar program. If not, take regular classes and see what sparks interest.

 

[Hirokami]

I've seen a lot of people at my alma mater who were 40 to 50 studying for their bachelor's degree, some I even shared a class with and no one seemed to mind. Hell, in one of my gen eds I've even seen these two men who seemed to be 60-70. Again, no one really paid any mind.

I can almost guarantee you the younger crowd will be too busy trying to pass finals to care about a fellow student's age. The only thing they'd care about is you doing your fair share during group assignments.

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

At my local collage (only visited) there was ages of all kinds there, doing different classes, even those that might seem junior to an older person.

Study is for everyone, you don't need to buy into that romanticised bullshit that only 18yr olds go to college and live happily ever after getting amazing jobs and lives.

If you find something, just go and do it bro. I've personally done tons of jobs and i have no idea what I'd even want to study.

25 too, went to college for landscaping short course, social bubble was highly overrated in my opinion.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I began my second degree when I was 28. The youngest in our class was 18. Honestly- yeah- I was worried but turns out, there were maybe 3 or 4 other 'mature' students in my class. We tended to gravitate together but to be fair- I was lucky. No one was unkind to us. We'd all paid a shit load to study that course and most of us were focused on that. We all learnt from and supported one another for the main part. Part of that's luck of course. But you could be the same age and STILL get the odd bully in your class. By then- you'd kind of hope that people had matured enough not to do all that by then though. You'll still get the 'cool' people of course- who will also naturally gravitate together- but- you'll probably be able to avoid them. I really hope you get the opportunity to do it. It MIGHT not be the answer to all your problems but then- it might- it might give you a new focus in life. Good luck!