tonight's my night

[It'llNeverEnd]

at least I hope it will be. I don't exactly have a great method, but I'm going to try.

I was thinking about how my state's on lockdown so I guess that means my family can't have a wake or a big funeral, which brings me "joy" if you can call it that

 

[Huntfish34]

You are in my thoughts and prayers, hope you are Okay.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Have you planned for what will happen if your method fails?

 

[Huntfish34]

You are in my thoughts and prayers, hope you are Okay.

So what method is not so great ? Sorry... Really doesn't matter just curious.

 

[faust]

I am sorry life has brought you to this point...
Actually I do not recall if you mentioned anywhere your CTB method, I apologize if I did not notice that among other threads.
How are you feeling now? Do you have a kind of relief?

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I wish you peace.

 

[All an illusion]

Good luck on your journeys m8...i wish you a painless and fearless transition if that is what you wish to achieve.

 

[Jumper Geo]

at least I hope it will be. I don't exactly have a great method, but I'm going to try.

I was thinking about how my state's on lockdown so I guess that means my family can't have a wake or a big funeral, which brings me "joy" if you can call it that

Sorry it's come to this I hope you are sure and have reached out to people you trust before trying to ctb, I hope you don't mind me asking what method are you going to attempt as you don't seem to be confident, anyway I hope you find the peace your looking for

 

[GotoHellforHeavensSa]

Best of luck, but be careful with method you've chosen. Life can be a hopeless, miserable thing, but life after an failed CTB (that can cause serious health isues) could be a nightmare realized. I only hope you have a 100% certain method, and i'm sayin' this, because it did not sound like you have one like that.

 

[Brink]

Good luck and may peace be with you. We're all here if you're not ready and there's no shame in going slow and reconsidering your options / methods. X

 

[MsMaudlin]

Sending you love and strength for your journey ahead.
Please talk to us, pm is fine too
❤

 

[It'llNeverEnd]

my cat cuddled up with me and someone fell asleep in the living room so it got postponed. I regret not trying to find another way. maybe tonight? I keep hearing of people getting really sick with coronavirus and getting extremely jealous. yet I can't seem to catch it.

 

[Ulisses]

we are here for you to vent. if you want to talk or know what is needed, we will listen and try to help. hugs

 

[It'llNeverEnd]

I can't live in this body. at the earliest it will be a year before I can get a surgery to remove the boobs, but even then I won't be able to save up money for it. then I'd have to wait longer and save more for them to make me a dick. I can't move to somewhere that has proved to make me happier because of money. I can't get an apartment at all because disability housing waiting lists are so long if they even allow animals. there's no hope. I don't know anyone to get an apartment with, or have any friends at all. anyone who throws me a bone I chase away before they can get close.

 

[jimbob1000]

so sorry you are having such a difficult time, i hope you find peace,

 

[Nem]

Hope your anxiety levels are low regardless of your decision
Peace/hugs

 

[Sensei]

It'llNeverEnd, is this really a good idea? You state yourself that you don't have a great method and you seem hesitant to go through with the act. To me, this indicates that you're acting on impulse. If you don't have a good method and don't know how to execute it properly, you may inflict very severe injuries on yourself. Obviously, you know what's best for you, but I think you should consider waiting and thinking this through.

 

[It'llNeverEnd]

I've been thinking about it for over 15 years. my plan will likely work and I'm just about done trying to make my plan solid.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I've been thinking about it for over 15 years. my plan will likely work and I'm just about done trying to make my plan solid.

I noticed in your other posts that you've attempted something like 20 times, and that you find inpatient to be a beneficial environment. I'm not you, I won't even attempt to guess what's going on, let alone even consider passing judgment. I'll only say that your OP sent up red flags that this will be an act of self-harm rather than an attempt to succeed in ending your life, and I would never encourage either. It is your body and your choice. If you'd like to talk through anything here, there are always folks willing to listen and engage.

Here wishing for your well-being and happiness.

 

[reapandsow918]

I hope you pass peacefully