Venting tonight

[stagnant]

i am going to kill myself tonight after everyone in my house goes to bed. im going to take sleeping pills and tie a plastic bag over my head. i dont care if it doesnt work or if its painful. i just need to feel close to dying or to just die entirely. i wish i could get better but everything is too shitty. i want to tell someone i love but i cant because they will stop me. i feel so selfish right now.

 

[sunny]

sounds like you care about the people you love deeply and want them to be reassured.

if you are having second thoughts, please reach out.

i hope you make the right decision for yourself

 

[edu0z]

be carefull, you will end with brain damage

 

[locked*n*loaded]

If that's what you decided you need to do, I wish you the best and hope it all works out the way you desire it to. I hope you can get to the peace you deserve.

 

[CW36]

Not a method I'd advise, but best of luck.

 

[imonadeadline]

The method is unreliable but I do hope that you find your peace. You're a good person for doing it discretely, I only wish to find the courage to do the same.

 

[Planet-B]

"i just need to feel close to dying"

That seriously hits home. i often find myself wandering a little too close to the tracks when the train is coming or purposely crossing a busy roads casually.
Maybe one of these times instead of a car or train smashing my hand/arm to give me a taste. The trains inertia will suck me in or the oversized SUV with a family of 12 and ther driver on their phone allows me just enough time to cross the street at the wrong time.

I've been thinking alot about this lately.
Am i teasing myself with these near 'life' experiences. I get off on it, not sexually but i feel SOMETHING and for that brief moment its not misery, i'm Alive!
Fleeting... but exhilarating. It also gives way to an almost immediate shame and dissapointment. even anger, I didnt do it...... AGAIN!

Deep Breaths... Break life down into minutes not days.
Thats the ONLY way i've been able to survive for past 2 years.
A Miserable-Autopilot with A LOT of imaginary(???) passengers with A LOT of weird ideas.

I wish you ALL an uneventful quiet day. Amen!!! :)
/Rainbows 'n Shit

 

[FuneralCry]

I do agree that method doesn't sound particularly reliable but it's always the individual's decision deciding what method, I wish you the best with your plans and I hope you find what you are searching for, best of luck.