Discussion Tonight SH. Thinking, am I an odd case?

[Archness]

I literally sh right before writing this.

Just came upon some scissors broken in two, one of them fit snugly in my hand. SH came to mind, I posed with it in the mirror a bit, then cut.

Well, my mind's still unexpectedly clear and composed for such actions. Maybe it's not because my urges to SH are strong, but my sheer indifference lets me... I guess hear that dark voice and act on it.

Seems interesting, it just about draws blood, so it's not real damage atleast. Wonder a bit abt what others may say about this? My attitude towards it, shown here?

I guess I do it, to prove a point to myself. Not really to calm myself or "pleasure". Tho there is a certain sensation in my brain, not exactly pleasure or a good feeling, but a subtle satisfaction at the work done. Maybe it is a good feeling? I won't indulge much further, as much as I will.

That indifference to myself kinda relates to my suicidallity. Kinda interested if others who SH could understand me somewhat.

 

[passivethought121]

Nah, I get it. Did this most when SH became frequent in my day and because I was so physically tolerant and emotionally numb that it didn't do anything. Mostly surprise, but just satisfaction.

I also do a few poses before I cut. It's like a little showcase