Tonight is the night, take care everybody.

[Sauna]

Tonight is the night. Gonna go all the way. Fuck it, I am done. This last month I have not done anything other than tried to come in terms with CTB. I have had pretty shitty medical issues for 1 year now. Finally when the doctors found out what it was they fucked me up more with their medicine. Now they don't know how or why. Did my own research for the thing and I just got fucking unlucky. The "this should not happen" unlucky. I am fucked now and I know it. No way of coming back because I could not find it and neither could the doctors. Fucking cunts. Not going to "learn to live with this". I am only 24 years old and not going to keep going on for years like this with pain and suffering. I didn't want to go like this, never had suicidal thoughts until 2 months ago after I went to the doctors and they fucked me up. It pains me to leave the suffering to my friends and family. They will not take this lightly. On the paper I had everything going for me. Fucking April fools no matter how you look at it.

Glad there is a place like this where you can openly learn and speak about suicide. Everywhere else you just can't do that.

Drinking myself drunk for the last time and going for full hanging when it's dark. Then that's it. My life became a nightmare. Now I only want to see death smiling at me and smile back.

Fuck it. Take care.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best of luck with your plans and I hope you find freedom from your suffering.

 

[AshH]

Hi,
I'm sorry to learn that you're suffering like that.
I've also a chronic medical condition which has affected my quality of life and left me in debilitating pain for years. Treatments didn't worked, I've been told several times by drs the same "learn to live with it" thing, which is frustrating because they don't know the struggle that it is everyday.
That's also one of main reasons that bring me to do it.
Btw I'd be happy to talk in mp or here if you want to.

 

[AnonGermany]

Hey, i am sorry that you feel like this and came to this decision.
I hope you will find the energy needed for this next step in front of you and wish you all the best and a hopefully quick departure.

If for some reason you will have 2nd thoughts and/or it wont work out like you planned it to be, please dont be afraid to abort the plan and come back to talk with us about it.

 

[MatthieuFrederickW]

All the best and good luck.

 

[sanshi]

 

[アホペンギン]

I hope you have a smooth transition and you find peace. Best wishes and good luck.

 

[Sauna]

Thank you for your replies everybody. I don't know, maybe they had a little affect on me. My friends have asked me to hang out for this whole month as I have isolated myself. I guess I will go see them this last time tomorrow as much as it pains me. But maybe it's gonna be okay and I can go away little happier after. But if I don't reply this board after tomorrow then I am gone. With last happy memory I guess. Thank you and goodbye.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

Sorry you got to this point. Hope you find peace!

 

[nicotine_goblin]

Thank you for your replies everybody. I don't know, maybe they had a little affect on me. My friends have asked me to hang out for this whole month as I have isolated myself. I guess I will go see them this last time tomorrow as much as it pains me. But maybe it's gonna be okay and I can go away little happier after. But if I don't reply this board after tomorrow then I am gone. With last happy memory I guess. Thank you and goodbye.

I'm really sorry it's come to this for you. I hope you have a good time tomorrow and create a happy memory. Good luck with everything

 

[Unknown21]

Good luck, i hope to join and meet u in the afterlife soon

 

[Amidaa]

Sorry to hear that, and it has to come to this decision. Hope you find the peace you wanted and let the journey be smooth.

 

[Tulip<3]

I'm so sorry you have had to go through this. As a chronically ill person who has been told I have to learn to live with it too, I get it. I understand why some people choose not to.
We are here no matter what you choose. No one will judge you at all if you decide you need more time or you want to give life one more chance. Either way, we are here.

 

[doggyrot]

I'm sorry you've been driven to this point. may the Lord have mercy on you

 

[Cloud Busting]

I'm so sorry you have had to go through this. As a chronically ill person who has been told I have to learn to live with it too, I get it. I understand why some people choose not to.
We are here no matter what you choose. No one will judge you at all if you decide you need more time or you want to give life one more chance. Either way, we are here.

This. I failed my attempt and when I came back I was welcomed with open arms.

I am so sorry life has gotten you to this point. I'm wishing you peace in whatever you chose.

 

[SolomonKado]

when I was 20 I went to a blood donation place on the military base. I thought I was doing some good for someone else. After giving the blood I was contacted by the hospital to make an appointment and come in.

Fucking doctor told me I had contracted Hep C. Along with 19 other people that went to the same blood donation place. Something that should never-ever happen, but did.

I did a year long treatment with 6 pills and an injection I gave myself once a week. Everyday for an entire year I was sick, weak, and after the injection it would hit super hard making me deathly sick. Throughout this it caused my hair to thin out.

After the treatment was over I found it damaged my nerves and I ended up with Neuropathy. Pain in all my limbs that sometimes becomes so bad with my bulged disc, because I have one extra bone in my spine, I can't get out of bed some days. After all these years and all this money spent on the medical field you'd think they'd have it all figured out….

No one deserves these jail sentences. Being locked in a body that wants to prove everyday how we have no choice of what happens to us and in our lives.

 

[Talles]

Best of luck, friend. Only those locked in these prisons of pain know how terrible they really are.

 

[draekmir]

Wishing you peace and happiness

 

[MiMif]

Thank you for your replies everybody. I don't know, maybe they had a little affect on me. My friends have asked me to hang out for this whole month as I have isolated myself. I guess I will go see them this last time tomorrow as much as it pains me. But maybe it's gonna be okay and I can go away little happier after. But if I don't reply this board after tomorrow then I am gone. With last happy memory I guess. Thank you and goodbye.

Hope your content with what you do. Whatever you do make sure you smile

 

[garrypallister99]

Tonight is the night. Gonna go all the way. Fuck it, I am done. This last month I have not done anything other than tried to come in terms with CTB. I have had pretty shitty medical issues for 1 year now. Finally when the doctors found out what it was they fucked me up more with their medicine. Now they don't know how or why. Did my own research for the thing and I just got fucking unlucky. The "this should not happen" unlucky. I am fucked now and I know it. No way of coming back because I could not find it and neither could the doctors. Fucking cunts. Not going to "learn to live with this". I am only 24 years old and not going to keep going on for years like this with pain and suffering. I didn't want to go like this, never had suicidal thoughts until 2 months ago after I went to the doctors and they fucked me up. It pains me to leave the suffering to my friends and family. They will not take this lightly. On the paper I had everything going for me. Fucking April fools no matter how you look at it.

Glad there is a place like this where you can openly learn and speak about suicide. Everywhere else you just can't do that.

Drinking myself drunk for the last time and going for full hanging when it's dark. Then that's it. My life became a nightmare. Now I only want to see death smiling at me and smile back.

Fuck it. Take care.

Peace and love