RealLostSoul
once rock bottom, always rock bottom
- Oct 11, 2019
- 211
Hey guys I thought I'd update you on my situation. So I am going on vacation tomorrow for a week in France. I am looking forward. I am currently on Wellbutrin now, which is great actually, it gives me a lot of energy which I desperately needed to not only finish my last stuff I have to do but also for this vacation. There are many positive effects of this like I am more focussed, aware, active, and even feel a little bit more "alive" again like I was in a grey bubble with everything being dead already but now the world feels a little bit more real. The only downside is I lose weight again (anorexic already) and I can't fall asleep anymore (only with strong sleeping pills) so the evenings suck. Overall I am glad I asked for this specific drug and got it prescribed.
I was so busy and stopped thinking about my order every 5 minutes but today I took a look again, no updates, no nothing. Hmm, I am seriously wondering when it will arrive. I mean, I anticipated that it most likely would have been taking a few weeks to ship but still, I am kinda afraid of it failing to arrive already. I don't know why but I have a bad feeling about it, maybe it will arrive but not be pure enough or not arrive at all. I hope it will arrive at my friends house when I am in the vacation so I can come back and take it home immediately.
I am yet not sure if I will take it. I am very rational on Wellbutrin again, thinking a lot, sometimes even having 4 thoughts at the same time feeling overwhelmed by everything. There is so much energy and electricity flowing through me it's awkward but yet way better than being depressed sitting around doing nothing waiting for time to pass. Rationally I am thankful that I ordered it, I like having it as an option to end it all but maybe I will not do it. It kind of depends on a few factors like if I get a surgery date or how the vacation goes, how everything goes. Maybe in the end everything will fail and I will take it, maybe not. Time will tell...
I was so busy and stopped thinking about my order every 5 minutes but today I took a look again, no updates, no nothing. Hmm, I am seriously wondering when it will arrive. I mean, I anticipated that it most likely would have been taking a few weeks to ship but still, I am kinda afraid of it failing to arrive already. I don't know why but I have a bad feeling about it, maybe it will arrive but not be pure enough or not arrive at all. I hope it will arrive at my friends house when I am in the vacation so I can come back and take it home immediately.
I am yet not sure if I will take it. I am very rational on Wellbutrin again, thinking a lot, sometimes even having 4 thoughts at the same time feeling overwhelmed by everything. There is so much energy and electricity flowing through me it's awkward but yet way better than being depressed sitting around doing nothing waiting for time to pass. Rationally I am thankful that I ordered it, I like having it as an option to end it all but maybe I will not do it. It kind of depends on a few factors like if I get a surgery date or how the vacation goes, how everything goes. Maybe in the end everything will fail and I will take it, maybe not. Time will tell...
