M

melp

Member
Aug 5, 2020
68
Generally, when I survive, I will try to write down what I did wrong.

If I don't write a post after August 22 for a week / two, I'm on the other side.
 
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rt1989526

Paragon
Aug 2, 2020
935
Wishing you peace in whatever you decide
 
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virginiawoolf86

virginiawoolf86

Specialist
Jul 4, 2020
317
I wish the best for you, no matter your decision. I'm sorry life has brought you to this. Know that you're cared for.
 
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VIBRITANNIA

VIBRITANNIA

lelouch. any pronouns. pfp is by pixiv id 3217872.
Aug 10, 2020
1,156
i hope your journey is peaceful.
 
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X

Xiaomi

Gone.
Aug 8, 2020
482
I will see you on the other side. I wish I had some SN.
 
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Fire&Ash

Fire&Ash

Experienced
Apr 15, 2020
226
Will you post what your fasting schedule is? Do you not eat and drink water for 8 hours?
 
LostandTired

LostandTired

Member
Jul 24, 2020
53
Will you post what your fasting schedule is? Do you not eat and drink water for 8 hours?

You should read up on fasting here. But basically food fast 5-8 hours before with adjusting according to your own body metabolism. Minimal water fast 2hrs before, like small sips should be fine. Complete water fast 1hr before other than minimum needed for any other meds.
 
G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,017
I hope you're journey is swift and peaceful, and brings you the peace you desire.
 
M

melp

Member
Aug 5, 2020
68
It was supposed to be so fun. Unfortunately, I was determined, but stopped myself a few minutes before. I have no idea what I can give myself so as not to change my mind. Now I'm terribly upset with myself. I need to think about it. Fasting was 6 hours.

Any self-confidence medications ?? I will definitely try a second time. I will write when.


I don't know if anyone had that before the suicide attempt, but my brain started giving me positive thoughts. This is a comedy-drama. And today feels like the day before yesterday. My brain gave me some temporary antidepressant effects just like that because I was serious about it.
 
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FriendofDeath

FriendofDeath

Elementalist
May 22, 2020
833
I can believe that. Ride whatever is going on. It sounds like you are prepared whenever you are ready to ctb.
 
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Breadbfra

Breadbfra

Specialist
Jul 16, 2020
374
It was supposed to be so fun. Unfortunately, I was determined, but stopped myself a few minutes before. I have no idea what I can give myself so as not to change my mind. Now I'm terribly upset with myself. I need to think about it. Fasting was 6 hours.

Any self-confidence medications ?? I will definitely try a second time. I will write when.


I don't know if anyone had that before the suicide attempt, but my brain started giving me positive thoughts. This is a comedy-drama. And today feels like the day before yesterday. My brain gave me some temporary antidepressant effects just like that because I was serious about it.
That's normal, no need to be upset. I'm glad you're still here with us. How are you feeling rn?
 
M

melp

Member
Aug 5, 2020
68
As usual. The self-preservation instinct is terrible. I'm not gonna get better spontaneously. Next time I have to get a better night's sleep. Nothing ever had any value to me.
Mentally, there's not much. I ran away from peace and it's funny. Just a little more determination. A little more and there will be a reward in the form of an end. Maybe I should get an SSRI to boost my suicidal thoughts?

 
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Wisdom3_1-9

he/him/his
Jul 19, 2020
1,954
I don't know if anyone had that before the suicide attempt, but my brain started giving me positive thoughts. This is a comedy-drama. And today feels like the day before yesterday. My brain gave me some temporary antidepressant effects just like that because I was serious about it.
In my two previous attempts, my thoughts immediately before ingestion were of my family - my husband and my mother. That stopped the process for me.
 
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M

melp

Member
Aug 5, 2020
68
I had these thoughts:
-everything will be fine or at least will improve
-you feel better
-it won't work and you will tire even more
-someone will find you and save you
- family pictures, of course, because why not
I felt surprisingly not depressed then. It was all repeated in loops.

My brain was bombarding me with prolife and that's it.
 
LetzteAusfahrt

LetzteAusfahrt

Swiss gay, will definitely ctb on October 10th
Jun 27, 2020
590
I know I will be very excited and happy too. Have a big grin on your face and tremble with joy.
But not because of the SI trying to hold me back. I removed this function from my brain a long time ago.

I'm just going to be incredibly happy because I can finally, finally die.

Maybe you feel the same way, only you get it wrong. Take it as the joy of death, not life. Then you will be able to find happiness too. :wink:
 
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M

melp

Member
Aug 5, 2020
68
You're right. I understood.
 
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M

melp

Member
Aug 5, 2020
68
I am trying a second time. I've already eaten Meto
 
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Captive of Mind

Captive of Mind

Memento mori
Aug 11, 2020
409
I am trying a second time. I've already eaten Meto
If you truly need relief more than anything, you will find it. I will be in your position very soon. Please let us know how it is going along the way.
 
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Captive of Mind

Captive of Mind

Memento mori
Aug 11, 2020
409
Me too, I thought they were going to let us know. I can't blame them though. In my last moments I definitely won't be able to make updates.
 
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AlreadyGone

AlreadyGone

Taking it day by day
Jan 11, 2020
917
If you went through with it, I hope you found peace
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,089
My brain gave me some temporary antidepressant effects just like that because I was serious about it.
I know what you mean, and I know my brain his it's little tricks it uses too like that. Suddenly a tiny ray of hope now and then. Or something that catches my attention and makes me forget my horrible problems very briefly. It's a big problem.
 
Moonbounce

Moonbounce

Prototype
Aug 12, 2020
133
It was supposed to be so fun. Unfortunately, I was determined, but stopped myself a few minutes before. I have no idea what I can give myself so as not to change my mind. Now I'm terribly upset with myself. I need to think about it. Fasting was 6 hours.

Any self-confidence medications ?? I will definitely try a second time. I will write when.


I don't know if anyone had that before the suicide attempt, but my brain started giving me positive thoughts. This is a comedy-drama. And today feels like the day before yesterday. My brain gave me some temporary antidepressant effects just like that because I was serious about it.
Same thing happened to me today.
 
Goghaway

Goghaway

Member
Aug 20, 2020
31
That never happens to me lol. I do still find things amusing, which I guess is a plus. I'm just waiting for the right time.
So is there a thread on here where people come to say goodbye or something?
 
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M

melp

Member
Aug 5, 2020
68
Unfortunately, this is probably not the method for me. Or I was too focused on now. I have to organize an option during the day or change the method to hanging. I just fell asleep. I was determined. I didn't have time to take SN. "Metoclopramide can make you feel sleepy"

So what, the preparations for part two have started.

Here, sometimes such topics appear simply. I can see that people often withdraw from the intention.
 
G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,017
It's not for everyone. Glad to see you again, and yeah meto can really knock some people out.
 
R

rt1989526

Paragon
Aug 2, 2020
935
Unfortunately, this is probably not the method for me. Or I was too focused on now. I have to organize an option during the day or change the method to hanging. I just fell asleep. I was determined. I didn't have time to take SN. "Metoclopramide can make you feel sleepy"

So what, the preparations for part two have started.

Here, sometimes such topics appear simply. I can see that people often withdraw from the intention.

What is part two going to be?
 

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