BanaHigs
Member
- Nov 10, 2019
- 9
After months and months of being certain I was going to ctb I had a small change of mind, it felt like things were kind of looking up even if it was just a little, but just like everything it didn't last and now I feel worse than ever.
My planned method has always been co using disposable bbq's in my car but as it's the winter right now I wasn't sure where would even sell them without ordering from online(which raises the question to those around me)
I was going to wait until summer and see if things change but I just don't want this life anymore, each and every day is becoming such a chore that even faking it like I used to is starting to take it's toll.
So I'm going to go to my local b&q tomorrow to see if they have charcoal and equipment, if I don't pussy out but I think if I have all the equipment ready I won't as I've tried partial suspension a few times so I know I could go through with it.
I'm scared though about if it doesn't work and I end up with bad side effects 2/3 weeks after but I guess that's the risk like there's risk in every method. I'm going to light the bbq's(2 maybe) and wait until they're done, tape the vents of the car, put them in and wait 20 minutes then get in and hopefully that's that.
My planned method has always been co using disposable bbq's in my car but as it's the winter right now I wasn't sure where would even sell them without ordering from online(which raises the question to those around me)
I was going to wait until summer and see if things change but I just don't want this life anymore, each and every day is becoming such a chore that even faking it like I used to is starting to take it's toll.
So I'm going to go to my local b&q tomorrow to see if they have charcoal and equipment, if I don't pussy out but I think if I have all the equipment ready I won't as I've tried partial suspension a few times so I know I could go through with it.
I'm scared though about if it doesn't work and I end up with bad side effects 2/3 weeks after but I guess that's the risk like there's risk in every method. I'm going to light the bbq's(2 maybe) and wait until they're done, tape the vents of the car, put them in and wait 20 minutes then get in and hopefully that's that.
