Venting Tomorrow my parents will see my psychiatrist

[Benjiii]

The other day I spoke with my psychiatrist about my suicidal thoughts and explained my plan to partially hang myself because I didn't feel like she was taking me seriously. I also told her I was afraid she was going to lock me up in a hospital or something, so I told her, and she understood, but she contacted my parents to invite them to talk. Which at first seemed like a good idea since they deny my emotional and mental problems. They tell me that medication doesn't work and that it makes me addicted, that mental health issues can only be solved with God and work; it's completely impossible to convince them otherwise. They're right that I should work, and I'm trying to find a job. But even though I believe in God, He doesn't make me wake up without anxiety, depression, and negative thoughts. Now I regret them going to talk to my psychiatrist. I have no idea what she'll tell my parents, but they'll probably come with the same old story, and they'll control and harass me, or even take away my phone or my freedom, and I'm terrified to confront them. I was planning to try to kill myself, but I don't really have everything ready, and even though it's just a little, I'm making progress in my recovery. Running away from home and going far away to come back later is another option, although I don't know where I would go or who I would go with. The best option I could think of was to sleep all day; that's what I'll do, and whatever happens, happens. Well, thank you very much to whoever read this.

 

[fromange]

I've ran from home twice before I think. Each for just a few days. So it was more like just being sick of being there, not a real plan.
If you have any actual source of support that can be trusted (a cool grandma or uncle or best friends with parents that won't freak out, something like that) and have intent to do it semi permanently I think it could be good. This is the really fucked part of "getting help" that they betray you. Good job and I'm sorry that your psychiatrist and family don't understand you.