tomorrow might be it

[madgod]

no love. no life. a bottle of aspirin a razor and a hot bath. i'll make sure the dogs are fed. i'm too angry to stay. but tonight, i get drunk

 

[pete_x]

M, can i ask you a maybe fucked up/insensitive question ?

 

[madgod]

M, can i ask you a maybe fucked up/insensitive question ?

absolutly don't worry about asking

 

[pete_x]

Thank you, give me a minute to type it up, it gets a bit twisty, don't worry none of that religious shit, the world is far older.

 

[madgod]

Thank you, give me a minute to type it up, it gets a bit twisty, don't worry none of that religious shit, the world is far older.

i'll keep an eye for your question, don't be shy, i have thick skin and a considerably open mind :)

 

[pete_x]

Okay, here goes (been laughed at before for this line of thinking)

Should you commit to your course and go,

First I wish you well on your journey.

BUT, should you go and find yourself on an other side, or still here is some way/aspect
would you be willing to find me ?

I extend the same question to anyone willing to consider it.

I'm looking for something, I'm not sure if it's a thing/being/exploit.

In millenia of human experience peppered with weird/inexplicable shit, well.

It goes deeper but i don't want to abuse your willingness to hear this out.

I won't be offended at rejection on this point.

Again thank you for hearing me out.

 

[madgod]

Okay, here goes (been laughed at before for this line of thinking)

Should you commit to your course and go,

First I wish you well on your journey.

BUT, should you go and find yourself on an other side, or still here is some way/aspect
would you be willing to find me ?

I extend the same question to anyone willing to consider it.

I'm looking for something, I'm not sure if it's a thing/being/exploit.

In millenia of human experience peppered with weird/inexplicable shit, well.

It goes deeper but i don't want to abuse your willingness to hear this out.

I won't be offended at rejection on this point.

Again thank you for hearing me out.

you've bent my ear and now i'm curious, i both crave attention and someone who i find interesting. i suppose my question is, what hat are you looking for? my mood has shifted aggressively from the few moments ago (big surprise, my borderline ass makes these things hard to read). it might not be tomorrow (my weekend is empty as i'm home totally alone) but i often find excuses to push an eager death out further.

 

[pete_x]

Again, thank you,

Okay the gist of it is this;
In connection to the discussion I had with FusRoDracarys on the bad apple thread, Should i still be here myself, I want to know if in that scenario
and if you can actually find me, if you could take my hand and pull me through.

I've seen alot of weird things if that helps for an explanation.

To be clear, I most certainly do not want to cast any influence on your more pressing decision.

As before rejection will not offend me, I understand how far out on the limb i am here.

 

[madgod]

Okay, here goes (been laughed at before for this line of thinking)

Should you commit to your course and go,

First I wish you well on your journey.

BUT, should you go and find yourself on an other side, or still here is some way/aspect
would you be willing to find me ?

I extend the same question to anyone willing to consider it.

I'm looking for something, I'm not sure if it's a thing/being/exploit.

In millenia of human experience peppered with weird/inexplicable shit, well.

It goes deeper but i don't want to abuse your willingness to hear this out.

I won't be offended at rejection on this point.

Again thank you for hearing me out.

Again, thank you,

Okay the gist of it is this;
In connection to the discussion I had with FusRoDracarys on the bad apple thread, Should i still be here myself, I want to know if in that scenario
and if you can actually find me, if you could take my hand and pull me through.

I've seen alot of weird things if that helps for an explanation.

To be clear, I most certainly do not want to cast any influence on your more pressing decision.

As before rejection will not offend me, I understand how far out on the limb i am here.

i see your pain, i respect and understand your rage. (i'm severely dyslexic and did my best to keep the words straight, another reason behind my abstract writing.) how would you expect one to find you? the topic of energy and what one may share with another is a large fascination and practice of mine. i attract those the universe wants me to interact with and allow it to come as it must. your rage against things such as child abuse it completely relatable (i am a victim of every flavor of abuse) and would defend a completely unknown child before i would defend myself. there's was a reason we are here talking now on such a strange forum and i would exchange simple contacts are some point if you would like (i run kik, i find the anonymity comforting) maybe that would make the conversation easier. find me @ mad.gods if you would like to continue the conversation somewhere else.

 

[pete_x]

Thank you, i would like to keep this in the open if that's acceptable.

The name my birth mother gave me is Augustus. That will stand out amongst the other voices.
So the way i figure, if i actually hear that name called, I will turn on a light, literally and figuratively, and play my cello. Follow that. I play for hours at a time.

Again this all supposes that i would still be here, my holding-pattern is fluid and slightly maddening.

I am truly sorry for hijacking your thread, i had to do this while i had the nerve.

Thank you for hearing me.

 

[madgod]

Thank you, i would like to keep this in the open if that's acceptable.

The name my birth mother gave me is Augustus. That will stand out amongst the other voices.
So the way i figure, if i actually hear that name called, I will turn on a light, literally and figuratively, and play my cello. Follow that. I play for hours at a time.

Again this all supposes that i would still be here, my holding-pattern is fluid and slightly maddening.

I am truly sorry for hijacking your thread, i had to do this while i had the nerve.

Thank you for hearing me.

again, i welcome it with open and eager arms. please consider contacting me through kik. i find you interesting and would love to speak with you in a more personal level. don't be shy. stay brilliant and i will be listening.

 

[Notabadguy]

Read Lostallhope, your method is extremely likely to not succeed

 

[pete_x]

again, i welcome it with open and eager arms. please consider contacting me through kik. i find you interesting and would love to speak with you in a more personal level. don't be shy. stay brilliant and i will be listening.

I had to think about that.
I'm not in physical danger but it's not safe for me to talk about my problems.
I'm basically involved in a low level war with certain family members.
I have to watch my back.
Have you ever had to speak with someone in "code" ?
While i could wear headphones, i couldn't really speak openly.
It's why i spend the majority of my life/time in silence.
If i can install kik on my laptop then i will. never used it before though.
If you want to know what i look like then just look at my thread in off-topic.
I tend to be more alive at night.

Okay i'm not installing kik, i'm not giving out my phone number. Is there a alternative?

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Somehow I'm curious... Im following..

 

[Living sucks]

Okay i'm not installing kik, i'm not giving out my phone number. Is there a alternative?

Fyi. https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/telegram-group-temp-downtime-privacy-setting.39818/

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Fyi. https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/telegram-group-temp-downtime-privacy-setting.39818/

Discord?

 

[NekoNomNom]

Should you commit to your course and go,

First I wish you well on your journey.

BUT, should you go and find yourself on an other side, or still here is some way/aspect
would you be willing to find me ?

I completely understand you. I've often hoped that when my times comes, others who have passed on will give me the strength to help me join them.

 

[madgod]

I had to think about that.
I'm not in physical danger but it's not safe for me to talk about my problems.
I'm basically involved in a low level war with certain family members.
I have to watch my back.
Have you ever had to speak with someone in "code" ?
While i could wear headphones, i couldn't really speak openly.
It's why i spend the majority of my life/time in silence.
If i can install kik on my laptop then i will. never used it before though.
If you want to know what i look like then just look at my thread in off-topic.
I tend to be more alive at night.

Okay i'm not installing kik, i'm not giving out my phone number. Is there a alternative?

discord perhaps my @ is mad.godz#0910. kik may use a number but no one ever sees it as it's an anonymous chat app. it simply asks for the number because it wants to make sure there's no one creating too many accounts. honestly it's the best anonymity as something like this requesting an email but i do respect your hesitation.

Somehow I'm curious... Im following..

hey, since my kik is floating feel free to message me, i need more people to talk to as everyone else i interact with is toxic or in my head. don't be shy, i come with tough skin and an open mind