Tomorrow is the night

[JustWantOut500]

Booked a hotel for tomorrow, going with partial. Have already tried twice in the woods but fear of being found/SI kick in, but with a hotel I refuse failure, I'm getting it done. Got a big bottle of booze and some benzos to deal with the SI.

I'll give updates tomorrow if anyone wants them. I appreciate everyone in here, sharing your stories helped me be less isolated with these dark thoughts that none of us can seem to escape. Hope you all find peace one way or the other

 

[soft-flower345]

I hope it's painless and you find peace I'm glad we could be here to provide comfort in community for you

 

[Vizzy]

Hope you find peace and plan go as planned

 

[Worndown]

Don't get too drunk. People sometimes fall asleep before the attempt.

 

[ubamantus1]

Thank you for your courage. I hope you'll find the peace you need.

 

[JustWantOut500]

Don't get too drunk. People sometimes fall asleep before the attempt.

That's great advice thank you.

 

[Letgo]

Wishing you peace and rest. Will be thinking of you.

 

[weepingfree]

Wishing you the outcome you desire. You deserve it

 

[Dreaming Freedom]

Booked a hotel for tomorrow, going with partial. Have already tried twice in the woods but fear of being found/SI kick in, but with a hotel I refuse failure, I'm getting it done. Got a big bottle of booze and some benzos to deal with the SI.

I'll give updates tomorrow if anyone wants them. I appreciate everyone in here, sharing your stories helped me be less isolated with these dark thoughts that none of us can seem to escape. Hope you all find peace one way or the other

I hope you finally find peace <<333

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find peace from all the suffering, best wishes and farewell, I admire your courage.

 

[SVEN]

Maybe try and have something to eat an hour or so before you start drinking, just to try to avoid vomiting if you drink on an empty stomach.
Every good wish for a safe and peaceful journey.

 

[Huntfish34]

Thoughts and prayers to you in whatever may happen, Godspeed-

 

[peachchildtenshi]

May you find what you desire at the end of the line.

 

[leavingsoon99]

If you're really going through with it, I wish you peace and a beautiful destination... if it's just rest. Farewell.

 

[cami]

if you change your mind, please reach out for help and support. there is no shaming in wanting to survive. but if you don't then i hope you find peace and light, because you certainly deserve joy <3

 

[lonely man]

Good luck bro.

 

[JustWantOut500]

Update: fucking failed. I'm in disbelief and could not be more devastated. Legitimately spent several nights trying this shit, it seems fucking impossible. When I would practice, I'd feel myself getting lightheaded and stop, assuming I was seconds away from passing out, turns out that's just not the case.

I dunno if I was doing something wrong or what, but I tried probably 100 times while at this hotel. Once your brain starts getting deprived of oxygen, trying to get through that part is the equivalent of trying to hold your breath until you pass out. Just does not feel possible. Could really use any help on what I possibly could've been doing wrong, or other viable methods etc, I'm just lost now. Finding somewhere to jump feels like my only option left.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Failed attempts are causing so much frustration and pain and to overcome SI is such a difficult task. Maybe you should try full suspension hanging? Or other methods, like inert gas/N2 or CO method?

I wish you all the best!

 

[GreenBanana23]

Update: fucking failed. I'm in disbelief and could not be more devastated. Legitimately spent several nights trying this shit, it seems fucking impossible. When I would practice, I'd feel myself getting lightheaded and stop, assuming I was seconds away from passing out, turns out that's just not the case.

I dunno if I was doing something wrong or what, but I tried probably 100 times while at this hotel. Once your brain starts getting deprived of oxygen, trying to get through that part is the equivalent of trying to hold your breath until you pass out. Just does not feel possible. Could really use any help on what I possibly could've been doing wrong, or other viable methods etc, I'm just lost now. Finding somewhere to jump feels like my only option left.

Im really sorry that you can't get past that phase. I've never personally experimented with hanging so I don't entirely relate but I can understand the difficulty. every method has a phase that is difficult to push past imo. I am not very knowledgeable about suicide methods so I will not try to aid you, I'd rather not push in the wrong direction and make your situation worse. I just want you to know you WILL find a way to CTB, my friend

 

[JustWantOut500]

Im really sorry that you can't get past that phase. I've never personally experimented with hanging so I don't entirely relate but I can understand the difficulty. every method has a phase that is difficult to push past imo. I am not very knowledgeable about suicide methods so I will not try to aid you, I'd rather not push in the wrong direction and make your situation worse. I just want you to know you WILL find a way to CTB, my friend

I appreciate it. And yea there's def always gonna be a tough part to push through, it just blows my mind that you'll hear stories about people dying this way accidentally, kids playing "the pass out game" etc, and yet when someone wants it more than anything they can't make it happen.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Good luck out there man, I wish you all the best

 

[lonely man]

when you practice dont stop when get dizzy, make yourself pass out completely a couple of times. . you will wake up after few seconds. and when u do the actual attempt it will be easy. did you find carotid exactly?

 

[Jule_from_Germany]

Booked a hotel for tomorrow, going with partial. Have already tried twice in the woods but fear of being found/SI kick in, but with a hotel I refuse failure, I'm getting it done. Got a big bottle of booze and some benzos to deal with the SI.

I'll give updates tomorrow if anyone wants them. I appreciate everyone in here, sharing your stories helped me be less isolated with these dark thoughts that none of us can seem to escape. Hope you all find peace one way or the other

I wish you best of luck. I've considered this too, but I don't know if it's not too risky. Maybe you're making noises and are found too early. I hope you'll find peace

 

[JustWantOut500]

I wish you best of luck. I've considered this too, but I don't know if it's not too risky. Maybe you're making noises and are found too early. I hope you'll find peace

Unfortunately I failed, I don't recommend partial as a method. I tried so many damn times, I was super drunk, on benzos, and still couldn't do it. You can breathe while it's happening, but once your brain becomes deprived of oxygen you crave air just as much as you would if you tried to hold your break until you pass out. It honestly felt impossible, so many times wound up gasping for air. Maybe I'm doing something wrong because the partial thread makes it seem way faster to pass out. But yea if you can figure out a better method I'd avoid this one, I'm trying to figure out my next method now.

 

[Jule_from_Germany]

Have you considered full suspension? Like somewhere in the woods, on an electric pole etc?

 

[JustWantOut500]

Have you considered full suspension? Like somewhere in the woods, on an electric pole etc?

I hadn't before but considering it now. Was hoping for a *relatively* painless and peaceful method but seems like that's not an option now. Considering full suspension or jumping, there's a high bridge not far from me.

when you practice dont stop when get dizzy, make yourself pass out completely a couple of times. . you will wake up after few seconds. and when u do the actual attempt it will be easy. did you find carotid exactly?

I was positive that I had found the carotid arteries but given how long it was taking to pass out compared to the time it says it should take on the hanging thread, I guess maybe I was wrong. I'll definitely try practicing more but right now this method just doesn't feel viable.

 

[JustWantOut500]

I wish you best of luck. I've considered this too, but I don't know if it's not too risky. Maybe you're making noises and are found too early. I hope you'll find peace

Obviously didn't work out, but just wanted to say I was concerned about the noises too, but I had the TV up high and the AC blasting right next to me, can't imagine anything would've happened if I made noises. I don't wanna say I don't recommend the method because my experience differs from what the partial thread describes, if you can figure it out better than I could it could work out, obviously plenty of people figured it out.

I do recommend alcohol/benzos. They helped a ton with SI, I didn't care about anything, it was literally just like an uncontrollable reaction to eventually need to gasp for air despite not having the windpipe blocked. It's an extremely odd feeling. The more I've thought about it, I guess the key really is to pass out fast and you'll never even reach that point.

 

[Jule_from_Germany]

Obviously didn't work out, but just wanted to say I was concerned about the noises too, but I had the TV up high and the AC blasting right next to me, can't imagine anything would've happened if I made noises. I don't wanna say I don't recommend the method because my experience differs from what the partial thread describes, if you can figure it out better than I could it could work out, obviously plenty of people figured it out.

I do recommend alcohol/benzos. They helped a ton with SI, I didn't care about anything, it was literally just like an uncontrollable reaction to eventually need to gasp for air despite not having the windpipe blocked. It's an extremely odd feeling. The more I've thought about it, I guess the key really is to pass out fast and you'll never even reach that point.

Will you try again?

 

[JustWantOut500]

Will you try to

Will you try again?

To CTB or partial specifically? I'll for sure be trying to CTB again, hopefully very soon, unsure on trying partial again. Failing is extremely defeating and wasted money on a hotel for nothing, right now just kinda thinking everything over, gonna look into other methods and try to figure out how to avoid failing again. really Wish I had access to SN or even a gun, but I live in a state where it's a process to get a gun license. I do have someone that could get me one unregistered, but I can't put that on their conscience and more importantly can't risk them winding up in trouble for it.

 

[MatthieuFrederickW]

To CTB or partial specifically? I'll for sure be trying to CTB again, hopefully very soon, unsure on trying partial again. Failing is extremely defeating and wasted money on a hotel for nothing, right now just kinda thinking everything over, gonna look into other methods and try to figure out how to avoid failing again. really Wish I had access to SN or even a gun, but I live in a state where it's a process to get a gun license. I do have someone that could get me one unregistered, but I can't put that on their conscience and more importantly can't risk them winding up in trouble for it.

Where was ligature placed on neck, above adams apple below mandible? Did you drop your weight into th pe noose quickly or lean forward into it. One hing about the partial mega thread I disagree with is the leaning forward using muscle to push yourself downwards into the noose which I don't think would be effective in losing consciousness. I think the best way is to just suddenly drop your weight down, let go, not gradually easing into it, close the carotids as fast as possible.