Venting Toilet Paper & Quarantine Quandary

[MartyByrde]

Like the good citizen I am, I have been staying in my home due to the pandemic. However, toilet paper is getting low, and no way im cutting up my well-loved tees to wipe my bum.

So as I'm now searching for that precious tp, I'm having to go out on daily searches to multiple stores. Does that not defeat the purpose of quarantine?

How are you all finding toilet paper? Other supplies?

 

[mesohappy]

I came up on some eggs at the corner store a little while ago..Went up $1 on price since I last saw them there.(one week ago)Was happy to pay it,I dont wanna take another bus ride uptown right now,and deal with the whole disappointment/danger.They had two cartons..Only needed one,but bought both..Guess this "hoarding crap" is contagious..Sad.

 

[MartyByrde]

I came up on some eggs at the corner store a little while ago..Went up $1 on price since I last saw them there.(one week ago)Was happy to pay it,I dont wanna take another bus ride uptown right now,and deal with the whole disappointment/danger.They had two cartons..Only needed one,but bought both..Guess this "hoarding crap" is contagious..Sad.

Yeah, I know what you mean. It's uncomfortable to think you might need something, but not be able to get it when it comes to basics.

Eggs were a smart buy. Good source of nutrition and versatile. When's breakfast?

 

[mesohappy]

Shit man,if you were close by I got you..Maybe you could trade me one of them tshirts I make some mean ass omellettes.

Seriously,I hope this all blows over soon,both the virus and the situations we are going through that lead us here..I reeaally hope it dont get worse.(either way).

 

[MartyByrde]

Shit man,if you were close by I got you..Maybe you could trade me one of them tshirts I make some mean ass omellettes.

Seriously,I hope this all blows over soon,both the virus and the situations we are going through that lead us here..I reeaally hope it dont get worse.(either way).

Same here. Take care of yourself and those eggs.

 

[mesohappy]

Ill sit on them like a mother hen..Maybe save the shells to scrape with.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Ill sit on them like a mother hen..Maybe save the shells to scrape with.

This is so troubling....

 

[Finis Autem Spero]

Ill sit on them like a mother hen..Maybe save the shells to scrape with.

This is how it starts.

First, we seek alternative methods of sphinctal hygiene. Bidets, old rags, poop knives, even the tubes the papaer were wrapped around! Then @mesohappy decides to utilise something they already have, something they can repurpose. An eggshell.
Soon, they realise it can be refined, and lower the number of eggshell pieces to around three or four. The method is shared far and wide across the land, saving many from unpleasant undercarriages.

The plague passes, the quarantine ends, and @mesohappy now has easy access to other materials. They refine the design to use a more easily reused and cleaned material; stainless steel. With the flexibility of the new material comes the opportunity for aesthetic changes to the design and @mesohappy decides to give them the appearance of clamshells.

The three seashells are adopted globally. Toilet paper is made obsolete. Crime ceases to exist. @mesohappy is praised as Butt Jesus. Cryogenically frozen law enforcement officers are confused when they come to save us from Wesley Snipes.

 

[MartyByrde]

This is how it starts.

First, we seek alternative methods of sphinctal hygiene. Bidets, old rags, poop knives, even the tubes the papaer were wrapped around! Then @mesohappy decides to utilise something they already have, something they can repurpose. An eggshell.
Soon, they realise it can be refined, and lower the number of eggshell pieces to around three or four. The method is shared far and wide across the land, saving many from unpleasant undercarriages.

The plague passes, the quarantine ends, and @mesohappy now has easy access to other materials. They refine the design to use a more easily reused and cleaned material; stainless steel. With the flexibility of the new material comes the opportunity for aesthetic changes to the design and @mesohappy decides to give them the appearance of clamshells.

The three seashells are adopted globally. Toilet paper is made obsolete. Crime ceases to exist. @mesohappy is praised as Butt Jesus. Cryogenically frozen law enforcement officers are confused when they come to save us from Wesley Snipes.

You had me at Butt Jesus.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

This is how it starts.

First, we seek alternative methods of sphinctal hygiene. Bidets, old rags, poop knives, even the tubes the papaer were wrapped around! Then @mesohappy decides to utilise something they already have, something they can repurpose. An eggshell.
Soon, they realise it can be refined, and lower the number of eggshell pieces to around three or four. The method is shared far and wide across the land, saving many from unpleasant undercarriages.

The plague passes, the quarantine ends, and @mesohappy now has easy access to other materials. They refine the design to use a more easily reused and cleaned material; stainless steel. With the flexibility of the new material comes the opportunity for aesthetic changes to the design and @mesohappy decides to give them the appearance of clamshells.

The three seashells are adopted globally. Toilet paper is made obsolete. Crime ceases to exist. @mesohappy is praised as Butt Jesus. Cryogenically frozen law enforcement officers are confused when they come to save us from Wesley Snipes.

You had me at Butt Jesus.

Totally had me at sphinctal hygeine.

Almost lost me at stainless steel.

Then...

Butt Jesus saves.

 

[mediocre]

Why do people hoard toilet paper specifically? That's the last thing I'd think about I would be hoarding food and water :o

 

[k75]

Why do people hoard toilet paper specifically? That's the last thing I'd think about I would be hoarding food and water :o

The best I can figure, it's a chain reaction kind of thing. A lot of people panic bought at once, like what happens with big snowstorns and stuff. Then people started buying as much as they could hoping to be assholes and resell it. That made everyone panic more because there appeared to be a shortage, and it's now just completely out of control and nobody even knows why they're hoarding it anymore. They just don't want to not have it.

What I thought was funny is everyone was buying toilet paper but tissues were totally untouched for the longest time. We're talking about a flu-like respiratory illness, so wouldn't it make more sense to buy stuff for blowing your nose instead??

Anyway, the best time to shop for it is super early in the morning. The stores here have been restocking toilet paper every day and limiting amounts per customer, but even then, they're selling out within half an hour of opening.

 

[mediocre]

Lol that's exactly what I thought and I've been stocking up on Kleenex myself. I seem to be the only one. But I live quite close to a shop and there hasn't really been any panic at all here except at the big supermarket stores.

 

[a_strange_day]

Why not just jump in the shower after taking a dump ? Some shit on your fingers won't kill you and it will easily go away with some soap. Jesus people you need to wash your bums with water or at least wet wipes after poop, anal hygiene is the key to a better world.

 

[waterbottleman]

Like the good citizen I am, I have been staying in my home due to the pandemic. However, toilet paper is getting low, and no way im cutting up my well-loved tees to wipe my bum.

So as I'm now searching for that precious tp, I'm having to go out on daily searches to multiple stores. Does that not defeat the purpose of quarantine?

How are you all finding toilet paper? Other supplies?

I have been unable to find toilet paper at the grocery stores where I live. However finding paper towels has been easy so I have a lot of paper towels.

I know you can't flush paper towels down the toilet, however you can just wipe with the paper towels and then throw them away in a garbage bag. That's what I'm going to do when my last roll of tp runs out.

Perhaps you can do this as well. It's a far better alternative than what you had in mind.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Butt Jesus

Had me there too

 

[mesohappy]

Lol that's exactly what I thought and I've been stocking up on Kleenex myself. I seem to be the only one. But I live quite close to a shop and there hasn't really been any panic at all here except at the big supermarket stores.

The small corner store by my place is only allowing 4 customers in store at one time,distancing enforced while waiting in line,cashiers wearing gloves and respirators,per owners orders...Plenty of paper towels,NO TOILET PAPER,rarely bread,or eggs.Milk can only be purchased one a day.

Yeah dont get me started on my local "super"market...Strange times

Yours truly-Butt Jesus.

 

[puppy9]

Like the good citizen I am, I have been staying in my home due to the pandemic. However, toilet paper is getting low, and no way im cutting up my well-loved tees to wipe my bum.

So as I'm now searching for that precious tp, I'm having to go out on daily searches to multiple stores. Does that not defeat the purpose of quarantine?

How are you all finding toilet paper? Other supplies?

Try bidet. It shoots warm water too.

 

[mesohappy]

This is how it starts.

First, we seek alternative methods of sphinctal hygiene. Bidets, old rags, poop knives, even the tubes the papaer were wrapped around! Then @mesohappy decides to utilise something they already have, something they can repurpose. An eggshell.
Soon, they realise it can be refined, and lower the number of eggshell pieces to around three or four. The method is shared far and wide across the land, saving many from unpleasant undercarriages.

The plague passes, the quarantine ends, and @mesohappy now has easy access to other materials. They refine the design to use a more easily reused and cleaned material; stainless steel. With the flexibility of the new material comes the opportunity for aesthetic changes to the design and @mesohappy decides to give them the appearance of clamshells.

The three seashells are adopted globally. Toilet paper is made obsolete. Crime ceases to exist. @mesohappy is praised as Butt Jesus. Cryogenically frozen law enforcement officers are confused when they come to save us from Wesley Snipes.

I like the way you think Mr demolition man...

 

[MartyByrde]

The best I can figure, it's a chain reaction kind of thing. A lot of people panic bought at once, like what happens with big snowstorns and stuff. Then people started buying as much as they could hoping to be assholes and resell it. That made everyone panic more because there appeared to be a shortage, and it's now just completely out of control and nobody even knows why they're hoarding it anymore. They just don't want to not have it.

What I thought was funny is everyone was buying toilet paper but tissues were totally untouched for the longest time. We're talking about a flu-like respiratory illness, so wouldn't it make more sense to buy stuff for blowing your nose instead??

Anyway, the best time to shop for it is super early in the morning. The stores here have been restocking toilet paper every day and limiting amounts per customer, but even then, they're selling out within half an hour of opening.

Thanks for the info. I don't get the Kleenex not being as in demand either. I was able to obtain a 4 pack of the exfoliating recycled tp. It's like less absorbent sand paper, but it will do for now.

Try bidet. It shoots warm water too.

Bidets are great. I've always wondered why Americans seem to ignore the usefulness of a bidet. I read sales are skyrocketing now. Maybe there's hope for America after all lol

I have been unable to find toilet paper at the grocery stores where I live. However finding paper towels has been easy so I have a lot of paper towels.

I know you can't flush paper towels down the toilet, however you can just wipe with the paper towels and then throw them away in a garbage bag. That's what I'm going to do when my last roll of tp runs out.

Perhaps you can do this as well. It's a far better alternative than what you had in mind.

Paper towels are also gone from the shelves here. I was joking about my tees. I'm not an animal--yet!

 

[k75]

I've noticed napkins are also still on the shelves sometimes. Weird stuff.
If all else fails, the trees will have new leaves? LOL

 

[MartyByrde]

The small corner store by my place is only allowing 4 customers in store at one time,distancing enforced while waiting in line,cashiers wearing gloves and respirators,per owners orders...Plenty of paper towels,NO TOILET PAPER,rarely bread,or eggs.Milk can only be purchased one a day.

Yeah dont get me started on my local "super"market...Strange times

Yours truly-Butt Jesus.

They're adding plexiglass between customers and cashiers at some stores here. I guess it's better than nothing, but it's more like security theater to me.

 

[waterbottleman]

Thanks for the info. I don't get the Kleenex not being as in demand either. I was able to obtain a 4 pack of the exfoliating recycled tp. It's like less absorbent sand paper, but it will do for now.

Bidets are great. I've always wondered why Americans seem to ignore the usefulness of a bidet. I read sales are skyrocketing now. Maybe there's hope for America after all lol

Paper towels are also gone from the shelves here. I was joking about my tees. I'm not an animal--yet!

Shit man well idk what to say then sorry. Hope you figure something out though lol. Gotta be creative I guess.

 

[k75]

They're adding plexiglass between customers and cashiers at some stores here. I guess it's better than nothing, but it's more like security theater to me.

We just have tape lines on the floors indicating where to stand and how far apart. But yesterday I had to go out and the store was stopping people before the registers and only letting one person per register through at a time. It was like directing traffic.

Nobody seems to complain or get irritated at lines now. Another strange thing I don't understand. Maybe some changes are good?

 

[MartyByrde]

We just have tape lines on the floors indicating where to stand and how far apart. But yesterday I had to go out and the store was stopping people before the registers and only letting one person per register through at a time. It was like directing traffic.

Nobody seems to complain or get irritated at lines now. Another strange thing I don't understand. Maybe some changes are good?

I think there are some bright sides to this nightmare too. I bet doggos everywhere are loving having families at home.

 

[mesohappy]

I think there are some bright sides to this nightmare too. I bet doggos everywhere are loving having families at home.

I know I love mines.Home aint a home, without something,someone there..To come back too,keep doin it all for.Love my pup..

She will get the last bite of protein in the house if it comes to that..

Yours truly-Butt Jesus.

 

[mattwitt]

Can't Find Toilet Paper? Here Are 12 Alternatives to TP - The Organic Prepper

What can you do when your precious supply of toilet paper runs out? Desperate times call for desperate solutions. Here are 12 alternatives to TP.

www.theorganicprepper.com

 

[departing]

I've had mixed success going first thing in the morning. It does defeat the purpose of quarantining but toilet paper is a necessity!

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I have too many TPs, no I won't share ....

 

[Blutsager]

I've been eating a lot less lately. Been trying to prepare, either for having to eat less in the future, or for when I have to fast before taking the SN if it ever comes to that.

Been eating only one meal a day most days for the past two weeks.