Help Today?

[Isaiah]

I think I've had enough. My mother just keeps triggering me. I want to go out and smoke my last cig and after that throw myself on rails. How cool it is having adult child and telling them that they're her slave? "Why would I buy vacuum cleaner? Then what for are you here? It's my house, when you move out then you can whatever you want. But give me your money from work, why would you need them here for, stupid bitch. As long as you're here you should do whatever the fuck I tell you to and you are here for long" like wtf? I don't want to be your slave but I can't escape? Huh? How's that? Yes, I should move out, but I don't have money or job. I'm dealing with my depression and it's hard for me to do anything but I do everything she says despite it. I don't know if I'm angry or what but I just don't want to endure it any longer.

 

[StateOfMind]

I feel you bro I have been dealing with my sociopathic Stasi mother all my life.
Last four years though I was forced to live with her.
My method is also train and hopefully I will be gone tonight.

 

[Umbrellaterm]

want. But give me your money from work, why would you need them here for, stupid bitch

She demands you give her money?

Stasi mother

What's stasi?

 

[Isaiah]

She demands you give her money?

Yes, she forcefully took my money away

 

[stygal]

I'm sorry for your difficult situation. Hopefully you can find a way to ignore her as best as you can. I feel like your maybe and rightfully angry and upset and thus your actual ctb could be a little rushed and not fully thought out. I hope you already planned and don't do something "stupid" which could leave you in an even more vulnerable state. Sending you good thoughts.

 

[Umbrellaterm]

ignore her

Ignore her? She's stealing his money ffs,

 

[BPD Barbie]

Sorry to hear what you're going through at the minute love. Have you ever sat down with her and told her how she makes you feel? I know maybe it's not ideal to tell her but maybe she would understand. Just a thought. Also, have you thought about getting help from your government? Going to the local office and saying you're suffering from abuse at home, they may be able to help you find somewhere else to live or help with some of the costs. Sending love

 

[stygal]

If he's in a bad mental headspace physical or verbal fighting won't help.
In the long run he needs to get out of there.

 

[StateOfMind]

What's stasi?

I was born in former East-Germany but the same shit still continues.
Look into Zersetzung.

Zersetzung - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[Umbrellaterm]

I was born in former East-Germany but the same shit still continues.
Look into Zersetzung.

Zersetzung - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

That seems awfully complicated. Unnecessarily so. No offense.

 

[Isaiah]

Also, have you thought about getting help from your government?

I live in 3rd world country. That's why I can't even openly tell anyone I'm diagnosed with depression. And we don't have laws against any form of abuse

 

[stygal]

I was born in former East-Germany but the same shit still continues.
Look into Zersetzung.

Sorry for your difficult situation as well, I understand how hard controlling/overbearing parents can be. Hoffentlich hast du alles gut durchdacht und triffst die richtige Entscheidung. Safe travels if it comes to it. <3

 

[StateOfMind]

That seems awfully complicated. Unnecessarily so. No offense.

It is extremely complicated to deal with but not entirely impossible to understand from the outside.
No worries not offended.
Imagine you are being forced to play a game of 3D chess but one is not equipped to deal with basics from the start.
Its a loose loose situation of the bat.
At least half of my life is a lie.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

If you feel you have a reliable plan any time is good, but I would advise you to sit yourself down for a few minutes to let any immediate emotions pass. Whether you end up ctb or not it's best to allow any impulsive thought to filter out so that they don't cloud your judgement. Feel free to talk to any of us if you need a distraction while you decide what you're doing.

 

[StuFin]

I live in the UK, a boy who was in my daughters year at school split up with his girlfriend and went to the rail tracks and jumped in front of a train.

My ex wife works on the trains and said they found bits of him all over, shoe with foot in it here, bits of arms there, rib cage found later wedged under carriage when the maintenance guys cleaned it up.

There have been loads there, like this one: https://www.thetelegraphandargus.co...ght-teenager-died-rail-tragedy-night-friends/ or this one: https://www.keighleynews.co.uk/news/18151461.updated-rail-lines-reopen-fatality-near-steeton/ and loads more, probably 20 a year just round here in the middle of nowhere.

And yet we have our resident train jumpers here who are supposedly intent on headbutting trains who never leave and just keep saying they'll do it over and over again ad nauseum.
Perhaps you could team up with the resident fire starters, and jump out in the middle of the night flapping your arms around while on fire in front of the train.

Imagine the shock that will give the driver.

It'll be hilarious.

 

[Ghost2211]

That's an awful position to be in. I'm sorry to hear life brought you into such an abusive household. My instinct would be to say to leave and get away from her, but you said you're in a poor country and have limited resources. My heart goes out to you. I hope you find peace and relief in whatever direction life takes you.