Today is the day! I have already booked a wooden house in a tiny village. It is one hour driving from my home. It has beams so I can put my rope around for full hanging. This morning I bought another rope just in case. Therefore, I go with two ropes. It is humorous because I went to Decathlon to buy this second rope this morning and, when I asked a young man that was working there for 5 meters of the rope, he smiled and joked saying to me: "You are not going to hang yourself with it, right?". I smiled back and said: "No, no". But... yes, literally.
Well, so I have my climbing rope and my polypropylene rope. Maybe I will try first (and hopefully do it successfully so first and last) with the climbing one. I am totally determined and I think I will not have any problems to kick the chair. I really hope so. However, it is very sad. I am 28 years old.I would really like to be ok and not to have this physical disfunction that has been conditioning me so much since 2015. Now when I look back and see such things that made me worry so many times in the past is like... was I stupid or something? Health is all I want. Only that. For those who are not suffering from a health issue, although I cannot talk without knowing you and knowing nothing at all about your circumstances, pleas give ctb a thought and consider it again.
I wanted to say thank you to you, to the administrators for running such a practical and necessary site, and to the users who help each other and share experiences, knowledge, emotions... I know I have not contributed a lot since I did register just some weeks ago and I am not that expert. I hope I have been able to help someone at least a little bit though.
I hope you all find peace.
Now I need to write the final version of my letters, have a shower, take my car, lie to the landlady saying my imaginary boyfriend will come later and that we have rented the cabin to relax and disconnect for one night, and then proceed. I hope they find me tomorrow morning or at lunchtime so that my family can be alerted by authorities and they do not get anxious trying to contact me.
Well, so I have my climbing rope and my polypropylene rope. Maybe I will try first (and hopefully do it successfully so first and last) with the climbing one. I am totally determined and I think I will not have any problems to kick the chair. I really hope so. However, it is very sad. I am 28 years old.I would really like to be ok and not to have this physical disfunction that has been conditioning me so much since 2015. Now when I look back and see such things that made me worry so many times in the past is like... was I stupid or something? Health is all I want. Only that. For those who are not suffering from a health issue, although I cannot talk without knowing you and knowing nothing at all about your circumstances, pleas give ctb a thought and consider it again.
I wanted to say thank you to you, to the administrators for running such a practical and necessary site, and to the users who help each other and share experiences, knowledge, emotions... I know I have not contributed a lot since I did register just some weeks ago and I am not that expert. I hope I have been able to help someone at least a little bit though.
I hope you all find peace.
Now I need to write the final version of my letters, have a shower, take my car, lie to the landlady saying my imaginary boyfriend will come later and that we have rented the cabin to relax and disconnect for one night, and then proceed. I hope they find me tomorrow morning or at lunchtime so that my family can be alerted by authorities and they do not get anxious trying to contact me.
