T
ThatStateOfMind
Paragon
- Nov 13, 2021
- 916
Today was absolutely terrible for me and my mental state. I had a long work day, and I was aware it would be long. I volunteered to stay at an area assuming it would be brief and basically was forced to stay there alone for 7 hours to keep the place watched. The little interactions I did have were with customers who came and I helped them unload their kayaks and canoes. The literal only two positives are that I got a tip (more so my manager who drove them got a tip, but he split it 50/50 since I helped unload the trailer), and that tomorrow is cancelled. Literally had suicidal ideation ALL DAY, for the whole 7 hours I was alone. Obviously, I still plan on pushing though even though it's hard. I'm determined to not be a quitter, and challenge that notion that I and others have. I even think of myself as a quitter and it makes me feel terrible. I think the earliest I'm willing to leave is around Mid-July and the latest I'll stay is early August, like right at the start, I'm out of that place. I can't wait for that day, as my classes start soon after and I get to back to the stuff I enjoy more, academics and computer science stuff.
Tldr: TODAY FUCKING SUCKED lol
Tldr: TODAY FUCKING SUCKED lol