SuicideBoys93
I am the lord of loneliness.
- Feb 10, 2020
- 324
I attended a funeral today for a family friend. In the face of death, I found life. I have spent the past three years picturing my departure from this life. I wanted to die because I stopped living. I walked up to the casket picturing myself in the casket wondering what it was like. At the moment in time the person I was looking at has answered one of the hottest topics on this board and in life. What was next? Is there a next? I was overwhelmed with the emotion of wanting to feel alive. French writer Francois Rabelais last words were "I go to seek a great perhaps." Some of you may recognize this from the novel Looking For Alaska. A book that I fell in love with reading at such a young age that I could honestly say sparked my interest in reading. Today I realized I want my great perhaps to be sought after here in this life. My life will more than likely not be easy. At points it may seem not worth living, but I made a promise to myself today that I would live. Today was most definitely weird and unexpecting.