Venting Today marks my 6th suicide attempt in 6 months.

[SHThrowAway213]

I can't do it.
All these attempts have been by hanging. You would of thought I would of learnt by now.
I have read the hanging megathread over and over again.
I have tried different things, places, positioning, knots ect and it just never works.
I did order SN but my partner found it and flushed it.
I would jump but the only thing near I can jump off is 80 feet and I don't want to survive it, but it looks like that's what I'm gonna have to do.
I can't hang myself. This has been proven.
This is so fucking frustrating.

 

[Abaigh]

I'm really sorry you feel this way I hope you find peace with whatever you decide on.

 

[I want to end it]

Can you order SN and hide it somewhere different? That's what I would do.

 

[jgm63]

Could you get a PO Box, and order things to go there ?

 

[SHThrowAway213]

Can you order SN and hide it somewhere different? That's what I would do.

Could you get a PO Box, and order things to go there ?

It's not an option to order it again, he's watching our bank account very carefully now and asking for receipts for when I go to the shops.
He will notice the transaction and ask about it.

 

[R_N]

You tried full suspension or only partial?

 

[SHThrowAway213]

You tried full suspension or only partial?

All partial, I have nowhere to do full.

 

[R_N]

All partial, I have nowhere to do full.

Oh I see. Don't beat yourself up over it. Most people here fail partial.

 

[jgm63]

It's not an option to order it again, he's watching our bank account very carefully now and asking for receipts for when I go to the shops.
He will notice the transaction and ask about it.

Well, there might be a way to buy some sort of gift card or preloaded credit/debit card, etc, using cash, although you would need to do some research.

If you were intending to use jumping as method then I had a few notes here :

Spoiler: post-550693

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...do-you-think-this-method-is.30187/post-550693

I would consider 200 feet / 14 floors to be a minimum, and 300 feet / 20 floors to be ideal.

Note : As always, please note that I strongly encourage you to seek help with whatever is troubling you. With the right help things can improve. There are many sources of help if you look and reach out. Please seek assistance in any and every way possible. You alone must decide upon your actions and take full responsibility for them, and you should always favour seeking help and keeping out of harm's way.

 

[k75]

80 feet is probably only high enough to maybe injure yourself and put yourself in a worse place than you are now. It's a great way to tell everyone you're suicidal and get sectioned, but that's it.

Please reconsider. There are better ways.

You don't have to rush this.

 

[Heady_Cerebrum]

I'd consider gaming your partner. Say you need to get a key cut, or a dress mended, or shoes, any business that is usually known to give manual receipts. Pick yourself a receipt book from staples, turn to a blank receipt (pick a receipt from the middle of the book). It's best to actually have an item that you need mending, or a key to cut, you get the drift. Then fudge the numbers by copying the real receipt into your middle page of your receipt book. Buy something from a thrift store that would be sold at the store your doing the fake receipt for. Increase the prices on the fake receipt so you will have the money you need for your supplies. The key is making it look realistic.

You could also take groceries from the house and pretend you've bought them, again. This depends on you being able to get the receipt for your original purchase or convincing your partner that the items you took out and brought back in cost the amount that you spent. If he doesn't trust that you spent that amount of money on the groceries tell your partner that they can look through the receipts you've been giving them to figure it out, accidents happen and you lost the receipt/weren't given one/self checkout out of paper and attendant taking too long. Of course only you can judge whether any of this is feasible.

Depending on your legal relationship status you could also affirm your right to privacy over the spending of funds which are legally just as much yours as his; in other words 'put your foot down'. This is dependant on the laws of your home country and how your relationship is classified under those laws.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Hi. I'm so sorry for your situation. Did you consider re-ordering SN?

 

[Despondent]

I'm sorry to hear about your frustration.. I'm sending hugs ❤ I hear that hanging is a difficult method to master. What is it that's not working? I'm curious because this will be my way out if I have the chance to get what it is that I need.

 

[Trisolaris]

I can't do it.
All these attempts have been by hanging. You would of thought I would of learnt by now.
I have read the hanging megathread over and over again.
I have tried different things, places, positioning, knots ect and it just never works.
I did order SN but my partner found it and flushed it.
I would jump but the only thing near I can jump off is 80 feet and I don't want to survive it, but it looks like that's what I'm gonna have to do.
I can't hang myself. This has been proven.
This is so fucking frustrating.

I know what you feel. I've been trying every day lately and it is extremely frustrating. What kind of rope, knot, and position are you using?

 

[MsPotts]

Have you looked into the night night method?

 

[SHThrowAway213]

Have you looked into the night night method?

Yes I have and I've tried it

I know what you feel. I've been trying every day lately and it is extremely frustrating. What kind of rope, knot, and position are you using?

Using nylon rope, slipknot and knot at back

 

[Ghost2211]

I hope your partner is coming from good intentions but it really sucks when we don't get to decide if we live or die. My partner is doing the same thing basically he won't let the baby out of my sight because he knows I won't hurt myself around the baby.

shallow water blackout? or becoming heavily intoxicated and drowning?

 

[Trisolaris]

What is the reason you're failing? Can't lose consciousness? SI?

 

[SHThrowAway213]

What is the reason you're failing? Can't lose consciousness? SI?

K can't pass out

 

[lambgf]

I understand how you feel and I'm sorry.

I tried to hang myself 3 times over the past 3 months but I was struggling too much and couldn't pass out so now I'm going with SN.

Sending hugs

 

[TAW122]

I'm very sorry to hear about all the suffering that you been through and as far as jumping from 80 feet, that is still unreliable so I would reconsider another height or other method. I hope you are able to find peace soon though.