Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance

[ienzya]

Suicide is ever prevalent in the transgender community, and I have little doubt many of those who have ended their lives came to this website. A user on this website who recently killed herself, whose name was Hana, had a story that deeply touched me. This world drives trans people to suicide far too often.

To all of you trans people on these forums - you are not alone. I sincerely hope that one day you leave these forums, but I understand why you're here. Hopefully one day, when things are better for us, suicide won't be so common.

Sending love,

 

[YukiFox]

Hi. Agatha here. I'm pre-hrt trans woman.
Since I accept myself as a trans woman I feel less hopeless, and the pursuit of my transition motivates me to keep going in this world. I hope I can transition at least the first semester of 2020.
Despite I' m a little confident about myself, I'm still fight the death thoughts, even I feel better everytime who I imagine living as a trans woman freely and openly. I fear a lot about my own death and I don' t want to be another sister who lost the battle, because I know I can`t pursuit my dreams if I do that final step (One of those dreams are to publish fantasy novels and short stories), but It' s frequently to fantasize about deciding to finish everything.
Also, the idea to still become an assigned male at birth terrifies me. I don' t want it anymore. I feel uncomfortable with all the beard shadow at my face. I'm disgusting about my baritone voice (I hope I can have a tonsil surgery because the tonsils pressure my vocal chords and that' s why I' m talking so masculine), and I don' t feel more secure to being named for my assigned name at birth. So that dysphoria triggers a lot my death thoughts. But I breath deeply and talk with myself to resist, that the times will be more bearable step by step, and I will become a confident and peaceful woman as soon as possible.
I want to keep going. I don' t want to be remembered by my death date. I want to being recognize by my books.
Blessings and hugs.