Venting Today is my birthday.

[Isadeth]

So like the title states, today is my birthday. It's been uneventful and calm, which is what I like. However, tonight my son started talking to me about my deceased eldest son. Not his fault... I encourage questions if he has them. He's 9 and is only trying to make sense of the world.

But I would be lying if him bringing it up didn't knock the wind out of me. It was unexpected. It was heartbreaking. Then he said, "You'll see each other again some day and be together when you die."

All I could think in that moment was dying and being with my dead child. All I could think about was him "coming to get me" and finally being at peace.

Happy Birthday to me.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

So like the title states, today is my birthday. It's been uneventful and calm, which is what I like. However, tonight my son started talking to me about my deceased eldest son. Not his fault... I encourage questions if he has them. He's 9 and is only trying to make sense of the world.

But I would be lying if him bringing it up didn't knock the wind out of me. It was unexpected. It was heartbreaking. Then he said, "You'll see each other again some day and be together when you die."

All I could think in that moment was dying and being with my dead child. All I could think about was him "coming to get me" and finally being at peace.

Happy Birthday to me.

That's fucking rough, as a parent myself I can only imagine what that was like. I've never lost a child but I haven't seen either of my young sons in a year now.

I'd wish you happy birthday but it doesn't feel right to do so. I'm sincerely sorry for your loss.

 

[Isadeth]

That's fucking rough, as a parent myself I can only imagine what that was like. I've never lost a child but I haven't seen either of my young sons in a year now.

I'd wish you happy birthday but it doesn't feel right to do so. I'm sincerely sorry for your loss.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. ♡ I'm sorry you haven't seen your children in so long. That's torture. Pure torture. I hope you're able to reunite.

 

[Good4Nothing]

Yah, "Happy Birthday" didn't feel right, so I gave you a quiet hug instead.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. ♡ I'm sorry you haven't seen your children in so long. That's torture. Pure torture. I hope you're able to reunite.

Hey you don't have to thank me, I enjoy your posts. I miss them but it's a difficult situation and that's just life sometimes. I'll drink one for ya tonight.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Sending you a big hug right now. I can't imagine the pain you're going through, and I'm so sorry.

 

[almost_dead]

happy birthday :3

 

[death137]

Hbd! Sorry about your eldest son.

 

[BipolarGuy]

So like the title states, today is my birthday. It's been uneventful and calm, which is what I like. However, tonight my son started talking to me about my deceased eldest son. Not his fault... I encourage questions if he has them. He's 9 and is only trying to make sense of the world.

But I would be lying if him bringing it up didn't knock the wind out of me. It was unexpected. It was heartbreaking. Then he said, "You'll see each other again some day and be together when you die."

All I could think in that moment was dying and being with my dead child. All I could think about was him "coming to get me" and finally being at peace.

Happy Birthday to me.

First of all, happy Birthday.
I hope you enjoy it, or at least have a relaxing time.

I'm sorry that you had the wind knocked out of you by your son's question.
How old was he when your other child died?

If you don't mind me asking, are you on this forum as you're considering suicide?

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

This story touches my heart so much. I'm sorry for the loss of your eldest son. I hope the memories of him bring you joy. It sounds like you have a loving and compassionate younger son. Perhaps there is a "happy birthday" in the conversation of reliving the happy memories with your older boy.

 

[Isadeth]

First of all, happy Birthday.
I hope you enjoy it, or at least have a relaxing time.

I'm sorry that you had the wind knocked out of you by your son's question.
How old was he when your other child died?

If you don't mind me asking, are you on this forum as you're considering suicide?

He wasn't born yet. He's my oldest living child now, and the idea of an older brother makes him have many questions, which I try to answer.
Thank you everyone for your heartfelt responses and birthday wishes ♡

 

[fuzattojuliana]

So like the title states, today is my birthday. It's been uneventful and calm, which is what I like. However, tonight my son started talking to me about my deceased eldest son. Not his fault... I encourage questions if he has them. He's 9 and is only trying to make sense of the world.

But I would be lying if him bringing it up didn't knock the wind out of me. It was unexpected. It was heartbreaking. Then he said, "You'll see each other again some day and be together when you die."

All I could think in that moment was dying and being with my dead child. All I could think about was him "coming to get me" and finally being at peace.

Happy Birthday to me.

Yesterday day was my birthday too! Thank you so much!

 

[Isadeth]

Yesterday day was my birthday too! Thank you so much!

Happy belated birthday! ♡

 

[fuzattojuliana]

Happy belated birthday! ♡

Thank you so much dear.

 

[Isadeth]

Thank you so much dear.

You're very welcome! I hope you had a great day xoxo

 

[clayp]

So like the title states, today is my birthday. It's been uneventful and calm, which is what I like. However, tonight my son started talking to me about my deceased eldest son. Not his fault... I encourage questions if he has them. He's 9 and is only trying to make sense of the world.

But I would be lying if him bringing it up didn't knock the wind out of me. It was unexpected. It was heartbreaking. Then he said, "You'll see each other again some day and be together when you die."

All I could think in that moment was dying and being with my dead child. All I could think about was him "coming to get me" and finally being at peace.

Happy Birthday to me.

Happy bday @Isadeth

 

[Silver]

So sorry to hear about your son. If you haven't already, maybe you could contact @Sinkinshyp who has also lost a son and who I believe had a difficult birthday recently due to her grief. Despite your sadness, I hope you and your son were able to celebrate your birthday in some way.

@fuzattojuliana hope you had a good birthday!

 

[Sinkinshyp]

So like the title states, today is my birthday. It's been uneventful and calm, which is what I like. However, tonight my son started talking to me about my deceased eldest son. Not his fault... I encourage questions if he has them. He's 9 and is only trying to make sense of the world.

But I would be lying if him bringing it up didn't knock the wind out of me. It was unexpected. It was heartbreaking. Then he said, "You'll see each other again some day and be together when you die."

All I could think in that moment was dying and being with my dead child. All I could think about was him "coming to get me" and finally being at peace.

Happy Birthday to me.

I'm so sorry you share the pain I have. There seems to be no more happy anything after our child is gone. I know that we fantasize daily about being reunited and what it's going to be like. If you want to talk feel free to pm me. I'm sorry your older son is no longer at your side.

Yesterday day was my birthday too! Thank you so much!

Happy Late birthday hun

 

[Isadeth]

I'm so sorry you share the pain I have. There seems to be no more happy anything after our child is gone. I know that we fantasize daily about being reunited and what it's going to be like. If you want to talk feel free to pm me. I'm sorry your older son is no longer at your side.

Happy Late birthday hun

Thank you for your heartfelt response. I'm so sorry we share this pain. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. You're absolutely right about fantasizing daily about being reunited with our children. It's a constant missing piece. I try to push it down and focus on my two boys that are here with me, but when it's brought up, even innocently, it catches me off guard. I hope you're doing well ♡

 

[Deleted member 1465]

So like the title states, today is my birthday. It's been uneventful and calm, which is what I like. However, tonight my son started talking to me about my deceased eldest son. Not his fault... I encourage questions if he has them. He's 9 and is only trying to make sense of the world.

But I would be lying if him bringing it up didn't knock the wind out of me. It was unexpected. It was heartbreaking. Then he said, "You'll see each other again some day and be together when you die."

All I could think in that moment was dying and being with my dead child. All I could think about was him "coming to get me" and finally being at peace.

Happy Birthday to me.

I don't know what to say. Just (hugs)

 

[Sinkinshyp]

Thank you for your heartfelt response. I'm so sorry we share this pain. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. You're absolutely right about fantasizing daily about being reunited with our children. It's a constant missing piece. I try to push it down and focus on my two boys that are here with me, but when it's brought up, even innocently, it catches me off guard. I hope you're doing well ♡

my younger son moved out a yr and a half almost to the day his brother died. He was 18 and 3 months than. I'm lost without my kids. I was a single mom since I was 20. I devoted my life to being mom. I wish I had young one around to need me or I didn't teach my older son about safe sex and I might have a grandchild from him. I spend basically 24/7 in my room to depressed to function. Joey will be gone 3 yrs next month. It's all my mind thinks about I can't make it stop. Yes, it is a constant piece missing from us. It would be kinder to be torn apart by a wolf pack than go through this very day, every second we are awake. As the saying goes out of the mouth of babes " "You'll see each other again some day and be together when you die." sounds like a very special 9 yr old. I'm always available momma... sending you love and hugs

 

[JohnDoe555]

Happy birthday! I can't imagine the pain you're going through, and I'm so sorry. And I'm so sorry about your son. Sending you hugs and love

 

[Jellyfish42]

Kind of ironic, it's a day of birth but the discussion seems to be around death. I guess the topic is even more sensitive because it's on your birthday.

Im not sure if saying 'sorry' helps, nor does saying 'happy birthday' to you at this time. Perhaps you can postpone your birthday celebration to a later date?

 

[Isadeth]

Kind of ironic, it's a day of birth but the discussion seems to be around death. I guess the topic is even more sensitive because it's on your birthday.

Im not sure if saying 'sorry' helps, nor does saying 'happy birthday' to you at this time. Perhaps you can postpone your birthday celebration to a later date?

I think it hit harder because it was while we were eating cake after singing "happy birthday"... it's a pain that's always there, but it caught me off guard. Other than that my birthday was fine. ♡

 

[foxdie]

Happy belated birthday. I'm sorry for your loss and that you're son unintentionally hit you with a ton of bricks on your b-day. I can't even imagine that pain. Sending love your way mon ami