Venting today is extra shit

[chocosyrup]

i usually find that everyday is just shit, but i woke up today feeling extra shit, through the whole today, it's 8 PM now and i just feel absolutely awful.
it's probably bipolar but i dont know, it doesnt feel like its from that. i hate this.
why does life genuinely have to be so awful? why is life designed in such a way that everyone suffers? a world completely based on luck and shit like genetics or where you were born with no choice of whether you actually wanna partake in such a shithole in the first place
i actually just want to end it so badly, if i had access to a prefered method rn i would do it.
actually fuck everything
rant over, had to let that out

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I'm sorry you're suffering with such a bad day today, I hope it gets better soon.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have such a bad day. I send you a virtual *HUG*!

I Hope it's better tomorrow!

 

[Blue Elephant]

Thank you for sharing your rant with us! I had a bad day as well. Some people hate for no apparent reason, want to hurt for no apparent reason and now I'm pissed and anxious and what was left of my bloody serenity is exhausted and .. uuuh shit!

I'm sorry about you having a bad day! I hope you have a better one tomorrow! :hugs:

 

[chocosyrup]

Thank you for sharing your rant with us! I had a bad day as well. Some people hate for no apparent reason, want to hurt for no apparent reason and now I'm pissed and anxious and what was left of my bloody serenity is exhausted and .. uuuh shit!

I'm sorry about you having a bad day! I hope you have a better one tomorrow! :hugs:

Yeah I went through a lot of stuff growing up with experiencing hate for absolutely no reason. I was forced into just keeping my mouth shut most of the time and not say a word and still be hated. I never understood it. How the fuck can you hate me if you've hardly even heard me speaking?

 

[Blue Elephant]

Yeah I went through a lot of stuff growing up with experiencing hate for absolutely no reason. I was forced into just keeping my mouth shut most of the time and not say a word and still be hated. I never understood it. How the fuck can you hate me if you've hardly even heard me speaking?

You know, I do the same, I try to keep my mouth shut and mind my own business, I try to live alone and stay as far away from others as possible and guess what: there are still idiots who try to break my shit. It feels like society is actively trying to kill me. It feels like I keep trying to make myself smaller and smaller and smaller.. but there's a limit! Oh how I want to CTB!

I'm sorry that you had bad experiences as well! No one deserves to go through things like that. : (

 

[chocosyrup]

You know, I do the same, I try to keep my mouth shut and mind my own business, I try to live alone and stay as far away from others as possible and guess what: there are still idiots who try to break my shit. It feels like society is actively trying to kill me. It feels like I keep trying to make myself smaller and smaller and smaller.. but there's a limit! Oh how I want to CTB!

I'm sorry that you had bad experiences as well! No one deserves to go through things like that. : (

It's absolutely devistating and I know what you're going through. In highschool I had a group of friends who I knew since primary school, they ended up abandoning me, calling me names when they saw me walk past and stealing stuff from me. I did absolutely nothing. They were doing stuff like telling me to shut up before that, so I did - I was already extremely quiet because of how I was raised but it seemed whenever I did actually talk they just shut me down. They then told me to stop hanging out with them. I don't know why, I knew them for years and they were my only friends, I guess we just live in a world where we get punished for wanting to be happy. It absolutely destroyed me to lose my only "friends" since I already wasn't doing well at the time.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd just wish to be free from this cruel and dreadful world where there is so much endless suffering. It's really horrible to me how suicide is purposely made so difficult even despite the fact that we were so cruelly forced to exist here in the first place.

 

[Blue Elephant]

@chocosyrup Most of the time I look at this species and I don't understand what are they doing. Animals are easy, you look at them and you understand but humans? I have no idea. : /