Today, I have not been suicidal ...

[a.n.kirillov]

... for the first time since November 2019.

Quite a statement.

 

[Brackenshire]

A good day for me too

 

[Brick In The Wall]

... for the first time since November 2019.

Quite a statement.

Impressive! Any particular reason? Wana double down on that?

 

[Arrow]

nice

 

[gnomeboy17]

That's great! I've been feeling better too, hope it lasts, for both of us :)

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Impressive! Any particular reason? Wana double down on that?

If I can

 

[Brick In The Wall]

There are plenty of reasons to live. But yea finding that right one for you can be tough.

One day at a time they say. But then again I've never lived multiple days at once either.

 

[Supersadmommy90]

Today was alright for me too. I briefly edged towards thinking about ctb but from a detached, unemotional standpoint. The thought of the act itself briefly crossed my mind but, it wasn't an all consuming thing where I felt the need to dwell on it. I kept busy for most of the day. Even though it was by no means a perfect day, I broke a valuable possession and got turned around on a long drive because I forgot something. Anyway, the day sucked and everything is still wrong with my life but, I wasn't suicidal. So high fives.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Happy and proud of you, small steps. Well done lovely

 

[Una]

@a.n.kirillov

I am really very glad for you. I would like to say 'may it last' or something similar, because I would like it to last for you, but I am no longer sure if that would be appropriate ... so in case it is - wishing you the best whatever it might mean to you.

I read your posts often and, if you don't mind me saying, - you have a style.

Best,
Una

 

[iknowwhatyouredoing]

thats awesome i felt good today too. when you get those moments of escape i try to really reflect on why you feel good, remember what made you feel that way. and everytime i get a moment of good feels it gets a little easier

 

[Squiddy]

Happy for you. I'm hoping to get that way one day :)

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Congrats! Well done, feels odd?

 

[Brackenshire]

A second day no big thoughts

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Well I don't expect to climb back out of this in a day; there are practical problems to solve. What's more, I know my moods. I can be on the brink of killing myself in the morning and cry tears of joy in the afternoon, without anything in the objective world having changed.
Whatever a shrink would make of that, I don't give a fuck ... maybe shrinks have never experienced a joy so great and simple.

A second day no big thoughts

Good for you! Let's hope it lasts for a while so you can get shit done.

Congrats! Well done, feels odd?

It felt uncomfortable near the end. Unfamiliar territory. I was slightly manic even and started writing a list of things I want to get into now, which included astrophysics, making field recordings, learning ancient greek, starting a mushroom farm in my basement and trying anabolic steroids on myself.

 

[Luchs]

... for the first time since November 2019.

Quite a statement.

Congratulations! I'm very happy for you.