Help To write a note or not to?

[AloneInCollege]

This is mostly a question that I could use help deciding on, but I also want to hear about your guys' opinion on notes. (I know you can't tell me the right answer, I don't want that, just some discussion or recommendations.)
Ok so my date is coming pretty soon (July 2nd) hopefully. And I'm not sure whether to write a note or not. On the pro-note side, I have a couple reasons. Half of my stuff is still at college so all my shit needs to be divided up between my family and friends that I have here and in college, I also have things I want to say and apologies that I want to make. On the anti-note side. I really don't think I want to be remembered or thought about. Ideally people would only find out I was dead weeks after and after that I want to be forgotten, also if I send out a note and then SI takes over and I don't do it I have a really awkward situation on my hands. I would love to hear everyone's thoughts.

 

[Viafactorum]

Personally I wouldn't write a note and if you are writing a note then keep it on you when you are taking the exit or leave it in a google drive/drop or on some device that law enforcement will sift through after you go through with your ctb. Don't set some automated message because as you said if the SI kicks in you don't go through with the ctb your relatives will get the message making a future attempt impossible. All this being said it is rather irrelevant to advise people on whether to write a note or note, because whether you write a note or note is completely dependent on your personality. I would not write a note because I want to just erase myself from this world. I have spent the past couple of years wiping all traces of myself off social media, not allowing my pictures to be taken etc. I don't need the memories.

 

[Banshe]

I have a handwritten note apologizing to my current partner. When it's time to CTB I intend to leave it on a desk along with my ring so they can have it, in theory.

Why do it like that? I'm not sure to be entirely honest. It just feels like the right thing to do in my own personal case.

 

[Trezzohno]

I was thinking of not writing note cause what is there really to say, but i dont want someone to be accused of poisoning me and staging it as a suicide. I will keep it brief like two or three sentences

 

[picklemick]

There's still some people I care about so somehow would like to apologize to them

 

[outatime_85]

I am in the process of documenting how I want my healthcare handled should I ever find myself hospitalized or unable to give directives; my funeral/burial handled; journaling all my thoughts; and working on a letter of apology to my family even though they don't and won't care.

When my time is up, I will also include a clear notation that the cash-out was done of my own volition and possibly instructions for my family on how to handle LE if they confiscate my personal items, etc.

When I decide that pushing my chips forward is no longer an option, all documents will be left for them in a discreet but easy-to-find location.

 

[Graytaichi]

Heres the problem. Writing shit notes like how suffering you are only agreviates the pain x10 more to the people whom u truely love. True hard facts. Writing encouraging notes can help lessen the sorrow and pain . Alot have been doing the exact opposite.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that I would personally choose to write a note to act as a form of closure and explanation for those left behind and it would mean that they are not left with unanswered questions. I would say things like there is nothing you could have done to prevent this. I do think that no matter what I would write, those left behind would still be unable to really understand what I went through in life, but for me personally it is better than nothing.

 

[TAW122]

I will give my two cents as well as an anecdote (take it with a grain of salt though) of my personal experience. I would say it depends on your situation as it is a very personal and individual choice.

That being said, there was actually a time, back in early 2019 where I had a critical time where if things goes sour I would CTB (plus I had my method at the time), and was ready for any outcome. I wrote several notes and had versions ready and just stored in an secret USB flashdrive (pw protected and also hidden away where nobody would know) and then months from the event, if/had things gone sour at the critical time, I would then be able to retrieve, finalize, and then carry out my CTB later that year. However, due to things going way better than I expected, I put off CTB'ing in 2019 (at that time) and didn't end up using my notes, but simply just left it in the dust for a future date. (Though in hindsight I should have CTB'd in 2019 if I knew the world would have gone to shit in 2020-present, plus I didn't miss anything in present day but that's a different story).

During the pandemic, my stance changed and knowing the difficulty and futility of writing a note (can't convince or change others and objectively speaking, nothing matters after I CTB as I won't be there to experience the aftermath) only for people to debate and challenge it at every corner, regardless of how well written, rational, or well-explained things are, I decided against leaving a note. Plus, my main reason is that I don't want to do anything to jeopardize all my efforts to CTB (getting the right time and circumstance, method, overcoming SI, and etc.).

I hope this helps you with whatever decision you end up making.

 

[AloneInCollege]

Thank you all for responding, it has been helpful to see your comments.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

This is mostly a question that I could use help deciding on, but I also want to hear about your guys' opinion on notes. (I know you can't tell me the right answer, I don't want that, just some discussion or recommendations.)
Ok so my date is coming pretty soon (July 2nd) hopefully. And I'm not sure whether to write a note or not. On the pro-note side, I have a couple reasons. Half of my stuff is still at college so all my shit needs to be divided up between my family and friends that I have here and in college, I also have things I want to say and apologies that I want to make. On the anti-note side. I really don't think I want to be remembered or thought about. Ideally people would only find out I was dead weeks after and after that I want to be forgotten, also if I send out a note and then SI takes over and I don't do it I have a really awkward situation on my hands. I would love to hear everyone's thoughts.

In this world, you can only control what you do. You can't control what others do, and that includes whether people remember you, or not. Writing a note, or not writing a note, isn't going to change that. Maybe they'll remember you as the one who didn't write a note. I agree with you about sending out a note and then not following through with your plans. That can be problematic. The only solution to that is to have the note(s) you write on your person, and when you're found, trust that the notes will make it to those you desire. I'm sure they will. Maybe after LE scrutinizes them, but does that really matter at that stage? I say that if you have something to say, then you should write a note(s) and keep them on you to be found later.