To those who never had a gf. Would you date a 5 kids mother?

[NothingElseMatters]

i think her attractive and all but 5 kids while i have none? is there any possibility to ever work? what would you do?

 

[NumbItAll]

I wouldn't wanna deal with someone else's genetic accidents, but that's just me. It could work if you like kids.

 

[Wojaczek]

Relationships don't make you that much more content with life if you already have depression.
Its a nice layover though

 

[4eyebiped]

Women with kids are typically a packaged deal. Most will expect you to eventually accept the kids and interact with them unless it is stated up front this is nothing more than a casual relationship. If the latter, then I recommend not having contact with the kids so they do not grow attached to you. Kids do take patience, attention and lots of energy, depending on age and other factors. They also will tag along if you guys go places, or require baby sitters if one of the kids aren't old enough to watch the others. If the entire family goes out, account for many mouths to feed, tickets to buy or whatever it is you are doing. Just one of many things to take into consideration. Remember there is a potential of 6 hearts to break instead of one. Best wishes.

 

[yive]

no

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

If she had the kids without having had sex, I'd consider it (not rly).

 

[Lupgevif]

Probably not. I'm inclined to say yes, but thinking better, nope.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

No but that's more because I'd basically be her sixth kid so I don't think she'd wanna date me either.

 

[StringPuppet]

Seems like a lot to deal with

 

[Phill]

No way.

 

[miserableforever]

It depends. This is coming for a parent. I'm very independent. I work and I like to take care of my offspring financially and emotionally.
I'd hate the guy being responsible for my kids, that's leeching and I can't stand it.
I have a bf and he helps with general bills cause we live together.
In that regard, if she doesn't use you, then I would say, why not?

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I'd say it depends how you handle yourself emotionally and financially and that's hard to gauge from the outside. We have people here who are successful and able to give themselves, and then others who live like kids and spend all day jerking it and eating junk food (definitely not me). This is a lot for anyone to take on, so ask yourself if you're able to step up to the proverbial plate if it ends up becoming serious.

 

[Manaaja]

Can I play video games with the kids and ignore the mom? Then when we will inevitably divorce, the kids will say "Yo, Manaaja is tha best Dark Souls playa in tha world! We've gonna live with them!" and the woman loses her five kids, and I gain five new friends to play Dark Souls with.

People have kids to play video games with someone, right? Tennis would be nice too. A tennis match a day keeps the biological mother away.

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

i think her attractive and all but 5 kids while i have none? is there any possibility to ever work? what would you do?

Not exactly the same thing, but I met and married a man with 5 kids. I have none of my own. When we met he had full custody of all of them.

We've now been together more than 18 years and married for 15 years as of this Saturday.

You need to accept that all the kids may never love or even like you. It's not a popular stance, but it's the truth. I am closer to some than to the others and that's just how it is.

It is possible, but it can be a tough relationship to navigate. Be ready to bail if it's not right and don't move in with them.

 

[MaskedMan12345]

Oh, has Talinda Bennington been asking for me? Yes, please. Oh drats, she only has three.

 

[summers]

@NothingElseMatters definitely not. It wouldn't matter if she were rich enough to bankroll me and looked like a hot anime character. Keep this as fwb's only. If she has 5 kids, she obviously likes to fuck. Make your intentions clear, and it could work out really well for you.

 

[Circles]

I tried 'dating' a single mom when I when in college for like 3 months or so but it was awkward and quite frankly we never even dated nor did we do anything. I just felt like I was being used or just being friendzoned or even worse that she was using me to get her ex back or something. Of course I admit I had something to do with it due me sucking with women in general but whatever. She was a new mom and the baby was a newborn so and I admit I was a stupid young person myself, but I don't think women should be dating at all when they have children especially that young. Especially if they let the children meet the men automatically before even trusting them or before knowing if they'll even stay long enough or not cause it'll probably mess with the kids mind. If the kids are older and mature enough, I don't know. All I know is that I'm not good with kids nor do I want them.

 

[TooConscious]

I tried 'dating' a single mom when I when in college for like 3 months or so but it was awkward and quite frankly we never even dated nor did we do anything. I just felt like I was being used or just being friendzoned or even worse that she was using me to get her ex back or something. Of course I admit I had something to do with it due me sucking with women in general but whatever. She was a new mom and the baby was a newborn so and I admit I was a stupid young person myself, but I don't think women should be dating at all when they have children especially that young. Especially if they let the children meet the men automatically before even trusting them or before knowing if they'll even stay long enough or not cause it'll probably mess with the kids mind. If the kids are older and mature enough, I don't know. All I know is that I'm not good with kids nor do I want them.

This common sense, sadly isn't so common these days.

Its disgusting how alot of women are fucking with their kids heads getting them to call the new boyfriend daddy, then when she's pissed off with him, suddenly the kids told he's not daddy, and then they are infatuated with a tinder dates romiaes and after two hours some even have the guy move in to give it a go.
These people should have the kids taken off them as some of these men are dating single mums to get to the kids, all because of the mums selfish willful ignorance to what ends up dwvwstating situations.

 

[Toonloon]

If you never had a gf before than you shouldn't start with a woman who has 5. I was into a woman who had 1 and would have raised him as my own if we got more serious. But I have experience in dating to a degree. I'm not the most emotionally great person to another adult so I wouldn't do great with kids as a role model and I know that.

So no I would strongly suggest you not get into the first real relationship with someone who has any kids period. Until you got more experience.

 

[Pluto]

The thing I find most intimidating is that it means being the most disposable member of the family. At any time you can be thrown out of the picture and no one would care. Very different to a nuclear family where there is far more incentive to work through problems and be considered a bona fide family member.

My sister once told me that she'd experienced putting years of parental investment into her partner's children only to have them grow up to ultimately say, "You're not my mum" and that was that.

 

[Grav]

Having lived with a mother of 2 I'd avoid it if it came up again. There's too much baggage you need to check first. Is there an ex? Is he an asshole? Do they fight all the time? How old are the kids and are they in moody teen years? Do you have any say in how the kids behave or do they get to throw knives at you and you sit there? Is she going to start seeing you as a cash machine? Your idea of date/sex nights could be way off base from hers when kids are home or have to have a sitter.

If it's just fwb then that's one thing but getting any more involved with her requires a lot of recon of the situation and being honest in your head about how far you're going to go and when fun time is over. I have some friends who have great relationships in a blended family but they knew what they were looking for at the beginning.

 

[Grav]

One thing came into my brain this morning: I'm assuming you're planning to ctb at some point (being on this forum) so if you have a fwb relationship (if that's what you want) and start to move beyond that the fallout becomes greater. This may not matter at all and I'm not saying you have to do anything based on me, but for me, it would be a bad move to get serious knowing how you are thinking, especially if the kids are young. Then again maybe this would be something to stop you from planning to ctb, things change. Just something to think about.

 

[Lefty]

Probably not, maybe one kid, I couldn't deal with five kids, but that's just me.

 

[Grav]

Yeah 5 is more than a handful. I grew up in a house of 5 kids and it was nuts from my eyes, can't imagine mom's daily dealings with us.