4eyebiped
Mage
- Dec 28, 2019
- 567
Earth has a circumference of almost twenty-five million miles around the equator. On top of its fifty-seven million square miles of land, twenty-four of which is habitable, randomly dispersed, are 7.6 billion unique individuals carrying on with their daily lives. I have always felt that no matter who you are, or how extreme your situation, there was always someone out there for you. After all, Bonnie found Clyde. I have no doubt the one for me is out there, somewhere, but where?
Perhaps, you have been far away on a small tropical island in a remote part of the world. Walking barefoot on the beach, you enjoy the feel of the sand as your toes playfully burrow down into the cooler layers below. The deep blue ocean relentlessly crashes against the shore as if the waves were drawn to you. I can see the breeze flowing through your long dark hair as the sun rises again to look down upon your golden face.
Maybe, all this time, you were close by, and we actually passed each other one cold day, as you were rushing along late for work. You were tightly bundled up like an adorable little burrito in a brown fuzzy cap, small mismatched mittens and a long tired ebony coat that sported patchwork repairs. Your pale soft face was a lovely contrast to your dark outfit and made one easily forget about the dreary bone chilling weather. You dropped something, and it was at that crucial moment, just as you leaned down to pick it up, obscured by the passing crowd, I walked by. We were both oblivious to each other's presence. Fate gave us a chance, but cruelly so.
Wherever you are, whatever you do, whatever you are wearing, however tall you are, whatever your hairstyle, or color, I miss you.
I miss all those times I could have held you tightly in my arms acting as your comforting suit of armor. I would had fought vigorously around the clock, and without tiring, to keep at bay all fears and pains. I would had been your moat, uncrossable by the best of swimmers. I would had been your towering wall, unscalable by the most skilled of climbers. I would had been your drawbridge, impenetrable by the largest of armies.
I miss that smile I so dearly sought after with such fervor. You were a Queen and I did not mind playing the role of the jester when needed. That smile warmed my heart and illuminated my soul with such intensity that the sun would had been nothing more than a dim candle light in comparison. Upon its witness, all negative thoughts would instantly dissipate and all the ills of the world would be momentarily forgotten. Your smile became my personal paradise, my new world.
I miss the chance of holding your delicate little hand. Like a mother does with her newborn, when first held, I would count out each little digit to make sure they were all intact and safe. Often, I could not control myself, and would be forced to affectionately raise your hand to my lips. I would stealthily glance over to see if you took notice, a quick kiss and then back down it went. I would had planted an entire forest worth, but I did not want to get caught. It was my enjoyable little secret. Maybe, you were aware and had your own secret of an equal joy.
I miss all those years I could have been exploring you. I could have laid there for an eternity admiring you, all of you. I felt like an ancient explorer mapping out a new world while discovering all its delightful mysteries and hidden wonders. I could never find a flaw as my hand gracefully followed all your curves like an endless heavenly road. The freckles, the moles, the scars… they were all masterfully placed brush strokes on the grand canvas of a wondrous painting. Without them, the painting would have lost its luster.
I miss those times we could have sat there, without the need to speak, enjoying the soothing comfort of each other's presence. With us, there was never a need to impress, or entertain. We had shared a lifetime of adventures together, and it was, as if there rocking on the porch outside our small cabin in antiquated wooden chairs, we would silently think about these many adventures. I believe, almost as if in sync, we were thinking about the same ones. Sometimes, we would chuckle or smile, at almost the same moment, peer over at each other, and as if in acknowledgement, nod, smile and just know what each was thinking.
I do fear I will never have that chance to meet you or even catch a quick glimpse of you passing by. I sometimes close my eyes and try to imagine you, but I can't. I only get a sense of the overwhelming joy you would bring me. Eventually, I will have to come to terms with you not being by my side. I will have to accept the emptiness and incompleteness of your absence.
As time progresses, all alone, my body will begin to crumble like an ancient stone golem as its magic begins to waver and then fade. My mind will begin to slow, dull and then forget. I will become old and irrelevant. Slowly, I will be absorbed back into the earth and become fuel for the next generation to start their quest to seek out their own love.
I must confess, I am selfish and want you all to myself, but I will say that I hope you are happy, wherever and with whomever. I hope you found the admiration and love you so rightly deserve. I hope someone is holding you right now and telling you just how wonderful, valuable and meaningful you are. Be safe my love. I will miss you even as I take my last breath.
Perhaps, you have been far away on a small tropical island in a remote part of the world. Walking barefoot on the beach, you enjoy the feel of the sand as your toes playfully burrow down into the cooler layers below. The deep blue ocean relentlessly crashes against the shore as if the waves were drawn to you. I can see the breeze flowing through your long dark hair as the sun rises again to look down upon your golden face.
Maybe, all this time, you were close by, and we actually passed each other one cold day, as you were rushing along late for work. You were tightly bundled up like an adorable little burrito in a brown fuzzy cap, small mismatched mittens and a long tired ebony coat that sported patchwork repairs. Your pale soft face was a lovely contrast to your dark outfit and made one easily forget about the dreary bone chilling weather. You dropped something, and it was at that crucial moment, just as you leaned down to pick it up, obscured by the passing crowd, I walked by. We were both oblivious to each other's presence. Fate gave us a chance, but cruelly so.
Wherever you are, whatever you do, whatever you are wearing, however tall you are, whatever your hairstyle, or color, I miss you.
I miss all those times I could have held you tightly in my arms acting as your comforting suit of armor. I would had fought vigorously around the clock, and without tiring, to keep at bay all fears and pains. I would had been your moat, uncrossable by the best of swimmers. I would had been your towering wall, unscalable by the most skilled of climbers. I would had been your drawbridge, impenetrable by the largest of armies.
I miss that smile I so dearly sought after with such fervor. You were a Queen and I did not mind playing the role of the jester when needed. That smile warmed my heart and illuminated my soul with such intensity that the sun would had been nothing more than a dim candle light in comparison. Upon its witness, all negative thoughts would instantly dissipate and all the ills of the world would be momentarily forgotten. Your smile became my personal paradise, my new world.
I miss the chance of holding your delicate little hand. Like a mother does with her newborn, when first held, I would count out each little digit to make sure they were all intact and safe. Often, I could not control myself, and would be forced to affectionately raise your hand to my lips. I would stealthily glance over to see if you took notice, a quick kiss and then back down it went. I would had planted an entire forest worth, but I did not want to get caught. It was my enjoyable little secret. Maybe, you were aware and had your own secret of an equal joy.
I miss all those years I could have been exploring you. I could have laid there for an eternity admiring you, all of you. I felt like an ancient explorer mapping out a new world while discovering all its delightful mysteries and hidden wonders. I could never find a flaw as my hand gracefully followed all your curves like an endless heavenly road. The freckles, the moles, the scars… they were all masterfully placed brush strokes on the grand canvas of a wondrous painting. Without them, the painting would have lost its luster.
I miss those times we could have sat there, without the need to speak, enjoying the soothing comfort of each other's presence. With us, there was never a need to impress, or entertain. We had shared a lifetime of adventures together, and it was, as if there rocking on the porch outside our small cabin in antiquated wooden chairs, we would silently think about these many adventures. I believe, almost as if in sync, we were thinking about the same ones. Sometimes, we would chuckle or smile, at almost the same moment, peer over at each other, and as if in acknowledgement, nod, smile and just know what each was thinking.
I do fear I will never have that chance to meet you or even catch a quick glimpse of you passing by. I sometimes close my eyes and try to imagine you, but I can't. I only get a sense of the overwhelming joy you would bring me. Eventually, I will have to come to terms with you not being by my side. I will have to accept the emptiness and incompleteness of your absence.
As time progresses, all alone, my body will begin to crumble like an ancient stone golem as its magic begins to waver and then fade. My mind will begin to slow, dull and then forget. I will become old and irrelevant. Slowly, I will be absorbed back into the earth and become fuel for the next generation to start their quest to seek out their own love.
I must confess, I am selfish and want you all to myself, but I will say that I hope you are happy, wherever and with whomever. I hope you found the admiration and love you so rightly deserve. I hope someone is holding you right now and telling you just how wonderful, valuable and meaningful you are. Be safe my love. I will miss you even as I take my last breath.
