To start living first one has to accept the life they have been presented with

[Loser47]

But I could never bring myself to accept this is life. I'm still grieving for my life.

 

[Good4Nothing]

Me, too, man.

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

Sometimes I'll get these waves of being able to accept my situation and being okay with what my future most likely will be but it never lasts.

 

[Loser47]

Sometimes I'll get these waves of being able to accept my situation and being okay with what my future most likely will be but it never lasts.

Same I have these moments once in a while but they never last and again I go back to same old hating life.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

We can meta-accept the resistance to accept-accept our situation. This will lead to being able to accept-accept.

 

[signifying nothing]

Does this work the same for death?

 

[Loser47]

We can meta-accept the resistance to accept-accept our situation. This will lead to being able to accept-accept.

To complex to understand o.O

Does this work the same for death?

Like?

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

To complex to understand o.O

We can accept that we can't accept, then we'll be able to accept later.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

We can accept that we can't accept, then we'll be able to accept later.

This sounds quite neat, and I think the first part is true. The best course of action is always to accept reality as it is. If it is unacceptable, then accept it as such. But making that final leap - its not at all clear to me how to do it without strayin off course. How can you accept something you already accepted as unacceptable without changing your mind? But maybe the point is to let your thoughts evolve without repressing them, so that you can bring yourself to a point where your mind would be able to change.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

This sounds quite neat, and I think the first part is true. The best course of action is always to accept reality as it is. If it is unacceptable, then accept it as such. But making that final leap - its not at all clear to me how to do it without strayin off course. How can you accept something you already accepted as unacceptable without changing your mind? But maybe the point is to let your thoughts evolve without repressing them, so that you can bring yourself to a point where your mind would be able to change.

It's not the same form of acceptance. There's emotional or "shit-tier" acceptance and then there is a higher-level acceptance which comes from secure knowledge and understanding. You drink caffeine late, you'll have trouble sleeping sort of thing.

 

[signifying nothing]

Like?

To start living first one has to accept death?

What I'm wondering about is the people that go through life in denial of death. Facing the reality of your eventual death can be a spur to live.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

It's not the same form of acceptance. There's emotional or "shit-tier" acceptance and then there is a higher-level acceptance which comes from secure knowledge and understanding. You drink caffeine late, you'll have trouble sleeping sort of thing.

So pretty much what I implied in the last sentence. Allow your mind to accept on an emotional level, so you'll find yourself so free of all the emotional balast that you are able to see things from a higher, universal point of view.
I had a few of these transcendental experiences. They never lasted.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

So pretty much what I implied in the last sentence. Allow your mind to accept on an emotional level, so you'll find yourself so free of all the emotional balast that you are able to see things from a higher, universal point of view.
I had a few of these transcendental experiences. They never lasted.

Yeah, we want understanding, not experience.

 

[WornOutLife]

I think the first step is to accept your life but if you don't like it, you should do your best to change it.

For example, I hated living with my parents so I worked my ass off and started living alone.

Now, I hate being overweight and alcoholic so I quit alcohol and started working out lots.

I know, it's hard, but remember: your mind is the one giving the orders here. You can choose to do nothing and become more suicidal or to actually improve your life quality.

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

I think the first step is to accept your life but if you don't like it, you should do your best to change it.

For example, I hated living with my parents so I worked my ass off and started living alone.

Now, I hate being overweight and alcoholic so I quit alcohol and started working out lots.

I know, it's hard, but remember: your mind is the one giving the orders here. You can choose to do nothing and become more suicidal or to actually improve your life quality.

I was able to do this not all that long ago. My mental health didn't really deteriorate to the point of thoughts of suicide until about 24. Up until about 31, when things got unbearable, it forced me into action because I couldn't take it. Like how they say negative feelings can sometimes be the best motivator. This was especially true for me. Even when I was absolutely miserable, exhausted and had no energy or motivation, I still forced myself to work out every day, to work on things. I even made myself work out excessively during severe heroin withdrawals. I forced myself to try and better my situation, even though nothing ever really came out of those attempts. At least I felt better in the moment.

Things aren't the same anymore though. I'm not the same, and neither are my circumstances. For one, both are worse and I can't force myself like I used to be able to, and it wasn't like it was easy before. I used to get slightly annoyed with people who wouldn't take my advice on this. You know, I get it, but just get up, do something.. you'll feel so much better.. but now I really get it. Not saying it's impossible, but I realize just how differently these things manifest in all of us and how it can be far more difficult (and sometimes is impossible) for some people to better themselves, even if on paper (or on screen these days), the same words are used to describe what are sometimes very different experiences.

 

[DocNo]

Not saying it's impossible, but I realize just how differently these things manifest in all of us and how it can be far more difficult (and sometimes is impossible) for some people to better themselves, even if on paper (or on screen these days), the same words are used to describe what is sometimes very different experiences.

exactly.

i also was able in my mid twenties when i realized that i have to take responsibility for myself that i have to make changes and get active. it eased my depression back then and it got a bit better.
but some things like pain and anxiety which seems to go on for generations in my family were so deep that i was never able to solve them for 20 years and so the always kept me in a depressive state which in the worst times made me so empty and everything so meaningless that even the easiest tasks became a huge mountain to climb which then felt so overwhelming that it felt impossible.

it would be nice if it would be that easy like @WornOutLife said: "You can choose to do nothing and become more suicidal or to actually improve your life quality".
but sadly i fear that is often not possible cause sometimes even the energy to choose is missing cause the hole is so deep and dark that it feels impossible to escape.

 

[WornOutLife]

exactly.

i also was able in my mid twenties when i realized that i have to take responsibility for myself that i have to make changes and get active. it eased my depression back then and it got a bit better.
but some things like pain and anxiety which seems to go on for generations in my family were so deep that i was never able to solve them for 20 years and so the always kept me in a depressive state which in the worst times made me so empty and everything so meaningless that even the easiest tasks became a huge mountain to climb which then felt so overwhelming that it felt impossible.

it would be nice if it would be that easy like @WornOutLife said: "You can choose to do nothing and become more suicidal or to actually improve your life quality".
but sadly i fear that is often not possible cause sometimes even the energy to choose is missing cause the hole is so deep and dark that it feels impossible to escape.

I know what not having the energy to keep on living feels like. My words are just what should be done but hell yeah, it's extremely difficult to get out of the ctb zone. I've been there since I'm 12 and only this year do I feel like I can kick this bipolar disorder and depression's asses lol.

Anyway, hope more ppl can win this battle. It's almost impossible but not impossible. (No pun intended)

 

[DocNo]

I know what not having the energy to keep on living feels like. My words are just what should be done but hell yeah, it's extremely difficult to get out of the ctb zone. I've been there since I'm 12 and only this year do I feel like I can kick this bipolar disorder and depression's asses lol.

Anyway, hope more ppl can win this battle. It's almost impossible but not impossible. (No pun intended)

yeah. i know. i also fight this shit forever.
but i am happy that you feel that it get's better for you. i also feel in the last time that i made some progress which i made never before. so i am also hopeful.

wish you all the best on your journey. despite that our ways didn't cross that much you and your avatar always make me feel good :)

 

[NodusTollens]

So pretty much what I implied in the last sentence. Allow your mind to accept on an emotional level, so you'll find yourself so free of all the emotional balast that you are able to see things from a higher, universal point of view.
I had a few of these transcendental experiences. They never lasted.

Found I fell into (I'm going to call it) the cycle of "acceptance" after reading self-help books. Temporary burst of unwavering acceptance- the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, that was THE last book to make me feel there could be a potential path to accepting what I'm going through. Read that November/Dec 2019.

Never lasts.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

My life isn't even that bad but the person living it just won't accept it. What a loser. He should die.

 

[Computer Blue]

Thank you for posting this Loser47. I am struggling to try to find an argument against your quote. It strikes me as similar to the Buddhist noble truth - suffering is caused by attachment. Accepting your life as it is and getting rid of attachment are things that are easy to say and not at all easy to do. I think one can make the great effort to accomplish either of these, but may find that it just doesn't last and requires constant effort to maintain.

 

[Passersby]

I know what your saying. This post is correct. Its easier said than done though. Sometimes even if you accept it in your head then you still can't get on with living if you are tormented with physical problems that steal life. For example if you could only lay around and stare at a wall but accepted that this is it and I can't change it then you would have accepted it. In reality though even though you accepted it your still not living because you are still laying around staring at a wall and can't change it because of physical suffering. The only way out of this type of scenario would be if you thought that was actually living and was somehow content with it but who the hell would be content with that? Some problems can be tougher than others. Hopefully we can improve them whatever the case may be to an acceptable level and perhaps get on with some kind of life. This is all you can do.

 

[Computer Blue]

Eckhart Tolle, for example, would say that consciousness grows and expands during any experience in this world of form … even if you are laying around staring at walls. I can't really comment on that. I know that suffering causes character growth, but in my opinion, if the suffering is too severe, then character growth could actually regress. Just my opinion.

 

[Passersby]

Hi Computer Blue,
Yeah Eckhart Tolle is pretty cool. I've listened to some of his stuff. He seems to have mastered meditation, relaxation techniques, and ways of dealing with life's stressful events. He is very in tune with his spiritual self. You are absolutely right on with this. I have tried to tell people this but they either won't listen or haven't suffered enough to understand. Sure there will be plenty of obstacles and suffering that once we fight through it and persevere then we become stronger and feel better. I hate that word persevere by the way and am sick of people telling me to do that! Luckily it's been a while since I've heard it. Like you said though when the suffering is too big, intolerable, possibly lifelong , and not fixable then we sink into a hole and can't get out. Our character that we spent our whole life building degrades and everything falls apart. Then you end up looking at ctb.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

Sometimes I'll get these waves of being able to accept my situation and being okay with what my future most likely will be but it never lasts.

This, exactly.