Discussion To minimise their pain , Should you tell your parents about your suicide plans or not : Your thoughts

[epic]

Pros of telling my plans:
1. When I finally go it won't come as a shock . The pain will be softened by the fact that I have told them beforehand (or would it?) .

Cons of telling my plans:
1. They will feel guilty of not being able to stop me.
2. They will actively try to stop me from committing suicide.
3. Might have to go to a shrink
4. Normal conversations might get awkward as they will try to be super nice.
5. They will have to carry the stress of knowing my suicidal ideation .

This is just my list . What are your thoughts on the subject. Should you tell your parents or not ?

 

[FuneralCry]

Absolutely not. Telling people in advance about suicide plans is always a bad idea in my opinion, like why risk it, it could very likely just make things worse and potentially cause others to interfere, making it difficult to actually ctb. There are so many people in this world who refuse to accept suicide as being a rational solution to end suffering and after all the subject of suicide is something which is still so stigmatised so of course it could never be beneficial being open about this. Instead I just see it as being better to write a note which could potentially act as a form of closure if those left behind have some sort of explanation.

 

[jodes2]

I would tell them. Let them try to help you. It's worth a shot anyway, who knows, maybe they can make a difference. But it lets them have a chance at helping which if they didn't get they'd regret. And while you're getting that help, explain that it's not making a difference and you just want to be gone, but you're grateful that they tried to help, but that you just had too many unfixable problems. But you never know therapy plus meds might help. They're trained to help

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it depends on whether you want to have a really good shot at recovery. Plus- knowing your own family to judge how they will react. If you want to try to recover- I think it would be very supportive to have them on board- in which case they probably ought to know how bad things are.

If someone is sure they will CTB regardless- I suppose then it's a judgement call. I know just telling my Dad something like that would devastate him and he'd just worry- without actually being able to help me. It doesn't seem fair to put him through that. I guess for other people though, they may think their parents would cope better and it may help them to prepare.

I don't feel like I can CTB while my Dad is still around anyway- so, he really doesn't need to know. He'll hopefully die oblivious and then, I can follow him.

 

[lionetta12]

Pros of telling my plans:
1. When I finally go it won't come as a shock . The pain will be softened by the fact that I have told them beforehand (or would it?) .

Cons of telling my plans:
1. They will feel guilty of not being able to stop me.
2. They will actively try to stop me from committing suicide.
3. Might have to go to a shrink
4. Normal conversations might get awkward as they will try to be super nice.
5. They will have to carry the stress of knowing my suicidal ideation .

This is just my list . What are your thoughts on the subject. Should you tell your parents or not ?

They all know about it, but they also don't care so nothing happens regardless if they know or don't.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Depends. If deep down inside you have hope that they can "help" you, then sure. There does run the risk of them having you involuntarily committed and stripped of your freedom and dignity, though.

 

[tchaik18401893]

They will almost certainly report you to the authorities if you tell them suicide ideations. The best way to ease their pain is to probably write it in a suicide note.

 

[UKscotty]

Definitely not. It will just burden them with what ifs and then you will be under a close watch.

What good can come of it? Unless you are not sure and what you actually want is help?

 

[LifeCanBeCruel]

Only tell them if you are unsure. Who knows, maybe they can help?

You should make it clear that nothing they say or do will push you into committing suicide.
(If the above ^ isn't true then definitely don't tell them)

 

[outrider567]

No

 

[stermc]

I have always been really open with my parents about my plans to ctb. I am not going to say it's easy, because they are constantly worried (except when I am doing fine, which is almost never). The good thing about it is that I don't have to pretend I am okay and I can tell them my feelings (we are close, so that's why it works). I am not sure if it will cause them less pain, but, in my case, I am sure they will not feel guilty nor lost. They always say they will understand and be with me in my decisions, but that doesn't stop them from making EVERYTHING they can to try to make me get better or to stop me from doing it.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

If you want to live, tell them. If not, no. If they're typical parents, they'll do everything in their power to get you help, including institutionalizing you, if that's what is necessary. If that possibility is OK with you, go ahead and tell them, which is really an outreach from you for help.

 

[epic]

Only tell them if you are unsure. Who knows, maybe they can help?

Unless you are not sure and what you actually want is help?

Depends. If deep down inside you have hope that they can "help" you, then sure

They can't help, if they could I would have asked them already . I was thinking purely from standpoint of minimizing their pain.

If that possibility is OK with you, go ahead and tell them, which is really an outreach from you for help.

Don't want to be institutionalized yikes.

 

[bramblebamblebambe]

From my experience I wouldn't suggest telling for their sake. My mum although not told, sussed it out from my deterioration. I've tried reassuring her that nothing can be done I've tried, the system is broken and it's just one of those things and she can't do anything, but her panic, worry and fear are causing her to not think or act clearly, (I'm autistic and it doesn't help that I have trouble with communication) and she keeps (I think) accidentally triggering and putting me in situations that cause panic attacks and elopement. Which then panics her more. It's so exhausting, I try really hard to not react until I'm calm and regulated but I'm just sacrificing my own wellbeing so she doesn't feel guilty, I didnt want her last memories of me to be this, but I have to do best with the situation cause I don't want to add even more to her suffering.

I think one of the worst parts, is when I'm masking my depression and don't look as bad as earlier or something, she gets this little glimmer of hope and it absolutely destroys me, I really wish she didn't know.

Ironically or kinda humourously, all my siblings are coming home this weekend hmmmmm I'm kinda dreading it, I don't think there's going to be an intervention but they're going to be overly nice, it won't be natural or comfy but awkward. Or I could try to see it differently, like it's a chance to see them one last time. It's gonna be so difficult though masking, lying.

 

[epic]

From my experience I wouldn't suggest telling for their sake. My mum although not told, sussed it out from my deterioration. I've tried reassuring her that nothing can be done I've tried, the system is broken and it's just one of those things and she can't do anything, but her panic, worry and fear are causing her to not think or act clearly, (I'm autistic and it doesn't help that I have trouble with communication) and she keeps (I think) accidentally triggering and putting me in situations that cause panic attacks and elopement. Which then panics her more. It's so exhausting, I try really hard to not react until I'm calm and regulated but I'm just sacrificing my own wellbeing so she doesn't feel guilty, I didnt want her last memories of me to be this, but I have to do best with the situation cause I don't want to add even more to her suffering.

I think one of the worst parts, is when I'm masking my depression and don't look as bad as earlier or something, she gets this little glimmer of hope and it absolutely destroys me, I really wish she didn't know.

Ironically or kinda humourously, all my siblings are coming home this weekend hmmmmm I'm kinda dreading it, I don't think there's going to be an intervention but they're going to be overly nice, it won't be natural or comfy but awkward. Or I could try to see it differently, like it's a chance to see them one last time. It's gonna be so difficult though masking, lying.

You penned exactly how I thought it would turn out for me too.

 

[Sittichmutter]

Yes.
You should tell your parents.
They can not read your thoughts.
And they must be aware of what is going on with you. All your suffering and pain.

 

[JB3567]

Not sure if you have told them yet or not but I would take it slow from my experience. I'd first tell them about your situation and that you need help. Then overtime I would gauge what their level of understanding is and wether it's worth telling them. If there staying stuff like oh just go out in the sun or start waking up at a normal time, than clearly it's hard for the person to grasp the situation and telling about CBT will cause them to freak out from my experience