Finished

Finished

Didn’t ask to be brought in this world!!!!!!!
Apr 19, 2020
34
Isn't it funny that we all just want someone to be a part of our life! But me I'll push everybody away! I do it because I know that is easier for me to do that then to get hurt again over and over! Or am I doing it because I am done living!
 
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S

SNOB

Member
Apr 7, 2020
78
it must be hard going thru what ur feeling.. maybe when the correct person comes along they wont be let themselves be pushed away (:
 
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Letmego. Please

Letmego. Please

Wizard
Nov 18, 2018
619
Do you have a diagnosis of Bpd or Eupd?

Apologies for the personal question but it could help you understand why you are pushing people away. Take care
 
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HorribleFeelings1

HorribleFeelings1

Its a hard knock life
Jan 18, 2020
321
Isn't it funny that we all just want someone to be a part of our life! But me I'll push everybody away! I do it because I know that is easier for me to do that then to get hurt again over and over! Or am I doing it because I am done living!
I'm so sorry for what you are going through ): I don't push people because I'm used to change and getting left but I DO push people away because I'm gonna CTB. I don't want to get close to people and then CTB, only to hurt them so I push them away by hurting them and it fucking sucks. But it helps knowing they will hurt a little less because of what I did to them, would rather have the world hate me and CTB so I don't have guilt of hurting people
 
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PaYo

Experienced
Jul 28, 2018
223
I puah people away because i wash pushed inside my own head. So deaply that mine thougts and feeling are burried so much that im not even ware of theyre existence. I wish to feel. But surrounds me vast emptiness that force away from me everything and everyone good.
 
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Finished

Finished

Didn’t ask to be brought in this world!!!!!!!
Apr 19, 2020
34
Do you have a diagnosis of Bpd or Eupd?

Apologies for the personal question but it could help you understand why you are pushing people away. Take care
I don't understand what your asking?
 
Bct

Bct

Disqualified from Being Human
Apr 20, 2020
419
I know what you feel. Past traumas made me hard to build relationships with people because I had been betrayed with people I considered as best friends at different times of my life. Rough family relationships also make me feel no intimacy with my family, so I never know what it feels to live in a nice family. Not to mention I barely having any romantic relationships and almost always (only one ex for barely a month) being failure in getting my crushes' attentions. Most likely I'm in the wrong side of life, and this loneliness is too painful to bear.
 
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Deleted member 10475

Deleted member 10475

Tired.
Sep 11, 2019
87
You've pretty much described how I've been feeling lately and I still don't understand much.

I got out of a long emotionally abusive relationship last year, I told myself that I was done trusting people because life so far has only taught me that I'll get hurt, every time. But I decided I'd try one more time, and like idiot, I learned the hard lesson again recently.

This time was a bit different, I had this person tell me everything I wanted to hear and it seemed so real but he completely disappeared on me after telling me he wanted me in his life, the same exact day. Now, I'm just thinking how can I believe anyone now? There's literally no point in trying anymore, I'm just tired of being lied to be everyone in my life. The only genuine love I seem to get is from my cat.

I just feel numb at this point and I guess me letting my guard down doesn't matter because I'm pretty much done with everything.
 
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Letmego. Please

Letmego. Please

Wizard
Nov 18, 2018
619
I don't understand what your asking?

You were questioning your reasons for pushing people away & ctb.
No offence was intended, was just seeing if there were things other than suicide that we could help you with or help you understand about yourself.

Apologies
 
SleeplessSoul

SleeplessSoul

Student
Apr 10, 2020
131
I've been feeling this a lot recently. I've always wanted to have someone who could just be there and to feel like me with. It's not romantically but the past year I've found this friendship group who seem to genuinely care for me. I always planned to just push people away so they weren't hurt when I ctb. I'm worried about what I'm going to do when I actually come to it
 

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