I am extremely exhausted there is no way I can live without family, friends and money. Society has neglected me and now I am neglecting myself. It is almost 60 years and I cannot handle anymore. I do not like to alone and I cannot have friends as people do not accept me the way I am only for what I have and since I do not have a job, family and friends people will not like. I hope all of you understand my reason to end my life. I have failed all my life. My siblings are so successful and me a piece of trash. I no longer have goals in life except to rehearse my death. I put a deadline for my death if my demands are not met. I wrote my obituary. and the apologize letter to first responders because they will find me in very bad shape like a halloween display. There is something wrong with me and society are so hypocritical that they do not have the guts to tell me. I know it is obvious why after almost 60 years I do not have friends, job, decent income my husband assaulted me almost 2 years ago and he is getting justice. It is obvious that there is something wrong with me that is why I do not have wishes to live and I need ideas how to committ suicide the earlier the better. All day I self destruct myself I can send videos if the forum allows as I am extremely suicidal
