tired and stupid

[39hatsune]

feel like ive made so many unrecoverable mistakes that i cant go back on, im really tired of living like this and have no idea what i want

dont really want to live, but also dont want to die

 

[whywere]

I am 69, a reference point for this post.

With that said I have made so HUGE mistakes and YES, I had to clean them up and sometimes face a VERY angry person, YIKES! BUT I also learned and grew from it.

I learned what NOT to do and learned to have love and patience towards others.

I tell my entire group that no one ever makes a mistake the first time around as it is a learning experience, the 2nd time YEP, it is a mistake because the person should have tried to learn from the 1st time around.

99.99% of the time the learning experience really helped the person, read me in the group, learn and expand a person's horizons.

I did not go to college till I was 24, worked my butt off and saved and went. Even at 24, I switched majors, still did not know what I wanted!

BUT now all these years later I can look back and say that, yes it was rough and fraught with a nervous stomach BUT i will, I think, semi-retire this spring and travel all over the place. Never could full retire to invested, I guess.

Now with all that said, you have so much talent and a beautiful horizon, take one step at a time, NEVER EVER beat yourself up, you are a WONDERFUL, KIND, LOVING and INTELLIGENT person, you ARE a winner.

I see myself in you so much and I want the very best for you.

Please be kind to yourself, watch a beautiful sunrise or sunset and dream.

You WILL be great

Lots of hugs and the knowledge that we are ALL in this together always.

Walter

 

[39hatsune]

I am 69, a reference point for this post.

With that said I have made so HUGE mistakes and YES, I had to clean them up and sometimes face a VERY angry person, YIKES! BUT I also learned and grew from it.

I learned what NOT to do and learned to have love and patience towards others.

I tell my entire group that no one ever makes a mistake the first time around as it is a learning experience, the 2nd time YEP, it is a mistake because the person should have tried to learn from the 1st time around.

99.99% of the time the learning experience really helped the person, read me in the group, learn and expand a person's horizons.

I did not go to college till I was 24, worked my butt off and saved and went. Even at 24, I switched majors, still did not know what I wanted!

BUT now all these years later I can look back and say that, yes it was rough and fraught with a nervous stomach BUT i will, I think, semi-retire this spring and travel all over the place. Never could full retire to invested, I guess.

Now with all that said, you have so much talent and a beautiful horizon, take one step at a time, NEVER EVER beat yourself up, you are a WONDERFUL, KIND, LOVING and INTELLIGENT person, you ARE a winner.

I see myself in you so much and I want the very best for you.

Please be kind to yourself, watch a beautiful sunrise or sunset and dream.

You WILL be great

Lots of hugs and the knowledge that we are ALL in this together always.

Walter

thank you very much, i really appreciate it! im glad it all worked out for you

i just want to ask if you still like grieve over or think about things that happened when you were young? if anything at all? i am 18, scared and feeling like it'll never get better

im not sure that i can ever forget the things that have happened to me

 

[fallen.dove]

feel like ive made so many unrecoverable mistakes that i cant go back on, im really tired of living like this and have no idea what i want

dont really want to live, but also dont want to die

i feel u.
take care<3

 

[whywere]

thank you very much, i really appreciate it! im glad it all worked out for you

i just want to ask if you still like grieve over or think about things that happened when you were young? if anything at all? i am 18, scared and feeling like it'll never get better

im not sure that i can ever forget the things that have happened to me

I had a HORRIBLE childhood.

My "parents" had a son to begin with, and my "mom" wanted a daughter, so they had sex again and BANG I was born as a male and NOT a female child. This was in 1956 and they wanted to leave me at the hospital for adoption. However, being 1956 they would have looked like horrible parents/people, so I went home and had 18 years of HELL!

The day after I turned 18, they drove me to town, I was raised on a working dairy farm, dropped me off on a street curb with NO food, NO money, NO nothing except the bag with my clothes in it and drove away. Never heard from them again, 100% their choice.

When both of them died it was in their wills that they did NOT want me at their wakes or funerals, so I stayed away, as I did not want a huge mess if I showed up.

Now, with all of that said, to answer your question, YES it affected me then and still does to some degree.

I have learned through the decades, that I way I was treated growing up gave me a foundation on how NOT to treat folks and to treat people in a warm, kind and loving way.

So, YES, it WILL get better for you, I 100% believe in that and in YOU.

I did not go to college till I was 24, had to save money up and also had no idea what I wanted in life, BUT over 40 years later I look back and smile that not only I did it my way and by myself, BUT that I treated everyone around me kindly and that I would not change a thing ever.

You have so much to look forward to.

Whenever I start to rethink about my childhood, still do sometimes, I always tell myself this: "Thinking about it is like carrying a load of rocks in a backpack that is tied to me, does no good at all, so get rid of the rocks and move forward".

You are beautiful, loving, caring and have a VERY bright future, I 100% believe in YOU

We are ALL in this together.

Walter

 

[39hatsune]

I had a HORRIBLE childhood.

My "parents" had a son to begin with, and my "mom" wanted a daughter, so they had sex again and BANG I was born as a male and NOT a female child. This was in 1956 and they wanted to leave me at the hospital for adoption. However, being 1956 they would have looked like horrible parents/people, so I went home and had 18 years of HELL!

The day after I turned 18, they drove me to town, I was raised on a working dairy farm, dropped me off on a street curb with NO food, NO money, NO nothing except the bag with my clothes in it and drove away. Never heard from them again, 100% their choice.

When both of them died it was in their wills that they did NOT want me at their wakes or funerals, so I stayed away, as I did not want a huge mess if I showed up.

Now, with all of that said, to answer your question, YES it affected me then and still does to some degree.

I have learned through the decades, that I way I was treated growing up gave me a foundation on how NOT to treat folks and to treat people in a warm, kind and loving way.

So, YES, it WILL get better for you, I 100% believe in that and in YOU.

I did not go to college till I was 24, had to save money up and also had no idea what I wanted in life, BUT over 40 years later I look back and smile that not only I did it my way and by myself, BUT that I treated everyone around me kindly and that I would not change a thing ever.

You have so much to look forward to.

Whenever I start to rethink about my childhood, still do sometimes, I always tell myself this: "Thinking about it is like carrying a load of rocks in a backpack that si tied to me, does no good at all, so get rid of the rocks and move forward".

You are beautiful, loving, caring and have a VERY bright future, I 100% believe in YOU

We are ALL in this together.

Walter

thank you walter and im so sorry about your past! so glad you are doing better

you are an inspiration and i hope i can view things the way you do some day, thanks so much :)